Wednesday, May 31, 2006


Last week my daughter called and informed me that S. had proposed to her and she had accepted. I was overjoyed and began crying! I am so happy for her. Thrilled for her.

Afterwards the moment, I immediately began planning the wedding.

I have to butt out. This is her wedding and they will do it the way HE wants.

I am annoyed beyond words. He is an introvert and does not want a large wedding. She is succumbing to his wishes. If he had his way, they would just slip away and have a civil ceremony. I have a large family and tons and tons of friends I want to share this joy with. IT is becoming apparent this is not going to be a typical Irish wedding.

To say I am disappointed would be an understatement. I want to get him alone in a room for a few minutes and tell him exactly how it is going to be, but I love my daughter and I want her to be happy. And if making him happy makes her happy....then so be it. I don't have to like it. Yet, I must accept it.

I wrote out a long list of things she needs to be doing.

He freaked out at the length of the list. "This is exactly what he did not want." She informed me.

What?? No photographer? No flowers? No invitations? No guest list? No caterer? No wedding dress?

I am 300 miles away and it will be impossible for me to help out with details. She can not put it off and think it will all come together the week before.

How do you survive this?


Robbie said...

As hard as it may be you've got to let go and allow them to have their wedding. Perhaps, you could throw a large Irish bash for the bridal shower. He's not invited to those. Right?


Paul said...

Yikes, Mary, I'd love to share the joy with you, but this worries me. One partner bending over backwards to please the other is no way to start a life together. It is THEIR wedding...not HIS.

It doesn't have to be the Pope and the Saw Doctors, but Jayz, the young lady deserves a celebration.

Cynthia said...

My husband didn't want a large wedding either, and we nearly eloped, but I just had to tell my parents. We ended up with a nice, small church wedding with a photographer, a proper wedding dress, beautiful flowers and a reception at my parents' house. We did all the planning, arranging and purchasing in two weeks. Luck was definitely on our side, but it can be done. Paul has an excellent point though.

Lisa :-] said...

We have a saying in my family. "Dad doesn't like spaghetti." When we were kids, when we would ask for spaghetti for dinner, this is the response we got from my mother. As it turned out, Mom didn't like spaghetti...but she couldn't let her preferences be known, so she used Dad as her "out."

Maybe Bridget doesn't really want a huge blow-out, either....?

desperately seeking sanity said...

YOU SAID: I have a large family and tons and tons of friends I want to share this joy with. IT is becoming apparent this is not going to be a typical Irish wedding.

Sorry but it`s her wedding. And maybe she DOES want a smaller wedding. I`m just planning mine, and sometimes smaller is BETTER. We can all visit and hang out. I really thought the wedding is supposed to be about the union of the bride and groom.

I like the suggestion of you throwing a party! Then you could invite and plan, and do all that stuff to your liking.

Try to enjoy the day, and please, try not to add anymore stress to your daughter`s life. It`s stressful enough during the planning times.

All the best

V said...

I`m with Paul. It can`t be a one-sided celebration. I think your daughter may be reaching out to you pretty soon.