January 19th's Thursday 13

UNDERGROUND RESUME

My Dad held two jobs after graduating from Graduate School. One with Standard Brands and then with IBM.

My Husband has had three jobs since graduating from High School (he attended some college in between job one and two), the FBI, (1 year) the Sheriff Dept. (1 and 1/2 years) and then the Rail Road (ever since).

I, on the other hand, never have seemed to have found my niche, my calling, my place it the world of the gainfully employed. I am always searching for that elusive perfect job.

And so, thirteen jobs/careers that I have held and embarked on in the hopes of finding that perfect fit since High School. And so here is my underground resume.

1) Lifeguard at the Country Club - This happened because I was not rehired as a life guard at the private swimming club, home of my swim team and illustrious star studded spot under the sun as a cracker jack at the back stroke. I had been fired the previous year, right before the end of the season, for heading to Lexington to get a grilled cheese sandwich at Frischers with that bad trouble maker and dear friend and owner of the black bug (in my header) and was late for work. Roger, the manager that summer (how do I remember these names???) was not playing that day and fired my butt. The next summer I thought all would be forgiven but it was not. I found myself getting my suntan at the Country Club that summer. Yet, I met two very important and influential people who had a major impact on my college life - CF and Ginny. We all were destined to head to Murray in the fall.

2) Clerk at the hosiery counter at the now defunct Wolf Wile Department Store - home from college for the Christmas break. Marched to down town Lexington and secured a position at the little bitty hosiery and glove and stationary department. I remember the ladies name was Paulette and she had platinum blonde hair that she wore in a bun. I think she must have been in her sixties, but I was only 18 so she might have been in her 40's. (hahaha) She thought I wore my dresses too short!! My first and only dabble in retail until recently.

3) Waitress at Shaker Village - summer of freshman year. I dressed up like a Shaker and was paid minimum wage - no tips. It was quite an experience and I gained five pounds! I found out about real cooking! I had heard about it. I knew it existed. But was unfamiliar with it until that summer, my only experience being my Mom's cooking and the cafeteria food at High School and college. I still have my Shaker Cook Book and still make the peanut butter cookies. Best ever! Lemon pie, eggplant casserole, corn sticks, and squash souffle .... on my.


4) Telephone Operator - One summer in between attempts to be a college student I signed on as a temporary operator because the regular operators were on strike! We crossed the picket line daily. This was the old days of answering calls with those cords! A call would appear as a light on the board and you would plug in. They would tell you what they wanted, a collect call, a person to person call (ah, the good old days) and you would put it through by documenting the numbers on an information card, by plugging in a second cord and dialing the number, noting the time (by a time stamper?) and making the connection and moving on to the next call. I would try to complete the most calls of everyone in an hours time. Can not remember if I ever succeeded. I excelled at the pay phone calls, because no one wanted them so they were readily available on the in bound. I quit when it began to interfer with my social life.

5) Tax Preparer - My Dad and I went and took the four month class together to become qualified to do tax returns. I did them for two years and to this day consider myself some sort of tax guru. I am trouble with the IRS. Go figure. Damn those computers. My Dad did taxes for Senior Citizens for many years after that.

6) Bar Maid and Bar Tender - this part of my life probably lasted way too long but was also the most fun I ever had working. Working?? Ha! It was very much exciting and I made very much money. I found out I had a really good head for remembering drinks. And subsequently remembering.(That was then, this is now) A table of six would come in and I would get their order, Tom Collins, Rusty Nail, Jack and Water, Bud, coke and a Tequila Sunrise. I never had to ask again. I would just go near the table, make a circular motion to indicate "another round?" and if they nodded yes, or held up a near empty glass I never had to ask what they were drinking. I just knew. If they came in days, weeks, sometimes months later I'd just know! "Here comes Crown royal and coke". No one had a name, actually, just what they drank.

7) Night Auditor - this was when I learned I had a knack with numbers! I did this all one summer at the Astro Village Holiday Inn in Houston. I lived in Texas for a year during a particularly stormy period in my life, but a good one in the long run.

8) Accounting Clerk - nine years of my life working the Corporate grind. I went to school in the evenings and finished my college degree. One of the accomplishments I am most proud of. But I wasted away in this office. But, the good up side, I had a fabulous collection of shoes and clothing!

9) Car Salesman - This was the job that made me tough! I worked with all men because Susa got fired. Thinking back I realize that I took enormous strides in my personal development having to stand up for myself among the sharks. It was the stuff sit com's are made of. I truly wish I had kept a detailed diary/journal of this ten month period of my life.

10) From Car Salesman to Chemical Sales - Industrial Supply Sales. My training was absolutely top notch. I was taught every trick in the book to make someone go, "What just happened?". When I interviewed with the Beverage Company and on my final interview, he held up a pen, handed it to me and said "Sell me this pen"..........I smiled and knew I had that job. And I sold him that pen, "I'd buy anything you're selling" Crazy Eddie said at the end.

11) Newspaper Employee - I worked for two newspapers! In the circulation department at one and the Advertising Department in the other. Neither worked out.

12) My beloved Beverage Company - Yes, I was a Coke pusher.

13) Elvis World - in the retail department. It could be worse I suppose. At least I meet people, odd people strange people fascinating people everyday. Case in point; Yesterday I was minding the shop in the Part III of Elvis World when two ladies rushed in. May I help you? Yes, I am looking for a TCB charm. So I showed her what I had, nothing that she was looking for because I only have trinkets and trash and only a smattering of the Real Deal. "I gave mine to Clinton" she tossed off this remark like a used tissue. Of course I bit "President Clinton?" "Well, he wasn't President yet, he had just won the Texas primary. Do you know he was more excited about that TCB pin!!"


I can't make this stuff up.