Saturday, September 30, 2006


Leaving Paradise Behind

I became slightly depressed knowing that the holiday was about to end. The familiar yet mundane life I left behind called me home. The creeping acceptance of the inevitable. The bittersweet. The realization that I actually did leave all my cares behind. For seven blissful days not once did I think about work! And on the evening of the last day aboard ship, I sat on the deck on the 11th floor, the weight of what I left behind settled on my shoulder and watched the sunset in the stormy sky leaning on me.

On a ship, you are never alone for long. Behind me I heard the shrill and bossy voice of an eight year old girl. That tone is known to mothers all over the world. This bossy woman-child sashayed to the rail and looked towards the setting sun. She turned and ignoring me, concentrated her remark behind me, "No! No! You stay right there!"

Around the corner of the laid out sun chairs, with a canister of soda pressed to her tiny breast, came the two year old. She wore a simple pink empire line dress with a ruffle on the hem and around the sleeveless arm holes. Her hair was so short, and so wispy, the fairy hair of the very young. On the island , she must have had beads braided along the top. On her tiny feet were girly-girl pink sandals.

She stumbled and staggered in that run/walk normally associated with drunks and two year olds.

She stood along side her sister and got tippy toed.

She pointed!

"I see a dolphin", she cried out.

Her older and much more sophisticated sister rolled her eyes and informed her..."You can't see a dolphin! It's too dark"

Her mother appeared from the right and in a soft murmur told her youngest daughter that the dolphins were sleeping.

Little Pink handed her mom the soda container. Turning towards the sea and grabbing the rail she puffed out her chest and began calling loudly, at the top of her lungs.......


It was my very favorite moment of the trip.

Sadness took a dive. He sleeps with the dolphins.

Friday, September 22, 2006


I'm considering changing the name of this blog. In the beginning I thought the name was so clever.

Now it just seems old and worn out. I need to reinvent myself.

Recently another one of my blogging buddies changed the name of his blog and it just automatically changed in my bloglines.

The handful of people who keep up with this blog I hope will hang on.

Okay, I've considered and I am doing it.

Also, heading out on a trip tomorrow. Hence the luggage.

I think I may have one post in me before taking off.

Good-bye MLIAOB.

Somebody is probably going to snap it right up!!

Thursday, September 21, 2006


(My daughters luggage at Standiford Field in Louisville after our trip to Tampa in May (my only bag is the one with the colorful spots...the rest is hers, I kid you not))

I was so busy being a single parent and going to night school that the need for luggage was an expense I by-passed. If needed, I would borrow some miss matched pieces from my Mom. I distinctly remember her green Samsonite. I felt secure with Samsonite knowing that the gorillas in the luggage department would not be able to destroy it, even if they tried.

I continued to borrow my Mom's stuff on various occasions through out the years.

When Joe and I decided to go to Colorado, I rushed to Walmart and spent a whopping $50 on three pieces of matched cheap luggage. They were great! They looked exactly like everyone else's luggage and were very difficult to find on the carousel in the luggage claim area. It required that I put little colorful dots all over our stuff. Cute and effective.

Not only has it traveled to Colorado, but to Boston, Gatlinburg, Chicago, Cleveland, several times to Miami, as many and more times to Tampa, Orlando, West Palm Beach, (I love Florida), Columbus, Detroit, Knoxville, Louisville, Jamaica, Atlanta, Cincinnati, Nassau, Ireland, Cancun and Dahlonega.

It survived the category five hurricane Wilma in the bath tub of the Rue Caribe Hotel in October of last year. It survived being lost after a trip to Miami.

It has begun to show the signs of constant wear and tear. The inside of the suitcase is breaking apart. Little pieces of plastic siding fall off every time it is used as of late. The zippers stick.

It's only five years old and time to retire. Yet, I really like the scuffed up look this luggage has acquired. It has aged well and with dignity. No self respecting thief would give this set a second look. Certainly nothing of much value could be in that ugly, worn out Walmart brand baggage!

My wonderful and thoughtful husband surprised me with a set of new luggage! Beautiful, big, light weight and pink. Yes, pink. No need for colorful little dots anymore. I will have the only hot pink bags on the carousel! I just know it!!

My beautiful new Ricardo luggage will catch the eye of the luggage handlers.


Monday, September 18, 2006


Go Shopping for Greeting Cards!

