Tuesday, January 18, 2005


(I struggled today with whether I should be posting pictures of people without their permission. (As if it ever stopped me before.) This particular picture is over 30 years old. And, if I were him, I'd be flattered that someone had a crush on me in High School. After all, look at him! ....)

Fast forward to High School. A little background is needed. I went to a Catholic High School located in a city I did not live in. This High School had six elementary schools that fed into it. A total of only 400 students at that time. I knew only two people at the school the first day I set foot across the ugly faded blood red doors that led into the foyer adjacent to the front office. Neither of them were in my class. I was on my own....not for the last time in my life either.

I cannot remember the first time I saw him. If I could remember that moment, I'm sure that I was struck deaf, dumb and blind by his radiant beauty. His golden hair, his penetrating blue eyes, his slightly klutzy manner. He was a god. I referred to him as THE DOG to all my closest friends. They all knew I was severely crazy over him. I worshiped him from afar. I hung around the hallway closest to his homeroom just to catch a glimpse of him. I was so in love with him that I even joined the track team to be close to him.

He was two grades ahead of me and he was my world for two years. No one else mattered. The fact that he never knew I existed did not phase me. If he ever looked at me, which I am certain he did because who cannot notice someone worshipping you all the time for two years, I froze like a deer in headlights.

The strongest memory that has survived occurred at the water fountain outside the gym. My best friend, Karen, rushed over to me during study hall with a DOG alert. Sent to me in the form of a note...."Dog sighting in office." I got excused out of study hall and ran to the water fountain to get a drink waiting for him to walk by. I waited and waited, the water running and running. I was there for what seemed an eternity before giving up.

As I turned, abruptly...he was right behind me waiting to use the water fountain. I came close to knocking him down which thank God I did not. The stream of water I spewed all over him was quite enough.

I thought I was going to die.

Years later at our 20 year reunion, one of my teachers Mrs. W. made the remark to all with in earshot. "That J.S.............I had such a crush on him!"

Et Tu.

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