Friday, February 04, 2005


It was a wonderful time, it was a tumultuous time. It was a season of change for me. We shared a farm house with John's best friend, Tuck way way way out in the country side. Eventually we found a samll apartment in town and left. Days later Tuck was busted for growing ....well, let's say an unconventional garden!

We talked about getting married...eloping, but I was an ardent feminist at the time and thought marriage was unnecessary and actully a form of indenturment! I consented to getting married when we were ready to have children!

Memories from so long ago have a surreal quality that surrounds them. They are distorted and adjusted to conform with our fragile psyches. And our fantasies become reality as the years glide along.

I burned all my journals from that time. From before that time, and after. Only my sophomore year "Bible" survived. So, my recollections are the highlights, and the highlows. I never throw anything away (I just burn stuff) and I managed to find all his letters to me, including the letter he sent that made my friend cry. I am unable to read them. I just have them in a pile on the bed, they are emitting a very heavy aoura, but I just can not, not right now. Beginning this series, I just jumped in and now I find myself in a very deep retrospection mode.

Anyway..............I found an account that I had written many years later, actually a tally of events and I share some of the (*ahem*) safer ones with you.

John walking through the door at 1201 Main St, unexpected and looking for a
place to spend the night. He had hitched hiked from Arizonia and had slept
under a bridge in TN until he was finally picked up.

Driving to his friends wedding in Oleans, NY. After the wedding, him asking
me to marry him.

The first time he asked me to marry him we were sitting in front of Tuck's
farm house in the middle of the night, just sitting in the VW and he asked me
to elope...right them, right now! (I should have!)

Going to a fire tower at the Land Between the Lakes and laying on the ground
in the black night and gazing at the stars.

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