PMS BLUES

My immediate boss is a woman. It has been a long time since I have had a female boss. And somewhere in the back files of my mind I remember telling myself to never ever work for a woman again!!

I prefer men (duh). They are.....less emotional, say what they mean (most the time, unless they are trying to trick you), answer their phones, don't have PMS, and usually do not have the sixth sense. They are basically pretty easy to work with (for) and manipulate. (did I really write that down!)

For example, this morning my boss called one of my co-workers. He was on his way out and standing in the hallway halfway in the door of another co-workers office across the way. I could hear her voice. Not exactly what she was saying, but knew it was her. He said "Arby's" and then the next thing I know both of them have vanished.

I immediately think that they are meeting for breakfast and not invited me. This is exactly why I should not work for a woman. I expect the worst. My imagination runs wild. My uncanny sixth sense and intuitive nature are working overtime.

Actually, she is between a rock and a hard place. The day after I returned from the Hurricane, Friday, I tried all day to call her. She never returned my calls. On Monday when I just showed up at the plant hoping I had a job, she told me she had received her "pink slip" that day. Nothing she had done, but just cutting out another level of unnecessary middle management. Not the greatest way to start off with her.

I have been with the company a couple of years more than her. I realize that if they like you and you are a hard worker and valuable to the company, they find a place for you. (hopefully not in Hell City). She will bounce back. She will land on her feet. She will be okay.

But....I still feel some sort of negative feelings coming at me from her. I may even deserve them, because I can be a royal pain in the ass. And I don't even try, it just comes natural.

Anyway, my feelings were not exactly hurt this morning....but I was amused. Once again feeling like the outsider.

Familiar Haunts

This morning after leaving Bridget's I decided to treat myself to breakfast. Lynn's Paradise Cafe was too crowded, Ditto's looked closed so I ended up at the Shoney's on Eastern Parkway & Preston. And what a treat it was! First of all, to be surrounded by southern accents. Music to my ears. And the service! I recgonized it last night also, when we ate at the pub attached to the Marriott downtown. Service was spectacular! Friendly, prompt. I can not begin to count the times I have walked out of places in Indiana because I was not acknowledged by the staff and servers! Astonishing! Little do they know, I am a great (and I do mean Great)tipper. But, I have to get good service.

I am not expected anywhere today, so I have the entire day to so what ever it is I want to do! I went downtown and took pictures! It is a gray overcast day and I loved it. I miss the dismal gray of a Ohio Valley sky. So familiar and expected. All the better to appreciate the sunshine when he makes an appearance. I wish I could put into works why Louisville is so beautiful to me. It is a large city like very other large city, yet it shines even in the overcast skies of late November. From the funky stores and streets of Bardstown Road to the breathtaking expanse of the Ohio River stretching towards Indiana every little nook and cranty is familiar and a welcome sight.

Then Lexington. I find myself racing to the Friends Book Cellar because I have not been able to find the time to visit since May. I am due for a fix. A very over due fix! First off, Joe, one of the staff volunteers is on duty! He greets me with a hug, tells my how beautiful I look, and how he has missed me! Now that is service!

I find in the aisles two of my favorite books ever in Hard Back! A terrific find! I am buried in the Travel section and find six books I must have! In total, I have 12 books. Total....$29. I love this place! I wonder about sneaking them into the house in Ft. Wayne, as my book collection is totally out of hand. It is actually housed in our storage area!

I am now at the computer room casually casting my eyes around looking for the mutterer. Very bad to make eye contact with him, I would think. I doubt he is here since I don't hear him.

My next stop will be the liquor Barn, which I will just run up and down the aisles and rejoice at the selection and the prices. There is not a single store in Ft. Wayne anywhere close to the gigantic liquor stores in this area. Not only liquor, but the best greeting cards, gifts, party favors, a deli, balloons, gift baskets, designer coffees, gourmet foods and candy, and of course lots and lots of beer! Lots and lots of quirky beers from all over the world! I live for these moments.

