A day of several highlights begins with the trip to Kroger for batteries (because I was close to Kroger on my errands) and I pick up some Duracell’s that were advertised on the bin as 2/$9.00 and I had a $1.00 coupon! At the cash register they rang up much higher. I brought it to the attention of the cashier who brought it to the attention of Price Police and I received my pack of AAA free!
I go to the Sanitation Dept close to the Kroger, which was why I ended up in these parts, to purchase my new required garbage bin. Last week, I rushed to the front door and peeked out when I heard the garbage truck making its way down my street. I had a mountain of garbage that had been put at the curb the night before, missed the previous week due to the ice storm, so two weeks worth were piled precariously at the end of my driveway. They had missed it (the reason I was checking is on another occasion they had missed it) and so I called to them from the ice encased harbor of my front porch.”Oh Mister, Oh Mister” finally he was able to hear me when the truck had finished its smashing mashing action, “Oh Sirs O, Sirs!! You missed my garbage. “We can’t pick it up because it’s not in the proper container!” He shouted back. “Oh please pick it up, it’s two weeks worth!!” “No can do, not allowed to pickup anything not in the proper container” (this is when you wish you were 25 years old and wearing that low cut cute pink sweater)
“Where can I get one of these containers…” “At the City Dept!!” and off they went on to collect other more law abiding citizen’s garbage. I couldn't be angry with them, because I knew they were only doing their jobs and I had caught wind of this new injunction against unruly garbage receptacles when I had voted in late October. The cost of these new bins was mentioned and it made my eyes blink.
My plan was to steal the neighbor’s bin, the guy who has his house on the market for the past six months, since they had the shouting match in front of their house last summer. Well, that was the break up, except for the several times she would come back and continue with the shouting match. It was hard to believe he continued to live in the house, the curtains pulled shut, the shades down tight. He must have rolled the car into his garage under the shadow of night, and left before the first rays of sun lightened our street and I am certain he mowed his lawn with an electric mower under the full moon. He was a quiet dude, in sharp contrast to his wife who was loud and had a yappy little dog who poo pooed on my lawn. But, when I scoped it out, under the wing of a new realtor, the yard has been meticulously groomed and the bin removed from the side of the house (along with the little red wagon I also coveted and was hoping they had a yard sale. Hell, I never saw them move out!)
So, I go into the City Sanitation Dept and plunk down my blood money and ask the lady if there is anyway I can receive my container before the Wednesday pick up because if not, then I will have four weeks of garbage accumulated and it’s smelly. “Not as smelly as it would be in the summer!” she laughed.
It would not fit in my car, so we did not even try. They would deliver it and she waved at a stack of orders (obviously I was not the only garbage container offender in the city) at least two inches tall!
Imagine my surprise when I arrived home around 7pm after having a nice dinner with my pal C. on the river because it felt like spring today and there was my new beautiful bin.
Yay! Who would have thought a garbage bin could bring joy.