There they were, a pack of old negatives with my handwriting of 30 years prior.....AROUND AND ABOUT MURRAY on the envelope. I took them to the photo developing service I use and asked to have them reprinted and put on a disc. Alas, the disc did not happen, and the reprints of 30 year old 120 film is pretty bad, but all in all I am on a magic carpet ride back in time looking at the finished product. The names of the guilty leap immediately to my lips. I say them out loud and enjoy the texture of each as they breathlessly become sounds in the air around me.
I have not changed much. I still have those puffy eyes, though from lack of sleep and not smoking dope.
This is spring 1975. Before I ditched school and headed to Arizona for three weeks with J.
Before I feel in love.
Before I lost that love.
Before I was a mother.
Before my car accident.
Before my having my child.
Before I was betrayed.
Before I realized my dreams were unreachable.
Before I realized my dreams were reachable.
Before I learned to dream and dream and dream in living color.