I am then off to the consignment shop. I love that place. I need a new winter coat for the harsh North East winds! I know I will find it there. Plus, no telling what else.

I have an 18 pound Turkey in the back of my car. I certainly hope it thaws out before tomorrow morning. I feel strange with the bird in my back area. I keep checking on it. I know this is the most unconventional method I have ever using for thawing out a turkey.

Light Up Louisville

I made it down here to Louisville in only three hours! Not much of a rush hour in Indianpolis. Great way to not lose time. It's amazing how much more young kids remember. We arrived at the square moments before Santa plugged in the gigantic electrical plug. Scott noted that we arrived just in time last year too. Hmmmm. Bridget thought the lights and the fireworks were more elaborate last year too. Hmmmmmmmmm again.

They thought it was very cold walking from the building to the square. I thought "Ha!" This is not cold. This is chilly! Every morning in Ft. Wayne the wind chill has put the temperature in the teens. Walking in 30 degree weather was like a day at the beach. Ha hahaha.

I am worried about Bridget. She has not been feeling well for some time now. She went to the doctor almost two months ago to try and diagnosis what is ailing her. It was thought that she might have pancreatic (sp?) this past summer. The doctor began by trying to eliminate things. Unfortunately, she told Bridget that as a last result they would scope her. Immediately she began to collect stories about how horrible that is! I am too far away to force her to go. Like those years of long past......she is an adult now. I worry. My sister has suggested Crohns disease.

I guess the apple does not fall far from the tree.

If I could find their ubc plug I would see how the pictures turned out from last night. I have not purchased a DSLR as of yet. I found a great deal on the Internet, but they tried so hard to up sell me that it turned me off. A re-chargeable battery pack for $80! I hate recharge able batteries!!! And then he tired to tell me that I needed a very expensive flash card.....I said, "I think I need to rethink this purchase."

I truly want one. Hey,I need one!!! I really do.

Home away from Home

I have found a great library on State Street. What that means is, no waiting for a computer! My favorite library in Lexington required a waiting period at times. Not too too bad. There were some crazies in that library. One man in particular that once threatened a woman for supposedly stealing his keys! He also was a mutterer. And he usually sat close to me...and muttered.

This library is brand spanking new. And if school were not out, I bet I would be in here alone.

I am packed and ready to hit the road. I am just biding my time until it is maybe....230 - 245 before I hit the road. It is an approximate three and half hour drive. I hope to be there well before the Light up Louisville festival begins. I think there may be singing and a speech from the mayor and then Santa throws the switch.

The best part will be being able to see Bridget! And spend time with her. I bought her the cutest scarf at the Mall several days ago. It is a shaggy thing in a pale blue that should light up her eyes...

Cathy wrote me back. I burst out crying when I saw the email! Her mother is in the hospital recovering from triple by-pass surgery. Her father is a wreck. I am so psyched that we are talking...writing....after all this time.

There is this terrific journal, I forget the name right now, that I was reading last week and she had posted several letters that she had kept that had very sentimental memories attached to them. It reminded me that before email, we had to correspond through the US mail. While I was living in Houston, pregnant with Bridget, Cathy and I wrote each other all the time. I know I have those letters somewhere in all my stuff...I can see the box in my storage shed right now!

I am thrilled to have that door open again. We had such great times together at Murray and in Louisville. She was my closest friend for the longest time. Always there for me.

There is so much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. I like the idea of taking a toll of all the things recently that have been good.

My Dad receiving new "ears" and being able to make declarative statements and even asking questions? It had been so long since he has been able to participate.

Joe becoming a Grandpa and making me a Grandma!

Being re-hired and in a job I love.

Reconnecting with Cathy after all these years.

Receiving the Vivi award.

Going to Mexico and surviving a hurricane and then having the adventure of a lifetime!

