Reason Number Three - The Crime Report
I imagine that every place has its own style when it comes to crime reporting in the local newspaper. Every town has its own flair describing the activities that society deems criminal. My own small home town approach is cut and dry. We have a weekly that everyone, and I mean everyone, pours over the Police Reports to see if any familiar names are there to tisk tisk over. The specialties in central Kentucky usually revolve around marijuana fields being discovered and tractors being stolen in the dead of night. And of course, the occasional shooting at each other. Usually politicians running for the sheriffs office.
But nothing compares with the Daily Dirt Dished out in Key West.
From the September 28th issue……..
“A man who officers reported pulling over about 1 a. m. Wednesday for not having lights on his bicycle got in more trouble when cocaine reportedly was spotted through his fishnet pockets. D.G. tried to eat the drugs, and one of the officers was hurt trying to stop him…….D.G. was booked for having no lights on his bike, battering a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest with violence, possessing cocaine and tapering with evidence.”
There was a second one, not as colorful, but still………
“A woman was arrested on battery charges after she allegedly ran into the Fraternal Order of the Orioles and assaulted another woman according to police reports.”
There is something both alluring and romantic about living in an area where you have to worry about encounters with unlit bicycles and liquored up women.
Both are very dangerous. If only the rest of the world was so dangerous.