LIBERATED

It was the final months of 2001 when my then boss (who was a big old Bear we called Biggie G and/or Coochie and/or Pockets depending on how we were feeling,unusually it was Cooch)(now that was a boss!!) called me back to the office for an important meeting!

We handed over our beepers and in return had placed in our hands cell phones!

Cell Phones!!

We had only been begging for years to have this ultra fast link to customers, our voice mail, to each other(!) and our bosses (Ahhh, rethink this!) alternative to the dreaded beeper going off with Cooch's number and 911 snuggled tightly behind it, maybe four or five times. The agony of driving around in a panic looking for a pay phone (remember those) to call, using your calling card which was an extremely long 10 or 127 string of numbers only to have his phone ring busy. And busy and busy. Voice mail hell.

Ah, the coveted cell phone. The link to humanity.

Years later and as many models (Gosh I hated that Nextel thing that would go off and interrupt my stream of idle day dreams as I tooled down some God forsaken back country road, making me jump and swear uncontrollably) I now find myself Cellphoneless.

Why?

Because Joe dropped his in a puddle of water and needed one pronto.

Why didn't we just go out and purchase him another? Good question! Could it be that he did indeed get a new cell phone last summer and extended his contract - only to destroy that phone (I think it was smashed when it flew off the top of his vehicle and run over) and was doomed to purchase the rattiest cheapest phone available from the store that day. Only he hated that phone! No one understood him. He would call and the first thing out of your mouth after he began talking and then it was your turn to respond was "What?" or "Huh?..........". So I bought him a new phone on fathers day and that is the phone that drowned in the puddle several weeks ago.

And his company is going to supply him with a Blackberry. We just don't know when. Could be today, maybe tomorrow, and hell maybe next month. Gosh, I hope it is not next year. So he took my SIM card out replacing it with his and thus I am liberated.

At first it did not feel that way. It took me a couple of days to realize I was not going to have it returned swiftly and I just accepted it, called my family and let them know what was going on.

As the days slowly turned into weeks - I find I am hardly missing my little friend any more. I made a trip to Nashville on the sly last week and left the guilt behind! I did not have to pick up the phone, explain I was in Nashville and then explain why! It was so cool! I just did it!

I did not realize what a ball and chain that portable link to the world really is.

Reign of Terror

She is an overbearing piece of work. And I refuse to allow her to get under my skin - at least no more than she already has. Thank God she is off to Florida for a vacation, when she mentioned in a "sales training meeting" (i.e. "Sell the way I tell you to!") I commented, "Hurricane season.", to which she replies, "Doesn't bother me, I was in Florida when Katrina came through".

"Bitch!!" I though in my head, "You don't know hurricane until you are evacuated form a shelter as a Category 5 is tearing the roof off and being driven off to God Knows Where on a bus with semi hysterical people in 140 mile per hour winds as pieces of buildings are hurtled in the path in front of you! And then, you have to get off the bus and run like your life depends on it....." but, I only said it in my head.

Yesterday, she changed the schedule before leaving and did not contact anyone. I was lucky because one of the "twins" ("They're twins!!They look nothing alike!!" but after almost two months, they are beginning to resemble one another.) called me to come in early because poor Wilma did not come in at her assigned time, which had been changed.

Wilma was beside herself when she showed up at the pre-change time. She was so concerned about a second write up, this being her second time "late" due to a schedule change.

Have I mentioned the Wilma is about 75 years old and a little dynamo whom I love dearly.

If it wasn't so tragic and tearing up peoples lives, it would be funny. But it is not even amusing anymore.

Everyone please pray and send positive thoughts my way as I am in the second phase of the interview process of a really cool job!!