It's 3am.
I have been awake since an hour ago. Tossing and turning, mind aflame with niggling thoughts that persist in tickling my consciousness. Was my sub-consciousness when I was asleep. All those tiny little details, all those exercises that we allow ourselves to go through....that we will do it tomorrow, another time, always have time. Time is slipping away.
I am officially unemployed. Meaning that when I go into the office tomorrow, I will be a visitor. Arriving in a car I am renting. Driving past my faithful old company car. The one with the gas card tucked in the comforts and confines of the secret place, at attention, at alert for when a fill may be necessary. I miss you already. You reality smasher, keeping the effects of a corrupt government at bay, until this day, the day I must pull out my own cash to fill my gaping hole called a gas tank.
The trains wail softly in the night.
The rain falls intermittently.
All is quiet, except my brain.
7 comments:
Here's hoping a bright shiny eco friendly company car is waiting for you just down the road and around the bend! :-)
I as up several times last night wondering about things like money and clients. We could have suffered together!
Change is scary, but I hope you find something better and are happy with your move this time. :-)
I hope that you will find your place and your peace quickly.
I have been sleeping less than 3-4 hours a night for 4 weeks now due to a medication change. It's starting to take it's toll.
Chris
My Blog
As a long term insomniac, you have my heart. That first day and long, long night of unemployment always feels strange.
I hope you rest better tonight and welcome the next opportunity soon.
It IS a rather bereft and tetherless feeling, isn't it? Kind of like being kicked out of the nest...
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