Omega and I making plans to see the Saw Doctors on St.Patrick's Day in Cleveland this coming March! Yea! Rah!

Not hitting that car and rear ending it when it was snowing Wednesday when I could not come to a stop and just slid towards it.

Getting able to leave and go home to Kentucky early today!

I could go on and on. I think that life seems much nicer and doable when you take time to reflect on things that are good in your life. It is so easy to slip into a depression and a sour mood if you allow yourself to only make a litany of those things that make you sad.

It's almost 2pm. Time to mosey on along.

Cathy and Bridget....1981

MURRAY MEMORIES

Yesterday I received one of those mass span's from Classmates.com. It began by telling me that someone was searching for me. I usually just delete them, but I went ahead and opened it up! Lo and Behold it was allowing me access to my Gold Membership!!

I know, I'm "clueless", that's why I purchase services. Could it be because I can afford it! Ha!! (that's a whole other entry that I am avoiding because I am astounded that people throw rocks at AOL...duck!!!) I bought it earlier this year after writing an entry about Cathy. I was determined to find her! And I did with Classmates. Only problem was, she never responded to my e-mail.

So, I tried again.

Our history is long and puzzling. I hate the fact that I have not seen or heard from her in over 20 years.

One of my friends once told me that I hang on to people with tenacity the likes he has never seen before. It is so true.

So, I have tried again with the hope that this time she will forgive me for my rashness and anger that I displayed all those years ago and hurt her. As David Letterman would say, "Put bygones behind us, the water under the bridge, over the dam, wherever water goes--standing in your basement"...(I loved that!).

That is why I think I had that vivid dream about Murray State University last night. In technicolor! I hopped into my Pinto (which is the car I owned all those years ago) and traveled the 250 miles down the West Kentucky Parkway. (surprised it could make it after all these years. A Pinto is not a vehicle you see around everyday, and for a reason!). Once I arrived there I ran into my pal Marilyn and we had a tour of the house on 1206 Main Street that I once lived in. I was concerned that my name was still on the lease and called the police. I was damned that if I wasn't receiving some of the profits from this "boarding" house that I would be responsible for it!!

It was right after I spoke to the police, who arrived in plain clothes with his wife, that I realized I had left my computer at home! How could I live without my computer and on-line journals????

I also began to realize I had packed neither my computer nor a tooth brush! I understood that it was my subconscious talking, I did not want to return to college, especially as a 50 something woman! These students were young enough to be my kids!! And they were smoking pot! "Don't you all know that they drug test out there!!" I clued them. I did not fit in anymore.

I drove around campus, "up the hill" and did not recognize a thing. I'm certain it was then that I turned around and headed the four hours home.

I've been recently having some very detailed dreams about Murray and the people I knew from that time in my life. I wonder what my subconscious is trying to tell me, or remember? Actually, I am just enjoying the movies my dreams are giving to me, like a present, about that time so long ago.

Fragments from the week

Life is a blur. Rapidly streaking by at mach speed. The older I grow the faster it flashes and turns the calendar pages. When I was a child Christmas came at an excruciating slow pace. The build up of expectation, the time away from school, the anticipation of snow was an overwhelming pleasure that I looked forward to all year.

Now I wish time would slow down. At times I wish it would even reverse. What I would give to have my Bridget as an inquisitive four year old again, snuggled up beside me in bed sleeping the dreams of angels.

What I do have now are fragments of memories from the past few days that will serve as tiny souvenirs of the waning days of 2005.

Joe and I traveling to Van Wert Saturday morning and I putting the new CD I had found at Borders into the player. Buena Vista Social Club. I feel as if I tricked him into listening to my "wacky Latin music" by saying it had Ry Cooder on it. I look back on that morning and him listening to the album in its entirely as symbolic of his love for me. And his tolerance of my wacky ways as I leaned over and sang "Ay ay ay ay....I am the Frito Bandito" inserted into the music.

