Saturday, October 10, 2009

Break it to me Gently - Part III

Today I was called into the back of the office - again - and told that one of the area VP's, the head bitch of the Retail Department in this area, had entered our Biscuit Bucket and "observed". One of the things she "observed" was that when I came out of the bathroom and squirted some hand lotion onto my raw chemically seared hands, I just sashayed off and did not "greet" her and Great Heaven to Betsy, did not try and sell her any hand lotion.

"Don't freak out" my Amazon manager told me, "But later she stated that she saw you again in the "clearance" area and once again you did not greet her or acknowledge her in any way."

"Great!" I thought to myself, "I'm going to get canned from the dag gone Biscuit Bucket."

Truth of the matter is I was selling my ass off all morning! I had it going with this particular display, which was 40% off. Anyone came near that display, I was on them and showing them "my favorite" thing, a basket that is the perfect size to put in a pie or a casserole dish. Dazzle everyone at those family gatherings or pot lucks!

Feature and benefit, baby. I sold about eight of them. I only had about two people who could resist me!

I had it going yesterday too. I sold the Hell out of our Halloween merchandise. No one could resist my powers yesterday. And today.

I am a selling machine.

But...always the big BUT....I can not do it for six straight hours. It's torture. People every where, blocking the aisles, lugging along babies in carriers, some people pissed off because the wait is 35 to 40 minutes, talking on cell phones, giving you the "I don't respond to sales people" cold stare as they brush by you ...

....(and I hum the Rolling Stones song in my head at these moments...

Who would believe you were a beauty indeed
When the days get shorter and the nights get long
Lie awake when the rain comes
Nobody will know, when you're old
When you're old, nobody will know
that you was a beauty, a sweet sweet beauty
A sweet sweet booty, but stone stone cold) ..........

Because 9.9999 out of 10 they are a young woman who sneers at you.

Because I do not talk to everybody. I just can not. Will not. I do not have the emotional energy.

Anyway. This comes after another set back last week when another VP came into the store (are they any other Biscuit Buckets in the area!!) and was not "greeted" for 30 minutes. The manager on duty took me aside that day and began his spiel to me, "You have great potential........." The kiss of death when someone begins a "pep talk" that way.

Man, Retail sales is not Rocket science! It's harder!

(P.S. we have been breaking sales records and setting new ones for the area. You'd think they would have something positive to say, wouldn't you?)


Chris said...

I've been on your blog for 10 minutes and NO ONE has greeted me! What's with this place? HEADS WILL ROLL!!!!


Nelle said...

This is why I hated working retail! I worked for Macy's for several years and it was the same thing. They had secret shoppers. One Christmas season we broke records and after working like ten hours I was told I was not enthusiastic enough. I actually laughed. Our store manager was so hard on us and retail does not pay well. I am one of those shoppers who doesn't need a greeting...just let me browse and I will find plenty to buy on my own! Sorry that you are having to endure this and keeping fingers crossed for something more up your alley. By the way the Barrel place by us has waits of an hour or longer and I stopped going because often the food was not good. I did enjoy shopping there though.

Lisa :-] said...

This is why I had to get my own business. I may not be making any money, but at least I don't have to endure the "big brother" bullshit of working for a big company. Yes...being your own boss has some distinct perks...

Cynthia said...

My retail job requires that I speak with literally everyone who comes in our store. I'm at a desk situated between the doors and the merchandise. At the end of an eight hour shift, I'm exhausted,craving silence and solitude, and barely able to manage civility, much less charm. Retail is damn hard work, even if your feet don't hurt at the end of every day.