Saturday, October 24, 2009

Break it to me gently - The End

Part IV

After four interviews and spending $25 at Fed-Ex Kinko's, putting together a killer proposal, day dreaming for two and a half months, mentally putting together sales proposals for partnership solicitation for the children's center, making a list of the organizations I would join and the publications I would subscribe to, putting together my resignation letter to HeatherBeThyName and visualizing her begging me to stay ...after asking my Mother to have her prayer circle pray for me(!) and even taking a talisman with me the last two meeting. After having three "off the record" interview encounters at the Biscuit Bucket...I did not get the job.

Because it would not be doing me a favour to offer me a position when I had minimal exposure to managing a Mall. The learning curve is too large, too something or another (I was zoned out at this time realizing I was OUT) and would I consider taking the Assistant job.

Certainly. I had also contemplated this offer. It had to pay better than slightly above minimum wage at less than 30 hours a week.

I could be Robin to her Batman.

I should have realized that I was too - overqualified - for the second banana job. Under experienced for the first, too much for the second.

But, in some half assed way they offered it to me. That was last week. Last Monday. Almost two weeks ago. I had to "interview" with the girl/woman they gave the job to to make certain we jelled. ("The temp we have really wants the job and I told her to go back to school! That she would have plenty of opportunities in time.")She was to email him and let him know we hit it off okay.

Still, nothing from him.

I call - "I've been out of town, as you know, and have your paperwork her in front of me. I will get it together and hand it over to HR by tomorrow or the next day."

"OK, I will not panic until Wednesday after noon."

He laughs.

It's Saturday afternoon and I have not heard from them. Hope evaporates and I have not ever known the depths of depression and frustration as I feel now. Calling him again is out of the question.

It feels like ashes in my mouth. I never knew what that meant before, but I feel like I have ashes in my mouth.

What a terrible place this is to be. Maybe they will call. I feel like the teenage girl sitting by the telephone waiting for the call that never comes.


sunflowerkat321 said...

I'm so sorry Mary. I can imagine how disappointed you are feeling. I know you'll bounce back...full force. I'm sure you know that too, even if it doesn't feel that way right now. Hang in there.


Lisa :-] said...

This is so so SO why I hate hate HATE looking for a job. I know exactly how you feel. After all, I basically spent SEVEN YEARS looking for a job. They were, bar none, the WORST seven years of my life.

Then I started my own business.

Then I bought a restaurant.

Sure, life is not all that easy now, but one thing I know: I DO NOT have to get up tomorrow and go look for a job. That in itself makes it worth the troubles. :D

Cynthia said...

Mary, I'm so sorry. Job hunting, especially in this economy, is one of the levels of hell that Dante forgot.

Robbie said...

Sheesh!! I can't believe the crap they are putting you through. I'm sorry! It's just not right. Perhaps one consolation is that perhaps one day they will have a similar experience and learn that what they are doing is so wrong. Another consolation is that perhaps working for someone who operates this way would not be a good situation. Even though the retail hell you are going through might not be a good situation, it's the devil you know. The ones you don't can really be hell!

Lulu LaBonne said...

Going through this myself sweetheart - shit isn't it?

Thinking of you though and willing good things

Nelle said...

I am so very sorry that you had to endure this. I try to think that all interviews prepare us for future ones. More jobs are becoming available here and I hope there will be some other opporunities there soon. You deserve so much more.