I was balancing my cheek book and feeling slightly ill. It had been raining all day. My hair was ruined at 630 am. One of the Smart Aleck's has taken another job and will be leaving us. I find I still want to run my daughters life. She hung up on me, rightly so.

It was in this state that I dragged into Walmart with the hopes to find Indian Candy Corn. It is that time of year. The only time of year the stores have that heavenly chocolate delicacy.

Suddenly I was momentarily blinded. A vivid glitter-glow, all luminous and shiny with a thousand hues of orange, the brand new card section screaming HALLOWEEN at me!

My mood immediately lifted as I picked out cards for my rotten daughter, my best bud, my good friend in Lexington, my Senior pen pal, my long lost friend in Louisville, the crew I left behind, and my Mom!!

Who knew?

I also found the candy!!

Saturday, September 16, 2006


Yes it's true. I have junk everywhere. So much junk in fact that I had to rent a storage unit just so my husband would not make me throw it away. I was able to lay my hands on the Rolling Stones ticket from 1981 because I had just seen the small cache of stuff in an abandoned metal box several weeks ago while cleaning out the garage...of accumulated junk from my job.

The box was hidden in a old medicine cabinet hung on the back wall. I found the box of treasure when I opened it to see what the heck was in there.

Why do I hang on to ticket stubs, bus passes, old yellowing pieces of paper cut from the newspapers of years gone by? Because each one evokes a memory. Each one is an artifact from my past. A fossil of my existence. My history. My trail of tears. Tiny moments that I would have long forgotten, and have forgotten until I hold in hand the receipts of my life.

A night sometime in the early 1980's at the Palace Theatre in Louisville to see John Prine. I was introduced to John's music while a student at Murray State University (ahhhh the memories from that time in my life). After the show I waited to meet him and asked him to sign my ticket stub. "Hello in there Love, John Prine" he wrote on the back.

Louisville Redbird stubs. 1983-85. I went with so many people!! The company I worked for had season tickets located at first base. My brother Pat and I went and were sitting there with beer in hand at the first pitch of the first inning and the first hit headed directly at us!! He stood and shielded me from being cracked in the head splashing beer over me in the process, and the ball bounced off his thumb into the row behind us. People offered up sympathy to him for not being able to catch the ball by patting him on the back. Yet, he saved his beer and me.

Bo Diddley ticket stub. I was dating Dennis (at the time) and he caught a gig playing drums for Bo that evening. The concert was in a hotel off Hurstbourne Lane. Dennis was a little upset afterwards because having never played with this band before Bo felt it necessary to kept turning around and signal slow down!!

Magic Kingdom passes. My Mom and Dad took Bridget and I to Florida in 1986. We were staying in a hotel in Orlando and Mom was approached by a man who offered her his tickets at a substantially cut rate price. He had purchased three day passes, but was unable to stay for the third day. My Mom is never one to pass up a bargain! I'll never forget the feeling that came over me as Bridget and I rode the monorail into the park. The Magic Kingdom came into view. My heart began pounding and I fell into a time tunnel that transported me back in time. The child in me was jumping up and down saying "Yes, yes, yes!! What I have been waiting for all my life!!!"

A tote ticket from Churchill Downs from 1986.

My YMCA pass from the mid-80's.

An inspiring horoscope.

Tickets to the Derby Dinner Playhouse to see Jesus Christ Superstar.

Movie ticket stubs.


But also secret buried treasure.

Buried memories that are treasures.

Thursday, September 14, 2006


The Stones are playing Churchill Downs in Louisville on September 29th.

Now I have seen the Stones plenty of times over the years. The last time being 1989. 17 years ago! It was outdoors, at the UofL football stadium...maybe.

I remember that it took a long time to realize what songs they were playing.

Unlike their SOME GIRLS tour, which was fabulous.

It is unfair to think that something has happened to the Stones.

Something has happened to me.

Steel Wheels was the last Stones album I purchased, if you don't count the SOME GIRLS album with the original cover. I found (at the flea market, natch) and gave to my Brother-in-Law. Somewhere I read they printed only 100,000 of this particular cover before they were forced to stop because of the copywrite infringement laws.

I knew he would love it. Appreciate it.

(Why do I remember a different album cover for Beggars Banquet than I see now? Am I loosing it in my old age?)

