Thursday Thirteen for January 26, 2012
First off, why is it that you never listen to your Mother? They can dispense the absolute best advice by sharing their life experiences. Yet, the irrefutable lessons we learn, the ones that truly reveal their innate universal validly, have to be understood the hard way. No one can tell you. You would never listen.
1) Never criticize, condemn or complain. This is like the mantra from the Dale Carnegie Training programs. Who likes to be around someone who is always complaining? I think I complain a lot, maybe not out loud so much, but in my soul. I do not like this situation and I realize it drags me down, compromises my happiness. I wish I could stop it and just accept things. Have you ever been around someone who is always criticizing? Or condemning? You just want to vacate the area.
2) All things pass. I try to remember what was bothering me at this time last year? Or last month? or three months ago? Sometimes I can isolate a particular incident, but on the whole the answer is no. So I try to tell myself not to get so upset by little things. Because unless it is death, taxes or love, it's a little thing. Everything else can be handled, maybe with drugs, but it's all going to be OK. (just joking about the drugs).
3) There is no relief in consuming large amounts of alcohol to make the pain go away. It does not work and only makes it worse. It only will bring on a terrible hang over and you may wake up in a ditch. Or worse, have a Grand child with a dog collar. (I love that commercial!)
4) There are no do overs in life. So when it comes to your kids, make them the most important focus of your life for their first 18 years of life. When they go to college - let go for god's sake.
5) Don't give advice unless asked for it.
6) You do not know it all so don't act like it. You do not have to be right all the time. Do not correct someone in public or point out how ridiculous they sound! If you know the Beatles were not inducted into the Rock-N-Roll hall of fame the first year and they insist they were, just say you must be wrong (even though you just heard all about the it the night before on The Heavy Metal Show) and tell them you need to look it up on the Internet. Sometimes it just feels OK to know you are right.
7) Be able to say, I'm sorry I was wrong . Mean it. Do not say, "I'm sorry, but...." just say, "I'm sorry, my bad." This also makes for a happy marriage.
8) Sleep on it. Do not jump on anything, even if it seems a sure thing. Even if you think you must react immediately - sleep on it.
9) Trust your gut. Your subconscious knows things. All will be revealed in time.
10) Listen to people, what they are really saying sometimes is hidden in between the words. Have you ever been taking to someone and to see if they are listening you stop before the punch line or the climax or the summation of bringing it all together? You leave it hanging? Just to see if they will say, "So? Then what happened?" Or if they will say, "OK see you later" and walk off. I swear, I try not to be that person who does not listen. Too much good stuff is given to you , like a gift if you only ask. If you only listen. So I think one of the most important lessons, if not the most important life lesson one can learn is how important it is to listen to others.
11) Never underestimate the power of a kind encouraging word. Saying "Thank you" or "You do that so well!!" goes a long way. I remember last summer when I was trying to run again and was really struggling and soooooooooooooooo slow. As I labored in the 100 degree heat on the paths in Shelby park a young high school kid running with a pack of high school kids whizzes by me and says, "Good Job". I really needed that. So, be a blessing to someone.
12) Don't take yourself too seriously. Life is too much fun.
13) Love is everything.
These are in no particular order! For more Thursday Thirteen go here!
10 comments:
Brilliant Mary. Great summation and I sure wish I had known so much of this when I was younger. The part about giving your child the attention until their 18 I knew even then. When my son was 16 and got leukemia I never had regrets about not doing things. That was a great consolation to me. You are very wise my friend...but I already knew that.
I still struggle with #6. I want to help, I want to fix, and I want to make everything better. But I have to remember that while that's my intention, I often sound like a pushy know-it-all, and I'm not helping at all. This was a good reminder.
Like your thirteen. You are a wise woman, Mary.
What a GREAT list!!!
I have two quotes on worrying in my list this week, one is mine and the other is anonymous. I often have to remind myself not to jump to conclusions.
#4 and #9 so true!!!
TERRIFIC words of wisdom. LOVE them all but particularly Number 8. It has my name on it. I have had to learn over the years to SLEEP on it. Too many decisons made in haste or anger clung too have ruined so many other moments. Now I wait to resolve issues. LOVED this post. Take care.
#8 and #9 are both good things to remember . . . and hard things to remember when you pair them up!!
And, of course, never forget either of the last two :)
Terrific list! I will have to keep coming back and reading as a reminder. Number 2 hits home. Love number 4, 8, 9, 10 all the way to 13. If only kids would pay attention then when they grew up they wouldn't have to say, "I wish I would have listened." Or, speak for myself. :-)
Great list with lots to think about.
Interesting to me that you preface this as advice from mother then the first suggestions is never criticize. My mother can't let much of anything go without criticism. It's advice she should take to heart.
I feel deeply what you say about complaining in your soul. I have done a LOT of that in the last few years and wish it would stop. I think that comes from the things that happen over which you can't control but have immense impact. These are the things that really drag you down in life. It's a hard one....
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