Funk 49

or....I need a Wife!

I vacillate from feelings of dread to a state of apathy. From rage to fear. From disbelief to surrender. The monstrous amount of responsibilities that sits on my shoulders will crush me if I allow it. Instead, I make lists, revise them, tear them up, begin anew.

Time is running out. Everything is settled in the other new place of residence. I am ashamed to say that I had a hissy fit of sorts at the Water Company, aka City hall. Did I mention I am moving into a town on the outskirts of Clarksville, and the entire population is under 1500? When they told me I could not write a check for the deposit, that I had to present them a Cashiers Check, a Money Order or Cash, or a combination of the three, I just lost it. $150 deposit!!!!! "What kind of water do you all have here? Ponce de Leon water?" she looked at me blankly, "The fountain of youth? That would explain the outrageous deposit! Can't you do a credit check or something?"

And from behind a partition came this voice, "You're in small town now".

I wanted to smack her face. What did that have to do with anything?

It got worse. At the electric company they told me my husbands social security number did not match his name, "That will be $240 please". He raged, not at them at me! I Must have given them the wrong number, they must have key punched it in wrong. This once happened with a credit card. It's the most embarrassing thing ever!!!

Well, I just hope the Social Security office can straighten it out.

Then I argued with the people at AT&T. My Razr is obsolete. Replacing the battery would maybe work for a while, but odds are it would just resume the problem I am having now. No matter how many times I told them it was not the original battery, that I had traded with my husband because he had problems with the battery and that he depended on his cell phone for his work so I traded...they only wanted to sell me a new phone. IE, one not obsolete, one that had a key board and no, they no longer carried flip phones. Obviously, technology has left me behind. I do not text all day and I do not check my e-mail all day, I do not live and die by a PDA.

Two years out of the work force and I am truly a dinosaur. Me and my cell phone.