I MAKE A BETTER GIRLFRIEND THAN A WIFE

OR......THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE

I was single for so long. Forever until Joe made an honest woman out of me. I was use to being single, doing what I wanted when I wanted and if I didn't like what I was doing I could just go home and then do what I wanted.

Yet, I thought something was lacking from my life. If you look around, most everyone is in couples! I wanted to be a couple! I wanted to be married, like most everyone I knew.

I did not understand the reality. That someone is always there! Once you are joined, there is no escaping. There is no packing it all up and leaving. There is no longer, "tomorrow is another day". It is today, over and over and over.

I am no Christmas present. Though I know it seems that I am wonderful and God's gift. I present myself the way I like to think of myself. It is not reality. The reality is ....well, let's just be glad Joe does not have a blog. I would be mortified.

Spending a total week together with no breaks (except when he got lost in the Airport trying to escape from me) was....eventful.

Take the ride home, back to IN from KY where we finished off our week vacation with a visit to our respective families. My niece was starring in a regional theater play (well, we like to think of her as being the star, because she definitely was to us!)and I had opted to see the performance on Saturday night.

Unbeknownest to me, there was a bit of weather brewing in the west and headed towards the Ohio Valley. I knew that freezing rain was expected after mid-night, but I also thought that it was to be followed by rain. Which to me, means it is going to warm up.

When Sunday morning dawned, it was pretty bad. Joe came and picked me up at my parents around 9am and off we went on our 4 and a half hour trip up north.

The world was covered in ice and snow. The expressways were a mess. Cars lined the ditches along side I-75. The wind was howling and the windshield wipers were scraping away the freezing rain as fast they could, yet it still piled up. Only one lane was open and everyone was flying! I was petrified and could not stop making little started noises, hitting the phantom brake pedal, and clutching the dash board for dear life.

"Do you think my driving is bad?" Joe asked sarcastically, "maybe you would like to take over."

To which I replied, "Please put more room between us and the car in front! Give yourself some reaction time."

About this time we began a slide that caused a string of expletives from both of us. This is a brand new car!! I mentally checked all the air bags....in the door and in the dash. I probably would survive a crash. Joe got the car under control and slowed down enough for all the cars behind us to come around in the lane that was still covered with ice and snow. "See See!!" he rebuked me.

I was white knuckled as we approached Cincinnati and the dreaded Death Hill.

"Please pull over and lets wait it out" I began to plea.

He did not respond.

"Please. I do not want to go down the Hill."

Police cars and wreckers were everywhere. Cars were disabled on the side of the road, and in the shoulder on the left, unfortunately up next to concrete abutments to separate the North and South traffic.

"Please I am not joking, pull over."

"I can't get to an exit!! Do you not see the icy slush???!!!"

I began to cry. I don't know where it came from, I was so scared about going down that damn hill. If you have ever been traveling in that area, you know the hill I am talking about. It was at one time so steep that trucks could not make it up heading South. The entire area was re-constructed in the 1990's. It is still steep and scary.
Did I mention it curves?

"Pull over and let me out!!!"

"I will!! Don't think I won't"

I suddenly had this wonderful rush come over me. If he lets me out I will kill him. If he deposits me on the side of an Interstate in the midst of a horrific snow/sleet storm, I will divorce him then I will kill him. My next thought was this.......

"I will cut my hair!! Yes, I will cut all my hair off because I love it very short."

Just at the moment of hair liberation we began the descend down the Hill to the Ohio River. I closed my eyes and began to pray.

We made it!!!

Only to come up next to a snow plow that was throwing a wall of blinding snow at us the moment we came behind it!

"We're dead." Joe stated as he began to break and then the string of expletives again.

We somehow made it around the truck.

After clearing the Cincinnati area, the weather was less severe. Things were not as intense and the roads were clearer. We were able to relax. Relax after over two hours of skidding and cussing.

Joe looks over at me and laughs, "Do you think I would really put you out? I couldn't bear to see you standing on the side of the road with you skimpy little coat on."

No...he would have been dead!