Saturday, June 25, 2005

A Man's got to know his limitations.

A glory, glory day! I don't have to go into work! Nine days in a row is over load for me. I was ready to snap. I was sarcastic to my boss last night when he asked the question, "I've always wondered what it would be like if I worked in a large sales center?" "You'd spend a lot more time with your wife." I fired back without thinking. Without thinking, mouth and brain not connected. I thought I had conquered that flaw in my personality...apartently not.

He wanted to see me in his office a little later. I quickly ducked into the bathroom and calculated the number of hours I had worked since Monday (54) and was prepared to add in the 10 hour driving time to and from work. Thank God, he over looked my irritability and just stated that I was going to be on my own pretty soon and wanted to make sure I was feeling comfortable.

Some of you may know I work for a major beverage company, THE major beverage company. My world has been rocked joining a sales center that delivers a little over a million cases. The Lexington Sales Center delivers over five and a half. It is like going from the Marriott to the Super 8.

To say I am in shock is an understatement.

To add insult to injury, the man who is training me is one of the ones who did not get the job! In effect, they are making him train his replacement. He has been moody and silent all week. Which makes me talk and jabber all the more. I know why he did not get the job. He is too slow! I call him the Turtle.

I will suffer fools, I will suffer bratty kids, but I can not suffer a Turtle out in the field. I WANT TO BE HOME AT 5:30! Is that asking too much!!! I spent about a week shadowing him and then I was master of the computer to take the orders! I think this is the source of his sorrow. I think he did not realize that I did this, for the Cold Drink side, for over seven years! It is nothing new to me! Ordering huge truckloads of product is new, but the concept is not! I think he thought maybe I would roll over and die when I had to do the ordering. Fact is, I can do it in a fraction of the time it took him!

This might be my first rant entry! Yea!!!! It sure feels good!

In Lexington, when I would leave the plant, I would take off my shoes and stockings and slip on flip flops. Those are my shoes of choice during the summer months.

Now I must wear men shoes! Woe is me!! And I have to wear my cell phone on my belt! Belt!!! I don't own a belt! The first time the phone rang, I could not get it off the stupid plastic holder and it flopped open and I was yelling, "I can't get it off my belt loop." was my boss, and Thank God it was on mute! I don't recognize myself in the mirror. My hair is pulled back in a pony tail, because when you are throwing cases and operating a pallet jack, flowing hair does not cut it.

This is my plan. Transfer to a Key Account position in six months!

If I survive.

Sunday, June 19, 2005


As my Dad grows older it becomes hard to be away from him on Father's Day. I will be missing the family dinner today as the rest of the family (minus my brother who lives in NYC) gathers in honor of the day.

I wish I had paid closer attention to the stories my Dad told about him growing up in NYC. I wish I had written down all the stories he told about WWII. They are all locked in his mind now, the key lost forever.

What I have are my memories of my Dad. First of all, my Dad's father was from the old country and an immigrant. He was one of the unlucky ones who could not handle it, was an alcoholic and abandoned the family when my Dad was six. It is amazing that he did not have a typical role model to show him how to be a Dad yet he did the best he could and to all his six children, he was the greatest.

I realize that now.

We sat at the table and had dinner together every evening. He would ask questions about school and then have his nighly quiz. "What is the capital of California?". "How do you spell prediditatior?"

When I began High School in another city, my Dad would take me to school in the mornings on his way to work at IBM. He was late for work for four years! I remember dreading those drives in the morning before they happened! What would we talk about for the 25 minute drive. I don't think it ever really was a problem.

Years and years later when I moved to Florida and did not like it and wanted to return home, my parents allowed me to stay with them until I got back on my feet. He was retired by that time and most afternoons we would sit and have lunch together. Those are the best memories for me being with my Dad. He talked and talked about his youth, the war, his mother, his family, his wonderful life.

Sometimes now, my Dad will sit forward in his chair and point a finger at me and announce to all others in the room, "Mary was the best swimmer out of all my kids! She was a champion!"

I love those moments.

I love my Dad, and I miss my Dad. He was the greatest and it is because of him and his unyielding faith in each of his off spring that has inspired each of us to pursue our own dreams and reach them.

