Saturday, December 18, 2004


I know this is not a very flattering picture of Zorro. I took it while in Dublin earlier this year. We were in a mall type area, with open stalls of shops in the middle, traditional stores on either side. Zorro put these glasses on and goofed around. Stealing the scene from Multiplicity.

Marriage is hard. Him being in Newport is hard. My feelings become hurt. I guess I want him to be nicer to me and sometimes he just isn't. I have a ton of faults. I am trying to squelch the ones I can in regards to the family situation...our blended family. I know I can be more attuned to what is happening, and sometimes I am thick on purpous. I think that some dynamics are in play behind the scenes that I have no control, no knowledge of, just a hint of suspicion. I think B. tells things that are not true in relation to me. I assume she likes to play drama card, gain attention from her Mom...perhaps even the notion of loyalty is factored in. Anyway, I find it awkward that I was not considered part of the solution with her........It is beginning to sound ridiculous even to me.

Zorro left here with me angry at him. Maybe he does not know how he comes across. I just don't know if I trust him up there in Newport alone. I wish he were not so damn mean. I am on his side afterall.

Not making very much sense am I?

No comments: