Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Phase II

...and so I moved the big house from Jeffersonville Indiana to the smallest town ever (from now on when ever referred to as STE..not to be confused with STD) and then jumped into a car and headed to Memphis to move that apartment to STE. This has been labeled Phase II.

Upon arrival we knew that the sofa, lawn mower, refrigerator, washer and dryer and this acoustical guitar would not fit into the vehicle with all the clothes, pots and pans, clothes (did I mention clothes already!) exercise machine, pictures, vacuum cleaner...well, you get the picture.

So, we did what everyone is doing now, we used Craigslist. And we were very successful. My husband would be annoyed that his phone did not start ringing the moment he would exited Criagslist.

By the time he received the 100th phone call about the $50 Toro lawn mower, he was totally crazy.

Out biggest problem was the refrigerator. It may have had something to do with the fact it was raining relentlessly all day Saturday and Sunday. People said they were coming and then did not show. Our first price on Friday was $150. Saturday it was $100. On Sunday "LAST CHANCE" price was $75.

We cleaned the carpet and I spent over an hour in the bathroom scrubbing away at the caulking as if we made that hundred year old stuff look that bad! All I wanted at this point was to not let Louise, my landlord down. She said to me, "I know you are going to leave that apartment better than you found it." That is an understatement as I spent the first months desperately trying to eliminate the odor left behind by the trio of five pack a day smokers.

Then I posted her Kreepy Krawly on Craiglist - $150, paid $375 and only used two months!

"I am on the list at the library to learn how to use the computer", she confided to me, "I'm number 25 in line. I was number 37, so I am getting there. Lord, I'm 79 years old, they better hurry!"

We rode over to her house with the car loaded up with the last of it and handed over the keys.

"Do you still have that refrigerator?" she asked and we nodded that yes, unfortunately we did. "Well, I can't give you $150 for it, but I'll give you $125. I need to look at it first."

So we climb into the car and head back over for the inspection.

As she climbed out of her 2006 pale yellow Lincoln (watch out any body who happens to be driving south of Memphis!) she waved her readers at the half acre of lawn, "Did that grass need cutting when you all moved in?"

You have to imagine her southern accent dripping with those syrupy elongated vowels. Joe, peering at the enormous lawn as the torrential rains caused the neon green grass to appear to grow right in front of our eyes, said, "Why yes, I mowed it as soon as I moved in."

We proceeded into the kitchen where she opened the refrigerator and looked it over and nodded her approval that the deal was sealed. Then her attention turned to the stove, "Did this stove need cleaning when y'all moved in?"

I shrugged and mentally kicked myself for not scrubbing the pans under the burners as she lifted them up in disgust. "Well, I normally replace them anyway." As she moved out of the kitchen and into the living room to continue with the once over.

Once it was over and we had our deposit back and a second check for the refrigerator we were giddy with joy! Joe more so because Louise had not checked the windows. Joe, late one evening had the scare of his life. As he took out his small pistol for some absurd reason (I am not a gun person) and it went off (this is why I am not a gun person) and he shot through the curtain, the blinds, the glass, and the screen.

I can hear Louise now, "Was this bullet hole here when you moved in?"


Lisa :-] said...

She noticed the dirty stove but not the bullet hole? Well, hardly the white glove treatment...LOL!

Debbi said...

I am laughing out loud! Thanks! I can't wait for the confessions (I'm catching up), but have to come back later to savor them. Happy Mother's Day!