LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES
ADDICTED TO LOVE (part XVI)
I was so homesick living in Texas. I met some very nice people, had an interesting job in the hotel business, had been to Gilley's several times (!)(Had the obligatory bumper sticker for years), met a handsome Latino named Stephan, yet I longed for home. Why is it that Kentuckians and Texans always call their place of birth "home"?
And so I went home. I landed in Louisville because of a job opportunity. I was able to stay with my brother and his wife for several months till I was able to get my feet underneath myself. My dear friend I had met at Murray, Cathy, also lived in Louisville and graciously offered to share an apartment with me and my one year old daughter. We found a place in the Highland Area of town, right off Bardstown Rd. in one of the classic old 1920 homes that are subdivided into apartments. We had the whole second story. A balcony on the front of the house and a wooden porch on the back. Five caveronerous rooms with a tiny kitchen and a small room for a nursery off of my bedroom. All hardwood floors and build in bookcase. One is hard pressed to find anything other than hardwood floors in the Highlands. All in all, we lived in three different yet similar apartments around bardstown Road in the years we roomed together.
Not to self....Never share an apartment with a best friend, it can strain the friendship.
Bridget was growing and was a handful at times. I was working full time, taking evening classes at the University of Louisville and trying to be a good mother to Bridget.
The trouble began innocently enough. Cathy is a very attractive woman, and very smart. She is witty, articulate, sarcastic, caustic and so much fun to be around. Men are drawn to her. Yet, Cathy has a dark side too. I can see her now, bored, chewing her finger nails and holding court with her many men. They came in droves.
When she was finished with them for some ungodly reason, they would turn their sights on me. Not everyone, but enough of them where Cathy became annoyed. We had a big blow up about it and I pleaded innocent! How in the world can I be held responsible for them! It was kind of funny, they would call Cathy and ask if they were allowed to ask me out. She would say, "Do what you want" and then not talk to me.
Actually I was not an innocent. I had very few opportunities to meet people outside of the classroom. My work was in an office with all women! Very difficult to meet anyone. I liked Mark, and we went out for several months. Then I liked Tom, we went out for several months. Then Dennis. He called right after Cathy yelled at me, and all I could do was laugh, because this one I really liked!
Cathy threw her arms up in the air and gave up! Dennis was not a potential boyfriend for Cathy, but an old pal who had been on the road playing drums for a band for years. He had just quit the bad and returned home (home as in Kentucky) for good. Does it get any better than this, a musician with beautiful long curly brown hair. A German Catholic from a big family!
But, he found Jesus and cut all his hair off! Is this the effect I have on men now? I was stunned and the romance fell apart. Then Cathy and I fell apart. She was able to purchase a home and was moving. I was about to be put out on the street. To tell the truth, I had some very hard feelings about it and left angry. In a way, so was she.
Again, someone left my life who had been a huge part of it for OVER 14 YEARS! She was there all freshman year in Murray, dancing up a storm Down South. She was there for all the John years, and there to help me put my life back together. She was there for everything for so many years and then she vanishes.
I have tried to find her. I want to find her especially now that I am immersed in this history, because it is also her history in so many ways.
In December Bridget and I went to the building she use to work in. That office was no longer housed there, but we were given directions to the new location. Once there, Bridget took over and told the security lady all about Cathy and how we were looking for her.....but to no avail. No one we asked had any knowledge or memory of this woman.
Her parents no longer line in the South End of Louisville. Her ex-fiance has had no contact with her either over the past decade.
I am so ashamed looking back that I wanted a boyfriend that could possible turn into a husband that I disregarded the best and closest friend I ever had. You can not replace people. As I have grown older I hope I have learned to be gentler with those I love.