New Years Resolution - 2010 Style

While reading Elizabeth Berg's book last night I ran across a passage that has attached itself to my mind and will not leave.

And I am paraphrasing, "A Navajo Indian told his Grandson, 'Inside of me I have two wolves fighting. One is the bad wolf, lazy, inconsiderate, mean and without compassion. The other wolf is good, generous, willing and kind'. The grandson asks, 'Which wolf wins?' and the Grand Father replies, 'The one I feed.'"

This is my hope, that when ever I find myself in a situation I will try to ask myself, "which wolf am I feeding?"

Far too many times I am feeding the wrong wolf these days.

This must change.

I carry around a small notebook to write down the GiST observations and feelings I encounter on a daily basis. I find that I am searching out the good. Sometimes it is difficult and I have to reach really deep to overcome the depression I am immersed in. But, I am prevailing and on certain days I am happy. And because I am on the look out for such small and often overlooked events, I am climbing out of this dark stupid hole I have stepped in.

Happy New Year one and All.

December 30th

GiST 34/365

1) Next day mail delivery service from USPO (even though they piss me off most the time). I refuse to go to the small PO in Tiny Town because of Lurch, the counter person, who is very impersonal (mean) and charges me more for 1st class shipping than other PO's.

2) The most fashionable thing I own, Kate Spade sun glasses, given to me by my style conscious husband long ago (and have not lost nor have had stolen in over two years!) (lost a beautiful Channel pair on one of the cruises by leaving on the lounge chair - I'll never hear the end of it)

3) Finding $1 in change (two quarters, one dime, one nickle and 35 pennies) in the car, under the seat, fallen between the bucket seats and under the floor mats, to pay my fine at library so I can use the computer (mine is still very sick from Internet Security 2010 virus).

4) Out of the corner of my eye, as I was driving to Hop-town, I saw a horse in a field, laying on its back, rubbing itself in the grass with its legs straight up in the air! As I turned to get a really good look, he jumped up and began running joyfully across the field.

5) Finding a box in the cluttered bedroom that contained my favorite pens! A gold Cross pen presented to me as a Christmas present when I worked at WU. A wonderfully balanced pen that I received as a "major award" from the Dale Carnagie public speaking class (I was voted as the most moving speech that day). And the Schaeffer pen that Joe gave me as a surprise! I knew they were missing, and finding them was a burst of my own joy! If the bedroom had been a field, I would have jumped up and ran.

December 29th

Grace in Small Things 33rd edition of 365

1) Deciding that looking for "the cutest baby of the day" contest that I will hold in my head and announce the winner only to me is a perfect way to make the creeping crawling time pass by now that the Christmas rush/push is over and things are almost back to the vaguely boring routine at Biscuit Bucket.

2) Finding a beautifully designed simple white bowl at Goodwill for 59 cents.

3) How delicious it is to read a Eliz. Berg novel.

4) My blue and white Vitoria Secret bath robe that is a hundred years old and so comfy.

5) Laying on the couch with my legs entwined with my husbands and nodding out for a few minutes during the ESPN coverage of the UK game. He nodded out too, (we won by a million points).

Bonus # 6 - Having an anonymous comment on my "Love affair with Candy" entry about Blue Monday candy bars.

December 28th

Grace in Small Things 32/365

1) Christmas presents to yourself. Who knows you better?

2) Dionis Vanilla Bean hand lotion and Lip Balm (yup, that was my present)

3) Rita's wild plan for a business venture of which I am the partner (sounds like fun and a winner...time will tell)

4) A blissfully wonderful shower with lots of fragrant soap and foamy shampoo.

5) Finding a "fix" for my computer virus that seems to have at the very least, has me back on line at home. Thank you Public library and all the free diagnostic and clean up programs out there. (still needs a lot of work, but wiping out my hard drive is a distant horror....)

Long Time Comin' - (CS&N)

Grace in Small Things Deluxe version

Brought to you courtesy of the Public Library

December 23rd 27/365

1) Downloading Swing Music

2) My new bra! Makes me look like I have lost weight.