Monday mid-afternoon found me having the attacks in my chest again. I was driving north on I-69 and began to semi-panic. I felt for certain I was having the beginning of a heart attack now! I turned around and headed back to Ft. Wayne and an urgent treatment center when I positioned myself while in the waiting room into an incline posture that took the pressure off my chest. The doctor examined me and told me the news. I have a pulled muscle in my chest.

It has not hurt once since.

We were having a visitor at the Sales Center. Someone from my past! Someone who has been promoted from the Center in Lexington to the biggest position in the Regional area. I have not seen him in four years, and feel he was very instrumental in helping me find my way back. Or course I wake up yesterday with a red blemish on the tip of my nose! Good lord!!! All day long I had to keep reapplying make-up to the affected area. When they day was winding down into the final moments and I thought I had missed him and abandoned my nose charade, there he was.

Oh it was good to see him!

Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday, is tomorrow. I found this terrific Arkansas Bar-B-Que place in the downtown area and we will have smoked brisket and the fixings for dinner tomorrow. Then I travel to Kentucky for time with my family.

That is what I am thoroughly thankful for.

From the Archives....November 13, 2003

I read an entry in "Coming to terms with Middle Age" by miraminiak about a Simon & Garfunkel concert she had just seen. It triggered memories of all the concerts I have attended over the past several decades.

A sound track has accompanied my life ever since I have been about 12 years old. The Rolling Stones were a major force in the movie of my life from about 1978 till mid 80's. The above photo is from the Start Me Up tour. The photo's are bootleg...(oops, you don't think I will be in trouble do you?)...and I have several of them.

I was living in Louisville. My best friend had a friend who was the door man at Phoenix Hill Tavern. He secured a lot of tickets for this concert. He begrudgingly sold us four tickets. He was unsure which were the best seats. I could not find anyone I wanted to go with and so we ended up in front of Broadbent arena with an extra ticket. It was sold pretty quickly to someone in the crowd outside hoping to score a seat.

OH MY GOD! The seats were left hand stage! On the upper deck, first row, overlooking the stage! When the Stones came out, I could see everything on the stage. Everything and everyone. I could practically reach out and touch Keith.

Then, this attitude heavy dude comes up and sits next to me. The fortunate one who got the extra ticket. All I remember about him was that he had a hash pipe and he was sharing.

The next day I go to work and everyone knew how excited I was to see the Stones and were asking questions about the concert. For some reason....I remembered the beginning and .....

The phone rings, its Lloyd (who got the tickets from Phoenix Hill). "So, how did you like those seats?" (Unfortunately, he had chosen the lesser of the two). "They were great! Too bad they didn't play very long". Lloyd was silent for several seconds, then just said, "Good-bye".

When I finally got to talk to my friend she told me the rest of the story. The guy with the hash pipe was shot-gunning me and I passed out. Mick Jagger got in the cherry picker and came right up to us. She tried to wake me up (smacking me!) but I was out cold. She swears, Mick looked at me, shook his head and rolled his eyes.

These may have been my best seats ever and I blew it!

A Different Drummer

One of the dangers to having an on line journal is the risk you are taking when you lay it all out there. You never know who is reading. Secondly, you have absolutely no control over how people perceive what you are writing. Something written in jest is taken as serious. Tongue in cheek is taken as a position on a subject.

One of the by-products from the great exodus from AOL I see is a tremendous surge of freedom beginning to form. So many of us have been so careful not to hurt feelings, say the wrong things, and God forbid, be misunderstood. And then there was the dreaded TOS! I, for one, have held back writing about certain subjects because of my concern for offending anyone. I sweated bullets the time when I wrote about smoking pot at a Rolling Stones concert over 20 years ago!!!

For all my bravado, I still have a strong drive to be accepted and one of the crowd. Yet, most my life, I have always been on the outside fringes of the crowd! Why is this, I wonder? I'm not a leader and not much of a joiner. I am attracted to the wild and devil may care type of personality, the risk takers. The ones who attract attention. The ones who are in trouble all the time.

