Sunday, July 03, 2005

It's Junk, but it's my Junk

It's very disconcerting that I have searched for a hour for a software program that I know I put in a safe place. It is part of my Operation Summer Projects. I have searched high and low. I am in fear I have transported it to the storage area I had to rent last week. I'll never find it in that dungeon.

I had to rent it. I have way too much stuff. I have a much smaller house to cram in all my precious things. The 300 square feet of "attic" space I had in my Kentucky home is a sweet memory.

I had a yard sale before moving here. I went through all my clothes....twice...and donated bags and bags to the big Christian church that gives it away to the needy. I still have way too many things.

I look at all the clothes that made the cut. I still have my beautiful red velvet sleeveless cocktail legnth dress, with white lace that I wore to the Sophomore Valentine dance. My first date. I remember my mother and I buying that dress from an exclusive dress shop in Lexington called Lowenthal's. I remember the day vividly because as we were crossing the street my mother went to take my hand and I jerked it away as if she had touched me with a blow torch. I'll never forget the look of hurt on her face. So I keep the dress to remind me of how much I love her, owe her, and what a Saint she is.

So, I can't get rid of that dress.

The clothes that I decide to keep all have similiar stories attached to them. It is insignificant that I will never be able to wear again. Maybe someday Bridget can open a museum with all the things I have accumulated. A vintage clothes store.

For the past thirty years I have been hauling around a large green garbage bag full of unframed prints. In the late 1970's I began seeing a guy who worked at a Frame Shop. He got me involved in purchasing prints and over the years I have built up a nice collection. I have several Coleach's, Charles Harper, Ray Harm, Paul Sawyer.

I should say "had". They got tossed by accident. (By you know who...Poo-Poo). I never should have stored them in an unseemly garbage bag! I was stunned and felt like my heart was breaking. I cried for an hour on the way to work.

In time I'll get over it. Two good things occurred from this tradegy. First, I am having all the artwork that survived framed! The survivors are mainly the photographs that I have collected. My Unauthorized Rolling Stone Concert 1981 shots are next.

Secondly, I found out I can survive the loss of things that I thought I could not live without.

Just barely.

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