3) Phone call and e-mail regarding Mall position (still alive)

4) New make up from Kohls

5) My computer catching the Internet Security 2010 virus and shutting down. Making me rethink the amount of time I spend on the computer. Maybe not having a computer stealing my time is a good thing.
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GiST
December 24th 28/365
1) Cindy's cookies at work! Great since I forgot my lunch.

2) But wait! The break room is full of goodies too! Sugar overload. How sweet it is.

3) Beginning to clean out the storage unit in a fit of anger trying to locate the Mack Daddy virus killer software.

4) Behold! Finding the cache of CD's titled Jazz Masters. Wow! Some good listening there.

5) The fat baby dressed up in the Santa outfit including black Santa booties and Santa hat. Too cute.

6) Bonus item - the wrist jingle bells. Loved them. Hate to retire them for the season.
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GiST December 25th 29/365

1) Watching The Christmas Story ......all day long!

2) Christmas with the Grand Kids.

3) Baby Nash dancing to "Put a Ring on It" - too funny. That kid's got the moves.

4) Listening to B.'s story about the true meaning of what's important and what's just stuff/b.s/irrelevant. Brought me to tears.

5) Being a very good designated driver.
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GiST December 26th 30/365

1) Realizing that I have gained remarkable stamina being around people.

2) Listening to Crosby Stills and Nash while rolling down the highway.

3) UK insignia's everywhere on their way to Nashville. Felt like home.

4) Watching old games from the 1996 championship team on the road to the NCAA title.

5) Being able to stay up until 3am!
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December 27th 31/365
1) What a gorgeous sunrise on (count them) third trip back to Central KY in five days (I must be mad)

2) My sister noticing I have lost weight (did not tell her it was the new bra!!)

3) Poinsettia drinks - yummy yummy. Cranberry and champagne.

4) Family memories. Each person tells a story they have written (does it surprise anyone that my family is an army of writers) about a family memory. It was wonderful.

5) Another group picture of the grand kids - making memories for them to pass on (in time)

6) Bonus GiST's. Sweet potato casserole. OMG. Double marshmallows this time.

Sometimes I cry, somtimes I fly like a bird - (Boz Scaggs)

December 23 GiST edition 26/365

1) My music on the MP3 makes the long (well short comparably) drive to Louisville easier

2) Seeing hills!!!!!!!! (did not realize how flat this area is. Not as flat as NE IN, but flat)

3) Seeing a bona fide SKY LINE!! (Ah Louisville how I miss you and your lit up cathedrals)

4) Christmas shopping with Bridget (good thing? Ha!!)

5) Schimpff's Confectionery in Jeff. (OMG!)

December 22

GiST 25/365

1) Joe scraping the frost off my car windshield for me in the morning.

2) Having health insurance and RX coverage.

3) Salvation Army bell ringers and having an extra buck to toss into the kettle.

4) Rita bringing treats to work including bourbon balls - yummy.

5) ESPN's coverage of the UK2K last night. It made me proud to be a Kentucky fan and knowing that all across this mighty USA hundreds of thousands of UK fans were feeling it with me.

December 21st

GiST 24/365

1) Waking up very early for some me time.

2) Washed dishes sitting in the drainer. Ah, all is well on the kitchen front.

3) Bag of sliced oranges.

4) Rediscovering Bit-O-Honey (hated as a kid. Love as an adult!)

5) Being told a joke by an old lady at work...."Two old ladies in church listening to the preacher go on and on. One leans over and whispers to the other, ""This lecture is so boring my butt has fallen asleep", "I know", she replied, "I heard it snore twice."

December 20th

GiST 23/365

1) Excellent nine hour day at work where everything was clicking and the three of us working together were in a groove. Had 3 one-thousand dollar hours back to back and missed the fourth by less than 70 bucks! Darn..

2) The thrill of expectation of a snow fall.

3) Finding the misplaced Disney Reward card. Found it right where I hid it months ago.

4) Christmas party at Golden Corral.

5) Having that moment where I realized I was happy and taking note of the glorious feeling.

