Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Be Prepared! Be Very Prepared!

Believing I had a job interview scheduled for Thursday I was surprised when I checked my e-mail late yesterday afternoon and there was a request to change it to - gasp!!@@##@**- today! I had a lot of scrambling to do because being the procrastinator that I am, I thought I had plenty of time to be prepared! The Girl Scout Motto, isn't it? Be prepared? I think I have made a mistake, along with long history of my mistakes, and it is actually the boy scout motto - but it fits. Always be prepared. Good words to live by. And die by.

I was not prepared to go to a job interview early in the morning. I thought I could find a hair stylist today or tomorrow. Yet, I found myself in front of the bathroom mirror trimming up my hair. Thank God the chopped unsymmetrical look is not all that uncommon.

The jacket I was planning on wearing looked good, but when I slipped it on I realized it was so very, very, very 1990-ish. All the way to the puffy padded shoulders. I whipped out the trusty scissors again and snipped out the pads and the jacket entered the 21st century, even if it now looked a little big one me. Looking big is better than padded.

In some weird bizarro world way, I really like the retail job I am working in the meantime. It allows me to be extremely nice to people, which is my true nature anyway. And the folding and refolding of shirts and tee's is very zen-like and relaxing. There is always something to do. Check the bathrooms, fold some tee's, face the candles, sort the stuffed animals, clean the finger prints off the windows. I'm a natural.

But, the pay stinks.

Maybe this other job will fall into place.

After all, I was prepared.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Let the Pictures Do the Talking

My New Hometown


You are greeted by a HUGE PINK ELEPHANT at the crossroads that lead to Tiny Town.


Across the State Line...where is Rock City?



I was a day late getting here and the grass that had threatened to overtake the run down and abandoned church had been cut...ruining the effect I was hoping to capture. Maybe in a few weeks....

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Sepia Scenes



Brought to you by Sepia Scenes.

Ah New Haven. Not the New Haven you think, but the New Haven I called home for two years while living in North East Indiana. It actually was an area of Ft. Wayne, a Rail Road town that given time will grow on you. It is not uncommon for Joe to say "I wish we had never left" and I nod in agreement.

Retrospect is everything, isn't it? I would still be employed by the Beverage Co (and would have received my 10 year award!!dang!) and he would not have gone through the terrible year in Lou. working for a supervisor that nearly killed him...oh well,it is all in the past now. We have moved on.

I have found a job with a major restaurant chain in their Retail area. The orientation began yesterday. Four of us were being inducted into the Corporation and having the Employee Handbook read to us in between watching videos from the 1980's and eating our one free meal.

I am the oldest of the group of four. Out of the group of four, two are college students, three are women, one is a musician, and three are from Indiana.

Coincidence?

I think not. Hoosiers are taking over the world.

I continue to look another job that does not require me to work week-ends but I am relieved all the same.

Friday, June 19, 2009

I scream! You scream!

We all scream! For ice cream!

Picture this....trying to loose 20 pounds by pounding an elliptical machine but cruising through the Dairy Queen Drive Thru and asking, "Do you have the Candy Cotton Blizzards yet?"

And being told, "No, not yet."

Please please please! I love those things. What is it they use for that candy cotton flavor? Sort of like hot rocks...sort of not. What ever, I love it.

Long ago summer was officially announced by the sounds of the Mr Softy Truck approaching your street, driving very slow, allowing all the kids within hearing distance - and us kids had the ears of German Shepherds back then - enough time to run home and beg, cry, thrown ourselves on the ground and pound the floor for that one thin dime that would purchase a sprinkle cone.

They were gigantic cones with a little twist on top.

When my daughter was young the Mr Softy truck was replaced by a Popsicle man who flew through the neighborhood so fast you had to think he was meeting his drug connection at his apartment in a half hour.

No sooner would Bridget come running into our humble abode and shake me down for fifty cents for some sort of Bomb Pop, and back out on the street returning in minutes with tears in her eyes that she had missed him.

Poor baby. Hopefully he would swing back by and all the little kids who missed him would be waiting with their money clutched tightly in their sweaty hands.

It's officially summer.

The last Popsicle I bought was for a the little kid of a friend. Nothing says summer quite like the stained face smile of a child sucking the red white and blue off of a Bomb Pop.

On, Mr. Softy, will you please come back?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Sepia Scenes



Once again it's time for Sepia Scenes. How does a week pass so quickly?

Long ago, too many years to even estimate now, I "bought" my first digital camera with "company bucks" accumulated through a promotion and then used in a gift book. I was reluctant to join in the digital craze that was taking over the country as I loved my SLR Nikon and sometimes would take incredible pictures.