Happy Fathers Day to Tom, my Dad.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Windshield Time

I was rambling down US 27 in Northern Indiana, my new main drag. It is a good thing that driving is a pleasure rather than a chore for me. I have my best thoughts, revelations, and conversations with myself while rolling down the lonesome highways.

I happened upon a jazz station out of Dayton. Not the wonderful old school style jazz of discombobulate melodies but the new smoothjazz. Not paying much attention to the music, it was a background score to the passing countryside.

As soon as the melody began, I recognized the song, "When a Man loves a Woman". I was catapolted back in time many years ago to a memory so sweet and and so strong that I realize now it was the most romantic moment in my life.

I was totally crazy and nuts about this guy. I met him.......well, there is a reason I left the story out of the Addicted to Love series. I was just so smitten with him for about eight months. He was much younger than I, by about 10 years. It was hard to see each other because we lived very far apart. Those are the type of relationships that remain fresh and unrealistic. Untouched by the pressures of the every day life. Towards the end, maybe even the last time I saw him, I was sad and depressed with the realization.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005


Yesterday was a good day after a stressed out week. The highlight of the day that altered my mood drastically was the computer hook-up. I could have unpacked a thousand more boxes and still been happy.

I have seen not less than three rainbows in the week I have been here! Very unusual for me. I see maybe that many in as many years! I can't get over how incredibly nice the people are here. Gueinely friendly and helpful. It seems they look you in the eye when they talk to you, they smile! I am not certain what I have been use to, but not this. Maybe I am just attune to niceness so far from home.

The new job is a booger and I may have to break my pseudo silence and write about it. I knew it was going to be challenging and difficult and physical. I'm not sure if I like it or not. The good thing is it keeps my mind off of my sorrow of leaving my family and the state I love to photograph.

I am in awe of the Amish everywhere! We share the road with them. I have been waving at them on the main corridors, but they ignore me. Probably think I'm a tourist. The other day I was taking a mandatory detour through the countryside and slowed down when I came to a bridge ahead. Two buggies were crossing. The first with two men. I was so surprised when both smiled at me and waved! The second buggy carried one very young man who gave me the cool "motorcycle wave" while holding the reigns ....and a smile.

Now I know, waving allowed only on less intense by-ways!

Welcome to Indiana!

Monday, June 13, 2005

How to say good bye

The past weeks have been some of the toughest in my life. To leave the work place I had been a member of for over seven years was harder than I imagined. Unlike leaving family, I know I have to keep in touch. It is up to me. As I gathered everyone's emails and home addressed I realized not one of them asked for my new address. Like every other place I have left, it is up to me to keep in touch, to keep it going. If I let go, its gone.

Sad but true.

During a very gloomy week, I had one ray of sunshine. I sashayed into the office on Thursday morning and my boss called to me from his office. "Guess who was in here yesterday?" Immediately I thought of the enraged Arab who threatened to kill me several years ago. Before I could come up with an incriminating answer he filled in the blank for me, "Brian!"

I couldn't have smiled wider. Then I became indignant, "What!! Why didn't he call me?"

Brian had left the clan in 2001. We kept in touch for several months but like a ding bat, I misplaced his cell phone number! Brian was on to bigger and better things in beautiful paradise-like areas only to be seen on very rare occasions. After that...nothing.

Brian is only several years older than my daughter and like a son to me. He was also my partner in crime for a long time until they (powers that be) decided to separate us.

For him to just drop in to the plant several days before I leave for good was a gift from God.

I called him on his cell and he was still in town and just getting ready to leave.

"Why didn't you call me last night!"

"Oh Mary, you know how I am when I start drinking beer!"

He had to go meet another friend at a donut shop and then he would call me.

He did. "I'm at that place." he said.

"Meadowthorpe Cafe?"

"Mary, that's scary"

"Being able to read your mind was always easy." I replied.

I love this kid and it was just wonderful to see him four years older and oh so much more mature. He has, as always, 100 things going on at once. Best of all, he has found a profession he loves and is very very good at.

It is so good to see "your children" find their path in life.