December 19th

GiST 22/365

1) Opening the front door and there is the Three Legged Cat waiting to come in after an evening of romping with his "girl friend" (TLC is fixed, girl friend may or may not be a girl, but I suspect she is)

2) Finally being able to use my "Sleeping with Alan Jackson" sales pitch and having it work!!

3) A tall glass of water with lemon slices.

4) Rita bringing me an Angus Burger from Cosco for lunch. Obviously she thinks I need to be fattened up (smile inserted here).

5) Finishing Thirteen Moons by Charles Frasier. Definitely one of the three best books I have read this year. I read it slowly so to savor every word. There was something magical to this book. I read Cold Mountain over ten years ago and I remember sobbing at the end. I had read reviews about Thirteen Moons and how it was no Cold Mountain. I suppose it would be like Martha Mitchell's second book if she had ever followed up Gone With The Wind.

Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks

GiST 21/365

1) Being in possession of an ice scraper.

2) Smiling at the sight of two girls posing on the trunk of the huge pink elephant that sits at the cross roads.

3) Finding my candle making stuff in the storage shed! Making a candle and failing. Finding a video on You Tube and re-melting it on the stove (vs. the microwave) and better the second time but still a wick failure! Lesson learned - nothing is as easy as it looks.

4) Flipping the heat on in the house.

5) Missing Survivor last night because I had to work, but knowing I can watch it on the Internet later today (maybe tomorrow).

Lunch Box

Brought to you by {W}rite of Passage

(Written in fifteen minutes!)

Grammar School Lunches –

You must know,number one, the school was a two room Parochial school that taught maybe sixty students in eight grades located in the living quarters of the Nuns of Divine Providence. We had no cafeteria and we ate at our desks during most the school year. Weather permitting, we went outside. I vaguely remember picnic tables along the south end of the yard.....only vaguely.

Anyway. Lunch was an important affair when taking place on the playground. When allowed outside the four walls of formal education, it was a mass sprint to acquire the best spots the play ground had to offer. The best being, sitting in the shade under the sliding board. This was not typical namby-pamby sliding board, but the mother of all sliding boards. I can close my eyes and still see it, still feel its cold metal under my hands. It was 10 feet tall (at least!), made of solid iron, its steps pitted for traction and worn silver by the millions of trips us kids took to the top of the magical tower. You could see the entire grounds from atop.

But the best of times was when the weather turned very cold and icy, so cold that the ground was frozen and ice formed on the blacktop. We would polish the board with wax paper until it shone and was as slick as snot. Then we would carry buckets of water from the water fountain and toss it in front of the bottom of the slide making a hazardous path towards the merry-go-round (which was like a monstrous tilt –a-whirl top!).

You would climb the steps to the top, crouched on your haunches facing downwards waiting to be shoved with herculean effort by those behind you to descend down, hair flowing behind you, hats taking flight, a steak on the the greased death slide, hitting the child-made frozen path and steer your self by keeping hold of your knees, as far as you could go careful to avoid taking out a first grader or some goof ball not paying attention. Many a child’s life hung in a suspended balance as they failed to fall sideways before sliding, at breakneck speed, under the crushing jaws of the Merry-go-round! We would scream , shout and cheer as we ran towards the bone crushing monster and stopped it moments from smashing in the head or obliterating the bones of the greatest slide of them all. Or at least that day.

Lunch? Everyday, without fail, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich lovingly folded in wax paper accompanied by a tiny bag of Frito’s and two cookies.

Lunch was wolfed down and the cartons of milk tossed back quickly in anticipation of that precious hour of bone chilling, death defying, bone marrow crunching, dare devil and double dog dare playground time after lunch.

GiST #20

1) My knock-off Movado Museum watch in motion again.

2) Releasing the unmistakable aroma of Gain detergent as I unload the dryer.

3) The self-serve station at the post office to avoid standing in the long long long long and then long again line.

4) The V-6 in the Sonata, vvvvvvvvvroooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm

5) Remembering it's garbage day and getting the container to the road before the truck arrives (5amish!! Can you believe it???

Number 18 Number 18 Number 18

GiST

1) Coffee - the nectar of life - first thing in the morning.