One of my friends tried to explain to me how much fun a digital was, what you could do with it, the programs available to refine the pictures, how digital was easier to store than film...and on and on and on.

Once I had that little premium camera in my hand, I never have once touched my old Nikon, except to move with all the other crap I have accumulated in my life time that I can not live without....

Anyway, this picture was from those first days of fooling around with the new technology. The freedom it gave you to take pictures of anything you damn well pleased...this was one of the results, now in Sepia. (because my friend was right all the time!)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Catholic School Girl Confessions Continued - Part III

Riding the Bus Home

After assembly in our homerooms and the official calling into the office for your smacks on the ass if you had misbehaved intolerably, the announcements for the next day and blah blah blah, the bell would ring and you were sprung free for the day.

We erupted through the two back doors of the building like projectile navy blue vomit the scene much like most high schools, I imagine. You either climbed on the bus, jumped into a car and burnt rubber out of there, or found your mother and/or someones mother and carpooled home.

I, for the first two years, climbed on one of the three city buses - since we were a private school we did not have Big Yellow Buses at our disposal, I believe they contracted with the city - got my ticket punched and found a seat among the yelling, screaming, writhing, gyrating teenage soup of blue and white. Usually I sat with Laura or Josie and endured the ride downtown. It was always an ordeal, no matter what.

I have blocked it from my memory.

Once downtown the bus deposited us at the corner of Broadway and Main. There was a 5&10 situated there and we would either slip in there for a coke, or go across the street to the bakery to purchase a cookie to split between us.

Downtown is where most kids transferred to other city buses to carry them home to their final destination.

But not me.

Oh No.

I trudged on down to the other end of Main Street and turned north, maybe I would turn north after going into the record store and checking out all the new LP's that arrived that week, then I would turn north and head up to the Greyhound Bus station.

Yes, my mother would not travel the 15 or so miles each afternoon to collect me from a school she was forcing me to attend. Oh no, she made me ride the Grey Hound Bus home each and every afternoon until I was a Junior.

My freshman year I was accompanied by K. K. was several years older than me and he too endured the ride on the Greyhound to Mayberry just for the privilege to attend Catholic High School. He was my partner in crime for that one year.

I never laughed so hard as I did with him on those rides home. I laughed until my sides ached and my jaws hurt. I am certain we disturbed every adult who rode on the that bus with us. At 3:50 it would leave the station and head towards Mayberry with a stop here and there along the way.

No one was spared our scrutiny and our obnoxious observations. We were brutal in our assessments of the people we rubbed shoulders with briefly and, unfortunately for a few, daily. We threw stuff at each other, we rehashed our day at school in high voices, we talked about our peers at school and what devious deeds they had been up to that day and then laughed like hyenas.

We cringed in horror at the grease spots on the windows that some poor soul, just trying to catch a few winks, would lay his head on the glass and dream. We would push each others head at the stains and shriek in disgust.

My friend K. can recite the entire itinerary as given over the loud speaker in the station. He remembers a lot more than I do. He rode the bus a total of three years, I only two. He remembers certain riders that climbed on daily with us.

Why they did not get us permanently kicked off I will never know. Maybe people were more tolerant back in those days.

K. would get off miles from town, at a country intersection where his mother waited in their family station wagon. He would ring the bell, stumble down the aisle because I more than likely tripped him and exit, leaving me alone, the bus oddly silent. Blessedly peaceful.

I would step off at the bus station in Mayberry and walk home from there.

I would see the Bus Station from time to time in Lexington and feel something tighten in my chest. Maybe it was the glimpse of the ghost of a young silly girl, in her navy blue sweater and pleated skirt rolled up at the waist, in her saddle oxfords and white bobby socks, running up the steps just barely in time to catch the bus, tears of hysterical laughter running down her cheeks as she chased after her friend K, who had her Latin book held above his head and threatening to toss it.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

I want a new Drug

As I was pounding away on the elliptical machine listening to the music I had downloaded the first few minutes thinking I was not going to make it today, that maybe today I would just go over 20 minutes then quit. 20 minutes is good, 20 minutes is fat burning. 22 minutes is better, then when I open my tightly closes eyes, pressed so close together that if I try to see the time it is only blur, and if that blur says I have passed the 20 minuets mark, then I am almost half way to the 45 minutes I really want to ....reach.

My eyeglasses are perched under the screen that tells me how hard I am pumping, how fast I am going, how high my pulse is reaching, how long I have been sweating.

I think that Joe took the money he received from his first bonus as an officer in 2006 and bought this machine. He researched it on Consumer Report, did his homework. He could have purchases a cheaper one but went with this model and three moves later, it remains the Thoroughbred of fat burning machines. As many times as I have tried to destroy it, it triumphs.

And I keep on keeping on.