The ones who live life and do not waste one moment. Except maybe when they are sitting in jail (hahah).

I was a rebellious child and as I grow older I still tend to be rebellious. I realize that I am a part of this wonderful community on AOL, that is so diverse and interesting. I marvel that I have been able to fit in!!

I always like the bad boys and the incorrigible girls.

And that is all I have to say about that.

WHY I USE BLOGGER

A long time ago, in a far away land, when we were limited to the amount of words we could use in our postings on AOL, I was always in trouble.

I can not spell. I have my theories on this. I read quite a bit when I am able, so I usually recognize the words are wrong. I loved the dictionary/thesaurus drop down AOL use to have (boo for removing it and replacing it with a slower and complicated upgraded version). Yet, quite a few snafus got past me. If I go back and re-read some of my very early entries, I cringe at the spelling, grammar and syntax. Not that I am much better now!

I think it was the Nuns at the Catholic Grammar school. They were on the cutting edge of educating the Baby Boomers and taught us to read using Phonics. That doomed me to be a rotten speller ever since first grade.

I read in Time magazine years and years ago that there is a spelling dyslexia. A part of the brain that can have trouble. Yes, that's the ticket! There it is. I have a brain problem with spelling. So did F. Scott Fitzgerald. They said he was the worst and sometimes they had no idea what the hell he was trying to write! When we read his brilliant writing we should wonder....F. Scott, or the Editor?

So that is how and why I ended up with Blogger. I have been using it for a long time. I find that if I write my entries here there is the semi-wonderful spell check. I am able to copy my entries and transfer then without any trouble with the Html. It was near impossible writing my entries in mail and transferring it.

Html hell.

THE PAIN THE PAIN

Joe and I went to this little shop in a small town in Ohio, about 30 miles away. It was a quaint shop with many bottles of wine, candy, cigars and baskets. They would make divine gift baskets I think.

I bought peanut brittle and proceeded to eat it on the way home. For breakfast.

About an hour later, I began to get a pain. A sharp pain. Like someone is jabbing a knife into my chest....just under my left rib cage. It hurts, tiny thrusts of searing pain, then it goes away. Sometimes it really hurts, other times it just is an annoyance.

I finally went to Walmart and bought some acid reflux medication. I swallowed it on the way out of the store, as the pain hit me several times while there.

I thought I had it licked, but just a moment ago it hit me again. Just once. Letting me know I have not conquered it.

My liver?

God knows I drink enough for one person. In my lifetime, I probably have drunk enough to kill several people. Of Irish heritage, hailing from Kentucky. We are the worst of the lot when it comes to slugging them back.

In 2003 I thought I had totally destroyed myself and my innards after the Derby Eve Slither and a long evening of drinking cheap beer. I laid on the couch all Derby Day with a terrible pain in my right side. It lingered for a long time. It has finally gone away. I think my liver has petrified.

When ever it hurts anywhere in my stomach area, I'm certain it is my liver.

Trip Planner

Joe wants to start planning a trip for next year. He has decided on the first few weeks of January! So far his web searches have included a week on South Beach for five nights with air fare, approx. $800 for the two of us.

Then he found a cruise on Carnival $269 per and some great airfare of $169 each.

I, on the other hand purchased the new copy of Budget Travel and found a trip to Madrid for six nights from Chicago $619 each. London, $499 each for four nights.

Dominican Republic, all inclusive, four nights $499 each.

Decisions, decisions.

And there is always Italy. But, I would need at least two weeks for that.

Generation Gap

"What type of music do you listen to?" my new co-worker asked me. He leaned forward, his forearms resting on his knees. His counter part, my other co-worker, leaned forward as well.

I turned towards them and announced, "Celtic music, jazz, blues and as of lately, a lot of Mexican music."