2) Ability to remove myself, if only for just a few hours, with a short journey/adventure to parts unknown.

3) A pen that feels just right in my hand and writes with a smooth flair.

4) Small towns without even a four way stop.

5) An Amish buggy tearing down the two lane highway! I have not seen such a throw back sight since leaving Ft. Wayne over two years ago. I knew the Amish/Mennonites had settled around this West KY area, but I had yet to see them. They are a fearless people.

Number 17

Grace in Small Things 17/365

1) Awaking to the distant chords of The Nutcracker Suite playing from the television turned on in the living room and being overwhelmed with the image of taking Bridget, as a very young child, to the Louisville production every year.

2) Christmas lights glowing in the black darkness.

3) Joe ironing my shirt.

4) Bob's Old Timey peppermint candy.

5) The season finale of Dexter. Wow, never saw that coming, (though I should have).

Grace in Small Things

16/365

1) Being told by a second party how the first party brags about how wonderful/good you are!

2) Zac Brown Band.

3) Finding the perfect Christmas gift.

4) CBS Sunday Morning segment about Paul McCartney and the Beatles. (I'm a long time Beatle fan)

5) Joe bringing home a Courier Journal (Louisville's Pulitzer prize winning newspaper).

Number 15 - 350 to go!

Grace in Small Things

1) Small pocket notebooks

2) Honey made by local beekeepers.

3) My new friend Rita - Who has these little nervous tic's like Rodney Dangerfield

4) Joe coming home from a short trip to Central KY

5) My sonic toothbrush.

Grace in Small Things

14/365

1) Getting a paycheck every week! I use to get paid once a month! What a difference (in so many ways).

2) The scent of candles

3) The beautiful fleeting 4pm sun drenching the bedroom.

4) Babies with bows in their hair (little wisps of fine baby hair)

5) Vivid dreams starring friends from long ago.

Careful what you wish for

What seems like a long time ago, when I first "retired" from the Beverage Company I hoped that the next job I found would be less stressful.

I figured that I would take it easy for awhile. My father was very ill and I had been away from home for over two years and wanted to spend time with family. My Mom's 80th birthday party was planned for that summer and relatives from all over were coming in for the celebration. There was plenty of time "later" to look for a job.

I began to envision the career I would seek out. Less stressful meant I could leave it at the doorstep when I went home. I did not want my cell phone ringing 24/7 with problems I had to smooth over or find a way to resolve. I wanted a job where I could sleep soundly at night and not toss and turn until the sky began to lighten and soften from the blackest of night to the gray of a winter morn. I wanted to not bolt upright from a sound sleep when my subconscious remembered I forgot to download my orders the evening before because I got distracted. Or bolt upright from a sound sleep when I remember that today is the day I am suppose to turn in a lost equipment report which I have not even started. I wanted to not feel myself become worried senseless because I have upset a customer with some regulation that is outside my realm of authority and those higher up could care less. I wanted to leave behind forever the mini anxiety attacks being brought on by some Big Wig from Atlanta that was going to hop in my car and spend the day with me visiting the Bengal Camp. And on and on and on.

I wanted a job where I did not have to recall what I wore last week so that I would not wear the same thing twice to visit an account.

I rolled it over in my mind that wearing a uniform would be good. Very good. It would be heaven to not think about clothes!

And my wish came true. I iron my pastel button down oxford shirts and laugh at the absurdity of my never having worn much less owned such a shirt before. My apron with my name and lone star makes me ponder irony.

As I fall into bed and sleep soundly and without a single honest work related care in the world, as the frustrations of too much responsibility are replaced by the frustrations of ego...

As I wake at 330am in the morning after a deep six hours of sleep I also marvel at the power of the invisible hand coupled with the fickle finger of fate that can make a dream a reality.

This is Harder than it looks

GiST part 13 of 365

1) Pancakes with cherry preserves (more of the food theme)

2) E-mail from Gayle (hi G.!)with picture of childhood buddy.

3) Pumpkin spice flavored coffee

4) Making it home in time to see most of Survivor.

5) Finding a $5 bill!

