Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Bruised Orange

The trouble with trying is that you may try too hard. The trouble with trying too hard is that you end up with a ton of "posts" in your draft file. Nothing is good enough, nothing works, then you become self conscious and insecure, then you stop entirely.

That is how you end up with inactive account. I.E. R.I.P.

I really enjoyed the freedom that I allowed myself in January when I was just trying to write a daily post. I would throw up anything and just be happy with it, grateful that I was able to put the proverbial analog pen to paper and have some success.

I don't know why I can't share or expound or observe with careless abandon!

The beauty of writing is that it is self satisfying. I am driven because I have to write. I am hesitant because I have concerned myself with censorship. I do not keep a hand written journal any longer and that is a crying shame. The truly good stuff, the writing with horrendous spelling mistakes, the flow of "no one but me is going to read this" beauty is lost FOREVER.

The down and dirty truth of the matter is that I am secretive about my blogging. Why? Who knows! It's not like I am exposing anyone or anything. I have spent so much time, put so much into it and I have/had no plans for it other than an on-line diary of sorts and I can't even do that anymore.

I ramble because I have a husband who is trying to download music from Amazon and it is a bitch because we are too old to know anything about PAYING FOR DOWNLOADS. Now when we paid a one time subscription for MP3 something or another (before they shut it down) it was a cinch. Now I am sitting here, trying to fill in the time of an hour and ten minute download (OMG!!) by rambling.

Kind of like Bruised Orange.


Nelle said...

I buy Itunes. Do you have an Ipod? The price has come down drastically on them. I make my own MP3s, or used to. Just bought ADele's CD for my car and will have to make MP4s. Those downloads take less than a minute. We are old dogs but still learning new tricks!

thegirlfriendmom said...

Holy crap- I was just thinking about this. The writing, the exposing, why it's so hard to just write, all of it! So what do I do? Read others. Glad I did.


I understand about the writing. Same thing happens to me. That is why I only post once a week, takes the pressure off. What you see is what you get? Raw or not. can't help you with the download thing. We are really old dogs here still using CD's. LOL GOOD LUCK! Take care.

Donna said...

Well, your title on this one drew me like a magnet, since I'm a big fan of John Prine. I usually just do something I know is mediocre rather than let my blog sit there and fade away, because I have noticed that when I don't post regularly, I lose readers.
Have you ever done the "Where I'm From" thing? I did a rerun of one of my old ones a while ago. If you haven't, you should do it. Or, if you have, you should do it again. Something tells me you'd have a great one.

Lisa :-] said...

I was in that same place--just sitting down and writing...whatever--and it worked out okay. And I hope to get into that place again. I have been interrupted by a small home improvement project. But I plan on getting right back there. Now.