It seems that if I wait for inspiration to whack me on the side of the head, I will never write another entry again. I recall how I use to be bubbling over with subjects and could hardly contain myself. Everything sparked a memory or a thought process that resulted in a theme! It was once so simple to sit in front of the key board and look at the blank screen, stretch my fingers and just begin! Once time I use to write them out in long hand, then edit them into the blog. That was long ago, when our entries were limited to 2500 words and no spell check. Brevity was the word of the day back then.
This journal I used for the day to day dull stuff. As well as the drawing board and editing tool for the other blog. It has evolved into something different now and I sorely miss the carefree days of random thoughts and observations.
It was so easy when there was no one to write for other than myself.
I have been in a funk since the trip to Florida. Even the announcement of Bridget's engagement has not pulled me out, but the reverse has occurred and I am plunged even further into the dark.
I know that I can figure out most of what is causing my gloom. Someone very close to me is going through a terrible divorce after many years of marriage. Many years. Its ridiculous. She is loosing everything. Her home, her husband, her comfort. All because he thinks he is in love with someone else.
It just sickens me.
I am in a funk because I look at the calendar and see that I have crossed the one year mark of living in this part of the world. And I miss home more and more with each passing day. It is as if I refuse to be adaptable.
I hate people on bikes hogging the River Walk Way trails. Since I wear a MP3 player I do not hear them until they are rushing past me. I usually give a little yell the first time, as they can startle the hell out of you. It makes me long for the cross country paths of the open fields and hills of my favorite park....back home.
I feel that I am crossing that line that takes you from cool adult to eccentric old fuddy duddy. The other day, Matt (young stud at work) asked if I had any extra change. I opened my purse and dug out the change purse that came with the bag! I unzipped it open and dumped out the dimes and nickels and scarce quarters and began handing it over.
I felt like Grandma tipping the bag boy at Krogers!
And my stupid toe! The one that I banged up badly during the 10 mile run. That nail is going to bail on me. And I am so squeamish that I can't stand it. So, I am wearing my Crock's with ankle socks....trying to hold on the toe nail until I can take it.
How old Florida Native is that???!!
And since I am on a roll....because I am depressed I don't do much of anything. The trails are full of bicycle bullies, so I pout and rarely go. Therefore, I have gained at least 20 pounds since last summer.
I'm an over weight, sock sandal wearing, penny pinching old fart.
There I feel better.