In a moment of pure delusion, I checked out the prices for the show in Louisville.

Oh My God.

For a mere $150 I can get a ticket...but I'm not promised a view. How bizarre!!

For $2500 I can have it all. And Alice Cooper.

Naturally I went on a quick hunt for my 1981 ticket. Left hand stage. I could have spit and hit the stage.

Inflation is outrageous.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

My Day In Court

When I headed downtown for my day in court, to plead my case as to why I was not guilty of running a red light,...I cut the time a little too close, very close and it was made even more hair raising when I realized I did not know where to go.

I virtually ran to the court house. Upon arrival I joined a large mass of people. All looking solemn, very concerned, and quite angry. My type of people. I got at the back of a line, every one was so quiet and giving off incredible strained vibes, I couldn't help myself and blurted out, "Is this the line for traffic court?" Those around me nodded yes and I held out my ticket, "Anyone get pulled over for that trap at Coldwater & Coliseum?". They erupted like a volcano! Everyone had a story. A truck driver with a heavy load of recyclable, a lady with a grand baby in the back seat, crazy drivers who cut in too close, rear ending horrors. Non-sympathetic and heartless cops. Anger and frustration ruled this crowd.

Good! I'm glad I was not the only one offended that I was called a law breaker. Such a lie! I was pushed through that intersection! If I had braked, like everyone around me, I would have been rear ended.

The court room was a zoo. Albeit , a well behaved and respectful, very quiet zoo. The Zoo Keeper was a Super-sized bailiff. He was terrific. In a before life he must have been a traffic cop. The hand language was exquisite pantomime. The exaggerated wrist flick meant "Get away from the door". The "bring it to me" finger fluttering could only mean, "Get your butts to the front". The explicit finger pointing interpreted as, "Stand behind the rail!"

And the sweet gentle gesture of bringing one finger to his lips silenced us all. One look into the crowd would catch the eye of the offender and stop him dead with the of most menacing of glares. He could pick anyone out of the mass, catch their attention and control them with one glance. Every man who entered the back door with a hat on his head was immediately aware of the death ray glare thrown his way across the room. Hats were immediately swept off the head.

He was poetry in motion.

What is up with traffic court? Why did we have public intoxication convicts wearing those orange suits usually associated with the University of Tennessee? I'm here to tell you, one of those guys was HOT. Long wavy hair, a left over from the hippie days, Woodstock. Or maybe a biker. He was beautiful.

We also had in our presence the man who streaked the Bob Dylan concert. Which was held at the minor league ball park last night. I made up the streaking part. I was not there but I would like to think that people still streak to get attention...and to get arrested.

Cocaine possession with intent, persistent felons who did not appear in court and where finally apprehended and forced to appear, women inmates along with the men, not certain what they did, but was told where some of them worked, (strip club!) The judge and the prosecuting attorney had the annoying habit of referring to everything as case number XXXXXXXXXXX053 with a CDS secret code attached and house detention. Juicy stuff that we were only given a teaser.

Everything moved swiftly, if losing three hours of your life is swift. People came and went, entered and stood, found seats of those who were called, babies were banished, interpreters were found for those who did not speak English, husbands stood at the podium for their wives who were out in the lobby with the baby and could not speak the language anyway, only Arabic. Some only Spanish. And then there was the guy who told the judge that he slurred. "Maybe a stint with the CDS would help that slur" the judge told him. The inmates went first. Lawyers and clients went next. Unfinished business was resolved. Some remanded.

Then it was my turn.


When I was asked what I wanted to state, well I stated...."I protest..."

Court Date (jury trial!!!!!????) (only a fool defends a fool????) this February.

Oh wow. Five months to draw diagram's, plan a defense, and .........

Search the internet to find out if that guy really did streak the concert last night.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Going up the Country, Baby....

....don't you wanna go

I have been really taking advantage of the long week-end. I have been forcing myself to have a good time, find some long over due projects to get started, and think about issues.

Like.....why I have totally abandoned my paper journal? If I opened the journal I would be surprised if I wrote anything in August. I miss it. I find that only in that journal are the true stories told. I find in that journal I am set free with my narratives and descriptions. No one to offend, no judgment turned my way, and stark honesty.