12 of 365

Grace in Small Things

1) Lip gloss

2) Talking to Mom on the phone

3) Receiving first Christmas card

4) Having a nice conversation with an elderly lady in the line at the PO that made the 20 minute wait tolerable.

5) Chicken-n-Dumplings at work (there is a pattern of food stuff in my GIST's!!)

extra! Extra! UK beats UCONN in a thriller and I stayed awake for the whole thing!

GiST 11/365

1) For some crazy zen like reason, I enjoy ironing my cotton long sleeved shirts with the can of starch.

2) A pb&j for lunch

3) Reading an article on line about the lack of jobs and professionals taking retail jobs for the Christmas season and how the retail industry was remarkably improving because of it! Better customer service----hello.

4) A well deserved afternoon nap.

5) Fortune cookie "Your problem just became your stepping stone. Catch the moment."

Offical Kick Off of Write of Passage

Character.

Working with the general public all day long exposes you to the entire spectrum of personalities and character types. Serial shoppers , mean people, deformed people, challenged people, rude people, warm people, hyper people, people who allow their kids to run wild, people who are amused, people who are bored, people who just want to eat, people who just want to shop, people who want to eat and shop, people who hold purses for their wives , people who just hold purses , people who help their mates to the bathrooms, fat people, skinny people, people returning from cancer treatments at Vandy, people with no hair, people with too much hair, people with seeing eye dogs, people without an arm, people without sight, people without shame, people without compassion ,people who want candy, people who want pies, people who express gratitude, people who express impatience, people who want gift wrap, people who tell you how to do your job, people who are grateful you know how to do your job, people who want bows, people who want boxes, people who want an uncrushed box, people who want what is on the top of the highest shelf, people who like snowmen, people who are afraid of the weasel chasing the ball, people who look good in wraps, people who look short in wraps, people who ignore you, people who call you by name, people who smile, people who scowl , people who hum, people who talk to themselves, people who touch everything, people who bark at their children not to touch anything , people who look lost , people who are lost, people who rush to the bathroom , people who do not flush, people who line the commode seat with tissue paper and leave it behind, people who miss the trash can, people who refuse to touch the door plates and open with their elbows arms crooked like a doctor entering the OR , people who startle easily, people who enter the wrong bathroom, women who scream when seeing a man in the women’s bathroom, little boys in the women’s bathroom , sad looking little girls exiting the men’s bathroom, old folks on walkers, young folks in wheel chairs , broken arms in pink casts, broken legs in blue casts , crutches , canes, and XXXL “do you have anything larger” people, Tennessee orange , Alabama red , Florida orange and blue , Kentucky Blue, Austin Peay Red, Western Kentucky red, tall athletes, bus loads of retires looking for Horehound drops, basketball teams, volleyball teams, cheerleading teams, little league teams, coaches, People with books, people with newspapers , people with Bibles, people with brief cases , people with notebooks, people with lists , people in groups, people alone, people together, people kissing , people hugging, people kissing passionately , people rocking , people expounding on religion, people preaching politics, people talking about mission trips, men and women in fatigues, men and women in dress uniforms, people attending weddings, people attending funerals , people traveling , people passing through, people stuck, people yanking children by the arm, people with twins, people with four day old babies, people carrying baby carriers, babies laughing, babies crying, children running, children throwing tantrums, children playing in the toy department , children in Uggs, children in cowboy boots, children barefoot, children with a white streak in their hair (natural), children living with their grandparents , children visiting their grandparents, grandparents visiting their children, soldiers returning from Afghanistan, newlyweds, married 64 years, those who love, those who do not love, those who are affectionate, those who are chatty, those who are sour, those who are happy ,those who are sad, those who are lonely, those who are in a hurry, those who linger too long ,those who want something from six months ago ,those who want the last one, those who will not take the last one, those who wait until it goes on sale, those who don’t care what it costs, those who tell you how wonderful you are, those who tell your boss how wonderful you are, those who burst out the door shouting how rude you are, those who touch, those who grab your hand, those who tell you secrets, those who tell you dreams ,those who tell you “thanks” and not mean it, those who tell you thanks and mean it, those who dress like hookers, people who do not wash and smell bad, those on spike heels, those in combat boots, those in work boots, those who run out on the check, those who checks will not cash, those who return (used) merchandise, those who steal merchandise, those who argue about merchandise (that is clearly marked 25% off!!), those who want the manager, those who run out of gas, those who need a jump, a phone book, an aspirin, those who need a slap in the face, a course on etiquette, a bath, a kick in the ass, those who are too sweet, too young for motherhood, too young for fatherhood, too young for military service (they look like they are 12 sometimes), and then there are those who make you cry with their stories, who make you laugh with their witticisms…….

