I reminisce about the sleep of my childhood. Those nights that began with such difficulty not wanting to end an adventurous action packed day. Tossing and turning punching the pillow creating day dreams that would ease into sleep, my boyfriend would be Sugarfoot or Dr. Kildare. They would be older but would see the potential blossom of sultriness that lay ahead.
Then the sleep of the dead.
I can't buy a night of uninterrupted sleep. Well, maybe I could, maybe I should.
Awake at 2am and then the worrying begins....
My parents
My daughter
Finances
Job situation
IRS
Cancer
My husbands job situation ...........
Sleep returns in time but is once again interrupted around 4am and the worries and anxieties begin again.
Where are those "day dreams" that transfer to night dreams? I can't conjure up a one.
Where is Sugarfoot when you need him?
8 comments:
And here I thought I was the only one who created those day dreams to put me to sleep. I'm having trouble conjuring them up now too. It really sucks because I keep waking during the night too. Lately it's not anxiety though. I think it's a noisey neighbor. Whatever it is, I wish it would stop.
I used to do the same damn thing, but now the day dreams turn into the worries. Where are those heroes and adventures? You let me know when you find them.
I don't who Sugarfoot is, but my boyfriends were Hoss or Adam Cartwright, depending on my mood and the latest episode. Maybe Bobby Sherman. Ben Cartwright. Sometimes Robin, the Boy Wonder...
What is wrong with me?
I've noticed too that sleep-inducing 'daydreams' are further from my grasp. I think that as we get older, it's just harder for us to escape reality .
If you think about it, those daydreams were really fantasies based on glimmers of hope; what we wanted for our future selves ~ love, comfort, security; beauty, adventure, wealth ~ whatever. The more of our lives we live, the more those dreams have already been either realized or denied. We know and accept the limits of our true selves and potential now ~ it takes more imagination to convince us of magic in store. All that, and we worry more.
Of course, there's still magic in moonlight and music. And wine. Don't forget the wine.
And for everything else, there's Ambien....zzzzz ;)
This is the story of my nights too. It is a happy day when i have slept through the previous night. Maybe we should set up an insomniac's chat room. If only i knew how.
I don't often wake up and worry...I just wake up. Every hour and a half or so. Like clockwork. It's hormones (or lack thereof...)
I just try to do something creative with my awake time. The other night, I padded out of bed to check out the progress of the lunar eclipse.
My best nights are when I dream in "TV show" mode. All I have to do is watch an old Star Trek or M*A*S*H rerun and I have enough "dream fodder" to last an entire night :D
I agree with Lisa "it's hormones or the lack thereof". When I had a patch my solid sleep returned but now that they revoked it, I wake about 4a.m. (often having to use the bathroom) and rarely go back to sleep before 6. Oh to be young and not know the things we now know...that cause the worry and cycle of sleeplessness. I do find that herbal tea helps. No caffeine after 5 p.m. either. Or per chance to sleep.........
oh, i feel your pain. i seldom sleep through the night. i used to day dream about Bobby MacIntosh who lived down the street and Little Joe Cartwright and .... oh god, i hate to admit it...Ricky Nelson. now i resort to decorating rooms in my head. soft beige living rooms, Moroccan red kitchens, wine colored bedrooms. HGTV non stop in my brainpan once my head hits the pillow. it's when i wake a few hours later that the worrying commences.
I am the same non-sleeper. BUT for the last two nights I have actually had dreams I can remember which must mean I went to sleep. In one, Chipper Jones moved into a cabin in our woods and went into a deep funk, so I guess that means the Braves are out of it. Last night was a nightmare about our new tenants, much like that movie with...oh, I can't remember his or her names....in my dream they had 4 or 5 extra people, a whole bunch of mean dogs, boxes and boxes of moonshine whiskey and a Beverly Hillbillies truck full of broken furniture they were moving in.
Still, funky dreams are better than the worrying which I am Queen Of. I'm with meno on the idea of an insomniacs chat room.
I can't hold onto a a sleep inducing day-dream either, although right after seeing the new Die Hard movie I thought I might be able to keep Bruce Willis in mind for a while. Maybe I need to see it again.
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