Friday, June 09, 2006

FUNKADELIC

It seems that if I wait for inspiration to whack me on the side of the head, I will never write another entry again. I recall how I use to be bubbling over with subjects and could hardly contain myself. Everything sparked a memory or a thought process that resulted in a theme! It was once so simple to sit in front of the key board and look at the blank screen, stretch my fingers and just begin! Once time I use to write them out in long hand, then edit them into the blog. That was long ago, when our entries were limited to 2500 words and no spell check. Brevity was the word of the day back then.

This journal I used for the day to day dull stuff. As well as the drawing board and editing tool for the other blog. It has evolved into something different now and I sorely miss the carefree days of random thoughts and observations.

It was so easy when there was no one to write for other than myself.

I have been in a funk since the trip to Florida. Even the announcement of Bridget's engagement has not pulled me out, but the reverse has occurred and I am plunged even further into the dark.

I know that I can figure out most of what is causing my gloom. Someone very close to me is going through a terrible divorce after many years of marriage. Many years. Its ridiculous. She is loosing everything. Her home, her husband, her comfort. All because he thinks he is in love with someone else.

It just sickens me.

I am in a funk because I look at the calendar and see that I have crossed the one year mark of living in this part of the world. And I miss home more and more with each passing day. It is as if I refuse to be adaptable.

I hate people on bikes hogging the River Walk Way trails. Since I wear a MP3 player I do not hear them until they are rushing past me. I usually give a little yell the first time, as they can startle the hell out of you. It makes me long for the cross country paths of the open fields and hills of my favorite park....back home.

I feel that I am crossing that line that takes you from cool adult to eccentric old fuddy duddy. The other day, Matt (young stud at work) asked if I had any extra change. I opened my purse and dug out the change purse that came with the bag! I unzipped it open and dumped out the dimes and nickels and scarce quarters and began handing it over.

I felt like Grandma tipping the bag boy at Krogers!

And my stupid toe! The one that I banged up badly during the 10 mile run. That nail is going to bail on me. And I am so squeamish that I can't stand it. So, I am wearing my Crock's with ankle socks....trying to hold on the toe nail until I can take it.

How old Florida Native is that???!!

And since I am on a roll....because I am depressed I don't do much of anything. The trails are full of bicycle bullies, so I pout and rarely go. Therefore, I have gained at least 20 pounds since last summer.

I'm an over weight, sock sandal wearing, penny pinching old fart.

There I feel better.

5 comments:

Cynthia said...

Oh, Mary, I think it's the universe, not just you. Those vibes are down here. I actually bought a coin purse this year because I got sick of the loose chain in the bottom of my purse. I'm still occasionally using a cane, and I grump when the car next to me has the music too darn loud. I think I might have been cool for five minutes in my lifetime, but I'm just not ready for old farthood, and I'm already there.

Lisa :-] said...

Quite the scary litany. And surprising, coming from you! You have traditionally be the most consistently upbeat blogger among my list of journal "friends..."

I know you'll bounce right back from this...it seems you always do. But I'll give you a hug ((((mary)))) anyway.

Robbie said...

"I'm an over weight, sock sandal wearing, penny pinching old fart."

Oh Mary! I think this might be of pandemic proportions. It's spread out to the West Coast too. Should we call the CDC?

Hope you feel better soon. Hey! Show us a picture of those Crocs, will ya? I have never heard of them until today. I read an article about the company in "Fast Company" and now you mentioned them. :-)

unhinged said...

I sorely miss the carefree days of random thoughts and observations.

Yeah, me too. I still feel somewhat carefree and quirky, but my life has changed and I'm still trying to fit into it.

I am in a funk because I look at the calendar and see that I have crossed the one year mark of living in this part of the world. And I miss home more and more with each passing day. It is as if I refuse to be adaptable.

Here, I know exactly what you're talking about because until I made my mind up to find a place (here in LA) where I could be happy, I unconsciously refused to adapt. Some of that was divorce, relocation and new job syndrome, but I just felt so ... adrift, like I didn't fit in anywhere anymore.

Don't let these feelings get worse, Mary. Go see a professional. I did, and I'm sure doing so saved my life.

As for the Riverwalk trails ... have you been to that little park on Lake? (Well, actually Lake changes NAMES once you go past Maysville). Anyway, there's this little park where the Riverwalk begins and on the other side, where the water channel is, is another trail. Ken and I used to walk along those, but that was before they built the New Haven trails. Maybe that will be less used.

You could also go walk at the zoo. Just go by yourself. Mary Time, you time? Take it from me, it's to your benefit to try and find the positive. And when you do find just one little inkling of the positive, it's like a little of the weight is being taken off your shoulders.

LightYears2Venus said...

This is the most delightful entry. Forthright, honest, blunt. I loved it. It made me feel better, too!
*debbi*