How in the world could I make up stories about the character of the people I meet and greet in a typical day?

The reality is enough.

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This post was written in response to a writing challenge from {W}rite-of-Passage, a "...group of writers seeking a challenge, getting critique, and finding community."

10/365

GiST

1) Walmart having monitors on sale

2) Getting into a check out lane with no one in front of you!

3) Working a shift with Rita - who loves to gift wrap (yea!)

4) Finding a peppermint in my purse.

5) Finding "Tales of the Scale" at the Salvation Army store - a book written by a blogger who use (notice the past tense) to have a great blog called Lose the Budda.

9/365

Grace in Small things

Double header

1) Downloading the newest Neil Young.

2) Sirius Radio

3) Successfully selling Joe's golf clubs on Craigslist

4) Chocolate chip cookies recipe courtesy of Foodnetwork.com

5) Arriving two hours late for work because you read the schedule incorrectly and everyone covered for you and no one knew!

Second Week - GiST

8 of 365

1) Having a Saturday off!

2) Having a Saturday off and finding out UK plays UNC on TV at 11:30!

3) Living in central time zone.

4) UK playing awesome 1st half and I was jumping up and down and then they played a mediocre 2nd half but they WON!! Great game!

5) Finishing my first draft for (W)rite of passage.

GiST

7 of 365

1) Realizing I was watching a sunset and it was beautiful.

2) Not burning down the house. I remembered I had left the oven on earlier in the day when I rushed off to work! I had thawed out several chicken breasts and they had been in the refrigerator tooooo long and I thought I would cook them before leaving for work. Great ideas gone bad! Joe home at 330 and turned off oven! Chicken burnt to a black glob. That's what happens at 350 degrees for seven hours!!

3) Thin crust deLITE pizza from Papa Murphy's.

4) Money grams at Walmart - too easy and a Christmas discount.

5) The end of a trying day that was coupled with my out of sorts mood.

GiST

6 of 365

1) Andrea Bocelli singing "Because God Made thee Mine" makes me cry it is so beautiful and fills me with memories of my Dad singing the song to my Mom.

2) My MP3 - Andrea Bocelli and some other guy singing "Because we Believe" because it gives me chills (and brings tears to my eyes too, it's so beautiful)

3) That I made it to the gas station this morning before running out of gas. I cut it way too close this time - almost.

4) Unexpected trip to Trader Joe's!

5) Message on the answering machine regarding job at the Mall ????????!!!!!!!!!!1

Grace in Small Things

Five of three hundred and sixty five

1) Waking to the sound of rain.

2) Smell of brownies cooking. Yum yum.

3) AT&T cell tower finally (after seven months living here) turned on! Cell service in Tiny Town! Yessssssssssssssss

4) Employee appreciation days - 30% off the merchandise. That makes Buy one get one half price very sweet.

5) Getting a doctor appointment with a specialist immediately! Unheard of!

4 of 365

Grace in Small Things

1) Satisfaction that comes from completing a task! Even if it is only cleaning out the cupboards and refrigerator.

2) Libraries - thank you Ben Franklin for dreaming up the concept of a free library. With computers and DVD's, music CD's, old books - new books and everything in between.

3) Finding a four leaf clover.

4) A cute little boy pushing miniature shopping cart at Kroger (I go to market quite often..lol)

5) Hearing laughter and looking north and seeing the playground covered with children! Flashback to Ft. Wayne and a playground next to the Little Caesar's covered with a recent heavy snow and the seemingly hundreds of colorfully clad kids frolicking on the equipment.