Saturday, December 03, 2005
I WANNA BE A NASCAR DRIVER
I was reading Unhinged (and trying to comment! I have been trying to comment without success to anyone on Blogger! Guess my eyes are very, very bad if I can't make out those stupid letters). She was telling us she hated LA. And I guess the rest of the that is how much she misses home.
I am only four hours from home, yet I know what she means. Here it is Christmas time and I can't shop! I really can't shop. I know where to go, there is a Mall and there is one of those new fangled outdoor type malls, with all the right stores. As a matter of fact, some of my favorite stores are represented there. Such as ULTA. Gosh, I love that place. Get to play with all the make-up before buying. Wish it were discounted, but you can't have it all. Barnes and Noble. Old Navy. What did we do before Old Navy?
But I had that all at home and so much more. I just knew where to go to get what I wanted. Its different here, I really have to hunt and search. I found this candy shop in town and went in to purchase a small box of chocolates for my best buddy Debbie in Florida. It's her birthday and I get tremendous pleasure from sending her a box of goodies each year! I go into this store and once inside I realize it is not what I thought it was. Yes, they did have boxes of chocolates, but you had to ask them to put a box together if you wanted their stuff. WTF. I commented to the lady how stange that seemed. I said that I frequented quite a few candy stores in Kentucky and how odd it seemed to have to ask for a box of their private brand. She said, "You haven't been here very long have you?" WTF. The she proceeds to tell me she knows the stores in Kentucky and they do not make their own. WTF. I have been in their kitchens!!!!!!! I have eaten enough bourbon balls to wind up in the bourbon ball hall of fame. I started to name names, Rebecca-Ruth, Old Kentucky Chocolates, Ruth Hunt, (to die for Blue Monday candy bar) and Schneiders (opera creams) in Newport. She did not say anything more to me other than, "$23.28"...I also got 1/4 pound of those luscious licorice assorts. (I love candy).
How many people will I offend it I say I hate this place. I hate it because it is not home. I know how unreasonable that is, how unreasonalbe I am being. But that is how I feel.
Today, I am behind a car driving the speed limit. Everyone here drives the speed limit! It drives me insane. While I was in Hell City I was told not to speed on the deserted desolate country roads, "they are everywhere" I was told. To hell with that. This is the flattest land outside of the desert and I am going to book it. It is like people are born with this innate gene that makes them drive slow....I mean the speed limit. It drives me crazy.
NASCAR was created in the South. We all have attended events at the drag strip. Hell, we all have taken a crack at the drag strip! We amuse ourselves on self made drag strips. I guess it is innate in Southerns to drive fast. For a variety of reasons. To outrun the cops, make it home before our parents, to arrive at the bootleggers before they close, to be at work on time.
Another thing that bugs the hell out of me, while I am on it, is how entire families go shopping together here. It's not like everyone is Amish and it is an event! I just got home from Walmart and it was a mad house. Families of five, six hell even families of eight were all shopping together and having a great time. I would never deny anyone a good time mind you. But at Walmart?
For God's Sake.