Thursday, August 11, 2005

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

I resigned from my job. After seven and a half years with the same company, I am now unemployed. I could not take it one minute longer at that Hell Hole of a Sales center. I tried my best, realized my weaknesses, began to read the Seven Habits of Highly Successful People and incorporate them into my work day. I got up earlier, worked harder, stayed later, did everything possible I could to "get it" but missed the mark.

I would come home at night and feel like I had been physically beat up. The constant negative feed back was eating me alive. Sucking the life out of me.

I do not feel anything anymore. No joy, no anticipation, no happiness, no interests, no humor, no exuberance, nothing. Just dread and sadness.

When I felt like I would rather eat Rat Poison than return I knew it was time to call Human resources and explore my options.

Being able to resign effective immediately was an option. The Labor relation guy told me they had gotten along without me before I arrived, they could cover the territory with me gone.

I never felt right in that position. The shoes! I dressed like a man rather that the sexy hot Mama I am. I felt like I had left working the front office and landed in the basement.

I still am in shock. My self confidence is in shambles. I am numb. I am going to take some time to heal from this horrible, dreadful, overwhelmingly awful experience. I think I will burn those shoes in effigy

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