Nothing. They said nothing. Both of them blank, just taking it in. Maybe it was because I pronounced Celtic with the hard "K", unlike the way most Americans recognize it pronounce as in the Boston "Celtics".

Maybe it was because Dave is 27 and Matt is 25.

I might as well have said that I listen to Mariachis Music, while dancing the merengue, throwing knives and tossing back tequila.

After a long pause Dave said "I listen to music I can understand".

Smart Aleck.

It's like working with my daughter and her friends!

DISCLAIMER
I am having second thoughts about opening up this journal. After all, this was my journal that hardly anyone read and so I felt very anonymous. I was able to really write what I wanted without a care in the world. I have changed all that and now I feel that Alphawoman has barged in here and I am not so certain I like it.

The real Mary is different from Alpha. Alpha is the woman I think I am in my head. Smart, funny, sometimes witty. Sugar and Spice. Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? It certainly isn't Alpha. Alpha is like my alter ego. The good part of me.

I love this journal, which I first titled Mary, Mary Quite Contrary. I don't think I am going to alter things.

Proceed with caution, because I am not really all that nice. lol.

TINKERBELLE

Somebody should have told me!

We are under a Wind Advisory in North East Indiana. And they are not joking, the wind is pretty strong. Strong enough to make it near impossible to open and close a car door. No one told me that I should expect such fierce winds. Since the land is so flat up here maybe they thought I could figure it out.

The wind and rain have stripped off the beautiful leaves and have sent them dancing all over the streets and lawns. The kids next door came over during the week and made me an offer I could not refuse. To rake my leaves. For $5..........each! Such enterprise should be rewarded.

I guess I will grow accustomed to the Wind Advisory Alerts. Since I found out the hard way snow around these parts is not cause for concern. I will not be receiving the obligatory Snow Alerts that are common a little further south.

Last March I was up here and walked outside and it was a blizzard! At least six inches since I had entered the apartment only hours before. No Bread, Milk and Beer Alerts for these seasoned Mid-Westerners.

I usually do not write much about Joe's family, as we are a blended family and I feel that their privacy is important. But I have to announce that Joe is now A GRANDPA!!!! And I guess I am a Step-Grandma.

Hopefully pictures to come. He went home to see the latest addition to the family. I gave him my camera. You have seen (the last post with that blurry picture of a travel weary Alphawoman) his handiwork with a camera.

I can only hope.

Welcome to the world Tinkerbelle.

THE SEVENTIES (as I remember it)

When I started to blog, on line journal, I was hoping to write the story of my life. I thought it had some value, was interesting and entertaining. What I did not count on was being caught up in the Journal Community over at AOL. So, I departed from the original plan and began to combine my past with my present.

Yesterday one of the radio stations I listen to announced a week-end dedicated to all the music from the 1970's. Most of the music they played yesterday was awful The top five artists! Bah humbug. Paul McCartney and "Uncle Albert"...please, Elton John "Crocodile Rock", where was "Tiny Dancer"?. I missed the beginning with Chicago. Now I loved dancing to Chicago's music Down South in Tennessee while a student at MSU, so I agree with that.

I remember when my brother joined the Columbia Record Club and received all those albums with the contractual agreement that he would pay for more albums (very inflated price). We had some wonderful music playing up in our dormer! I remember Neil Young, Led Zeppelin, Cat Stevens....

My music tastes are still the same today as they were 35 years ago....all over the place. Just today I ordered an album by Lila Downs online, plus some Mariachis music inspired by the Robert Rodriguez movies (yes I have seen them!) I purchased a John Cougar Mellencamp CD earlier this week and Santana. And I still listen faithfully to Ashley McIsaac! And Seven Nations.

In the early 1970's I had Beatle albums, The Four Tops, Wilson Pickett, Black Oak Arkansas, Carol King, Janis Joplin and on and on. My musical tastes really expanded when I hit college.

