Thursday, November 24, 2005
Cathy and Bridget....1981
Yesterday I received one of those mass span's from Classmates.com. It began by telling me that someone was searching for me. I usually just delete them, but I went ahead and opened it up! Lo and Behold it was allowing me access to my Gold Membership!!
I know, I'm "clueless", that's why I purchase services. Could it be because I can afford it! Ha!! (that's a whole other entry that I am avoiding because I am astounded that people throw rocks at AOL...duck!!!) I bought it earlier this year after writing an entry about Cathy. I was determined to find her! And I did with Classmates. Only problem was, she never responded to my e-mail.
So, I tried again.
Our history is long and puzzling. I hate the fact that I have not seen or heard from her in over 20 years.
One of my friends once told me that I hang on to people with tenacity the likes he has never seen before. It is so true.
So, I have tried again with the hope that this time she will forgive me for my rashness and anger that I displayed all those years ago and hurt her. As David Letterman would say, "Put bygones behind us, the water under the bridge, over the dam, wherever water goes--standing in your basement"...(I loved that!).
That is why I think I had that vivid dream about Murray State University last night. In technicolor! I hopped into my Pinto (which is the car I owned all those years ago) and traveled the 250 miles down the West Kentucky Parkway. (surprised it could make it after all these years. A Pinto is not a vehicle you see around everyday, and for a reason!). Once I arrived there I ran into my pal Marilyn and we had a tour of the house on 1206 Main Street that I once lived in. I was concerned that my name was still on the lease and called the police. I was damned that if I wasn't receiving some of the profits from this "boarding" house that I would be responsible for it!!
It was right after I spoke to the police, who arrived in plain clothes with his wife, that I realized I had left my computer at home! How could I live without my computer and on-line journals????
I also began to realize I had packed neither my computer nor a tooth brush! I understood that it was my subconscious talking, I did not want to return to college, especially as a 50 something woman! These students were young enough to be my kids!! And they were smoking pot! "Don't you all know that they drug test out there!!" I clued them. I did not fit in anymore.
I drove around campus, "up the hill" and did not recognize a thing. I'm certain it was then that I turned around and headed the four hours home.
I've been recently having some very detailed dreams about Murray and the people I knew from that time in my life. I wonder what my subconscious is trying to tell me, or remember? Actually, I am just enjoying the movies my dreams are giving to me, like a present, about that time so long ago.