Friday, September 01, 2006

Old Dog, New Tricks

I've been very stressed out as of late with the break-up of my daughter and her fiancee. Why? Because for four blissful years, someone else was taking care of her instead of me! Now, it's as if she is back on my payroll!

My greatest life lessons have been the ones that hurt the worst. The one where I had to pick myself off the floor when the realization hit that I had destroyed my whole future. Life was going to continue whether I liked it or not. Life lesson learned, do not even give a hint, nor put yourself in the position of appearing to cheat on someone you love.

I learned, live by the sword, die by the sword.

I learned if you are running a scam, not matter how small in comparison with all the other scams going on around you, even if you did not get caught with that particular one, yet accused of an unrelated scam......that is just karma. Life lesson...stealing is stealing and God does not like it.

I learned that if you goof around in school and flunk a bunch of classes when you are young....the day comes when you have to pay the piper and take those classes over!! Life is a lot harder when you are working a 40 hour week and going to night school.

I once learned the pain is not in dying, but in living. Life not drink and drive.

I could continue, the list is long and I am certain everyone has a similar list. The point is, I learned from the adversity, the pain, the struggle. I became stronger and more resilient, self-reliant.

With my daughter,I want to run in and fix everything. Therefore, I have given her a lifetime of just counting on me to right her wrongs, pick her up and dust her off as if she were a four year old on the school playground.

I must stop for both our sakes. She has to realize the power within to fix her own misfortunes. Her own woes. Her own predicaments.

She may be homeless tonight because she blew all the money I gave her last week for a new apartment.

The Bank of Mary is closed.

I know in my heart of heart she will be fine. She will reach inside of herself and figure things out.

But, my heart feels like it is in a vise.


Cynthia said...

I think our kid's hurts are worse on us than our own. Y'all are all in my thoughts and prayers.

trying2hide said...

I feel ya.
'specially that college thing.
Nothing like being 39 and in college