I found a fabulous orchard up in the far reaches of Indiana. Apple Hill Orchard. It is so far off the beaten path I never would have found it if it weren't for the golf course that is next door. I bought apples so beautiful I should take a picture of them to prove it. And peaches....oh how I love peaches. Next time I will bring my camera.

Joe and I went to the Botanical Conservatory for the last installment of the Wired for Sound concert series. A band from Louisiana called Buckwheat Zydeco performed. My favorite beer was served, Blue Moon, and the crowd was large and diverse. Children and bikers all grooved to the music. Too bad I just found out about this wonderful series of events!!

Tomorrow I may go to Shipshewana for the Flea Market.

I was on the trail that practically goes around FW yesterday when a train blocked the path back to the parking area. I, and about 15 other stranded runners, bikers and walkers waited it out. 40 minutes!! Our only entertainment was a very impatient moped rider who tried to walk his bike along side the train. He almost did not make it, finally deciding to slide down the embankment with the bike and ride the path up to where all of us were watching.

I was chatting with a very nice woman who is training for the Hilly Hundred to be held next month in Bloomington. 50 miles one day, 50 the next. Sleep over in a school or, or if you bring your tent, outside under the stars.

I am so tempted! Even though I have not been on a bike in over a year.

I love a challenge.

Saturday, September 02, 2006


Yesterday was a very difficult day to get through. I have to just hang on and trust that a Higher Power is at work behind the scenes. My daughter has a lot of people praying for her, including my Mom, who has the ear of God.

My Brother in Law has tried to help her out. They live in Louisville (as does one of my brothers, and her father!!)He owns some storage areas and was going to give her one! She kept him waiting all day, not returning phone calls etc. He also has a house for her to rent.......but, she does not a job, they have only $125 at this point (she has gone through over $1600 this month and maxed out a $600 limit credit card).....and he is concerned about her ability to pay rent, deposit, and not stiff his best friend who is a "slum lord" (which we affectionately once referred to my BIL when they were partners in that business).

Not being able to help myself, I gave her advice (as I always do, I am her Mom after all). Negotiate with BIL. She (supposably) has a job lined up with TGI Friday's, give him the start date and when she will finish her training and how much she expects to make. Tell him she will need X amount to live (food cigs etc) and will turn over the rest to him until she is past training and the tips are coming in...then work out how much she will owe to get square with him. Even offer to work off the amount he will not doubt lend her to get her in the house. She can baby sit. She can answer phones at his office, she can run errands for him, she can do a million things to work it out with him. He is her UNCLE, he wants to help!!

As of last night, she had alienated him.

I understand that she is stressed out beyond belief, because of the constant barrage of frantic phone calls I am receiving. I also understand that in this new union she is the leader.

That is trouble right there.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Old Dog, New Tricks

I've been very stressed out as of late with the break-up of my daughter and her fiancee. Why? Because for four blissful years, someone else was taking care of her instead of me! Now, it's as if she is back on my payroll!

My greatest life lessons have been the ones that hurt the worst. The one where I had to pick myself off the floor when the realization hit that I had destroyed my whole future. Life was going to continue whether I liked it or not. Life lesson learned, do not even give a hint, nor put yourself in the position of appearing to cheat on someone you love.

I learned, live by the sword, die by the sword.

I learned if you are running a scam, not matter how small in comparison with all the other scams going on around you, even if you did not get caught with that particular one, yet accused of an unrelated scam......that is just karma. Life lesson...stealing is stealing and God does not like it.

I learned that if you goof around in school and flunk a bunch of classes when you are young....the day comes when you have to pay the piper and take those classes over!! Life is a lot harder when you are working a 40 hour week and going to night school.

I once learned the pain is not in dying, but in living. Life not drink and drive.

I could continue, the list is long and I am certain everyone has a similar list. The point is, I learned from the adversity, the pain, the struggle. I became stronger and more resilient, self-reliant.

With my daughter,I want to run in and fix everything. Therefore, I have given her a lifetime of just counting on me to right her wrongs, pick her up and dust her off as if she were a four year old on the school playground.

I must stop for both our sakes. She has to realize the power within to fix her own misfortunes. Her own woes. Her own predicaments.

She may be homeless tonight because she blew all the money I gave her last week for a new apartment.

The Bank of Mary is closed.

I know in my heart of heart she will be fine. She will reach inside of herself and figure things out.

But, my heart feels like it is in a vise.