As did my head.

That is what triggered this new series. What the 1970's meant to me.

DANCE OF JOY

This has been a great week. I am so happy to be back at work in a job that I know so well. Even though the town is different, the people have different names it is all the same. After my experience on "the other side" I realize how good I have it. This job is a walk in the park, a piece of cake, a dream come true! I am thrilled. I am happy beyond words. If I were a poet I would write a poem about being so happy it is about to make me pop my head!

I joined a fitness center in the area. About five miles from our home. It may seem a far trek for me, yet it is still much closer than Shapes in Lex. And the location for gaining entry is also a walk in the park compared to Lex. Yikes, Shapes was in the same shopping center with Best Buys, Bath bed and Beyond and then the ultimate horror, Toys are Us...a nightmare at Christmas.

As if I even went! Maybe twice last year. Twice maybe! Maybe more. I can't remember, but not much.

I am working up to it today. I am very overweight. I would like to drop 20 pounds. I can not stop eating. Damn those donuts. Damn Dairy Queen (and extra damn Pumpkin Pie blizzards!)

And then the biggest thrill of them all....I ordered (finally) the Canon EOS Rebel! Yea Rah! Good price, over the internet. I know I shall discard my Minolta which has been so great since...April? And then the Fujifilm S3000 will be a total thing of the past. Even though it took some fantastic photo's in Cancun when the card on the Minolta was full. Very good pictures.

I am allowing Joe to take the camera (Minolta) to Lex because he is now a Grandpapa. Since 430am this morning!

And last but not least, on Sunday I awoke after visiting Bridget and logged onto AOL and found out my journal was voted the Best Travel Journal! That trip to Cancun helped! Even though most all the voting had already taken place.

It was a thrill. But not anything like being Journal of the Week July 2004. That was a thrill of a life time.

YOUR SO VAIN

Now I remember what I was going to write!!!

There is absolutely nothing as shocking as seeing yourself on television. I was ill prepared for it and therefore it has taken me almost two weeks to even come up with some type of entry about it.

When we were trying to get out of Mexico, Joe thought it would be a good idea to call our friend in Ft. Wayne, who is connected to the local media mob, to help us. We suggested she call CNN, MSNBC, or even the CIA! She called a radio station who interviewed Joe that afternoon via the infamous cell phone! I'm certain that the "greased wheels" had more to do with us getting out that night than his radio interview.

Upon arrival home, the television station contacted me and I agreed to an interview. Somewhere in my naive view of the world, I thought they would interview me and then show some of the pictures from my digital camera. I thought this because I told them I did not want to be on TV.

They arrived with a camera, I should have had a clue I was in trouble.

I wanted to go fix my hair, change clothes, put on make up. They said, "We want you to look like you just survived a hurricane."

When I was aired on the 5 o'clock news.....I was struck dumb. And I was struck deaf. I only heard one thing....that southern twang. Slow and ......oh my God! What a southern accent.

Then it was my bad side. My scar, that I have had since childhood when I tumbled down the concrete stairs at age two was so evident that I could barely see anything else! Except the bags under my eyes. My eyes! My eyes!

I need an eye job!

I had my hair pulled up in a pony tail on top of my head. I looked like a mountain woman from the hills of Kentucky.

I did not hear once word I said. I was so in shock.

Word of advice...never ever go on television without makeup and your hair done.

I shall never recover.

This is why I do not let Joe use my camera.

Today I thought I had an idea for an entry. Somehow I have lost it. My last adventure to Mexico seems to have overshadowed everything in my life up to now. It was my own Oddesy. My time to come face to face with the Mary inside of me. My time to come into contact with a group of people/characters who touched my life at a ceratin time.

Homer had his Odyssey. Joyce his Ulysses . Mary had her Cancun.

It maybe awhile before I can write again. I hope we will go to Italy. And back o Ireland. Finally see Alaska.

One can dream.