It has been long enough for the shock to have worn off. Not completely, but enough so I am not overcome with hopelessness and anger. I suppose letting go is a variation of realizing you have no power over someone. And actually, you really do not want that type of power after they reach the age of 18.
Then they are on their own. Even if this means you stand on the sidelines and are only allowed to cheerlead, pick up broken pieces, lend money, provide a safe house when needed, and a car, feeling as if you are going to have a heart attack or a seizure from frustration.
She did it right after I bought the wedding dress.
It could have been worse, she could have refused to enter the church. The scene could have been straight out of The Graduate...(hmmmmm maybe not).
Anyway, she decided he was not the one and some other guy she met interested her. I am still flabbergasted. So is S.
It has taken me quite awhile to accept it.
That one day in the dress shop is all I am going to get for the time being. That was a great day, and I will cherish that for a long time.
I have been so upset about everything that I have not seen her since that day in June! Fathers Day. We took her Dad out for dinner, there was a violent thunder storm and the computers got knocked out and I could not pay with a credit card so he paid the bill. More memories from that great day.
I will see her this Sunday. I do not want to meet the new boyfriend. I was very attached to S. (four years for God's sake) and he was part of the family. But there is no way around it, I think.
Life is a Bitch sometimes, isn't it?
1 comment:
Sending you a big hug, my friend. I can feel the pain. Try to love her and trust that she's living life on her terms and be proud that you have created a daughter with such strength of character. Better for her to decide now then one, two, or twenty years down the road.
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