Yesterday I jumped into a car and made the three plus hour trip back to Central Kentucky for my step daughters graduation. I thought I would be home in plenty of time to think of something and then write about that something.
All I could think about was this. At 330pm yesterday I was unaware that my there was a graduation to attend. And all the way home (as I was out filling out employment applications and the such) I was upset and wrestled with knowing I was going to face either going on the unexpected trip or begging off. Going would be .... not only accepting that I was and always will be on the outside of my stepdaughters life...but rolling with what ever is thrown at me concerning my step daughter. By not going well, I just can't go there.
We arrived home earlier this afternoon and here I sit with nothing. I have nothing but a bag of resentment that simmers and can not under any circumstance boil over.
We have been together for 12 years and yet I am always on the outside. Some think I choose to pitch my tent here but the truth is that some stepmothers will always be the Evil Step Mother no matter what.
I wish I dared discuss it here.