I remember how the runners high feels. A euphoric cushion of well being, of floating, of all things being almost perfect.

One night, many years ago Joe and I ran in our first 5K race on the downtown streets of Lex on a steamy August night with 5000 other runners. He was/is faster than me and as I approached the final stretch to the finish line he came bounding out from the crowd and made me run faster, faster and faster to finish the race. God Good what a feeling to finish your first race!

It was such an incredible high. It is a feeling that is akin to leaving your body and being just a little bit above you, hoovering and not with you anymore, but still within reach...

A runners high.

I pump those pedals and marvel at how my knees do not scream at me and how my mind says, "No not this song - yea this one- no next one - "

And then I am over 40 minutes and feel a flush of exhilaration and satisfaction and for two minutes flip through songs trying to find that last one, that last three minute song to bring it home....

And then I find it, Huey Lewis, "I Need A New Drug".

And I realize that I have.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

The First Five Pounds

Coming up with something to write about daily is a real chore. This morning I had a thought and then lost it. Maybe tomorrow.

But, I have lost five pound so far, and it might be more as I have this crummy scale I bought a Goodwill for $2.00. I realized I had left our digital scale in Ft. Wayne, tucked beside the washer and dryer I left with the house. I could read that scale from my five feet five and 1/2 inches. I can not read the scale now, as it is too far away for my reading glasses and the long distance glasses just barely miss the mark.

But, if I bend down and balance myself and be very very still, it looks like five pounds. And could be more, because I was into it a good two weeks before I dared look at a scale.

Clothes are beginning to look different on me. Just a little. But it's enough to put a song in my heart and get me on the elliptical machine five days a week.

Thank God for the MP3 player.

Who the hell are the Black Keys? Don't know, but they were recommended by Rolling Stone and I love them! All two of them.

When I loose another 10 pounds (which I hope will be in the next six weeks) I am going to take up running again. If my old knees will agree. I've truly missed it.

There is a 10K in Lex the 4th of July....it's possible.

As all things are possible.

Friday, June 12, 2009

A Love Affair with Candy

I inherited a sweet tooth. A double whammy sweet tooth, as each of my parents are Irish and there is something about the Irish and their sweets. My father would pour three spoonfuls of sugar into this coffee each morning. We had to watch him, as he grew older he tended to loose count. Every evening, after dinner and seated side by side in their Electric Chairs (as my mother refers to them, as the seat raises to help you out), watching a western – as my father loved Westerns – my Mother would whip out her box of chocolates and offer the box to my Dad, who would take two, then Mom would take two and if you happened to be there, you would then be offered the box and you could take two too.

Every Christmas, Easter, Mothers Day,and Birthday she receives several boxes of confectionary delights, and at two pieces apiece, they last awhile. Now that Pop is gone, they last longer, but I think she now has three…one for him!

Bourbon Balls are my Mom's favorite. As a child I remember the Rebbecca Ruth bourbon ball’s box were housed in a round container, the balls stacked on top of each other. Mom would “hide” the box high up in her closet. As a little kid, I would push a chair to the closet and find that box, extract one and gnaw the chocolate then dispose of the bourbon soaked cream candy center. It was yucky back then to my child taste buds. Now a days, the more bourbon, the better!

When I was a kid there was a corner store in each neighborhood. The store would have a soda machine outside the store on the porch and on the inside were the basics one needed if one did not want nor need to make a trip to the A&P downtown. Milk, bread, canned veggies, and an ice cream cooler, a Coca Cola cooler in the back that held those 6oz. glass bottles and a large glass deli case with sandwich meats and where you could also have one made for you.

But the big attraction, the only reason I ever went into the store was for the candy!

The cash register sat on a wooden counter that held the gallon jars of pickles and pickled eggs. Behind the counter, running all along the back and around the window sill were the candy jars. Full of penny candy! Hot balls, pixie sticks, cinnamon balls, licorice, chocolate gold coins , chick-o-sticks, bazooka bubble gum, smarties, wax bottles, jaw breakers…everything you can imagine. The candy bars were displayed under the penny candy. Baseball cards, Red Hots, Mounds, Hersey bars, Zagnuts, Peppermint Patties,Good-N-Plenty, candy necklace, Pay Days, Sugar Daddy sucker, Necco’s, cigar bubble gum, Slo pokes, candy cigarettes -some even puffed out smoke!, red vine licorice twists, Boston Baked Beans, Turkish Taffy - in strawberry , vanilla, chocolate & banana which you would put in your freezer and then crack on the table making it split into pieces, Neapolitan coconut slices, Heath bars....I think that's about it.

Anytime you found a penny or -The God's are Smiling!- a nickel, we would run down to the store and slap down our loot, choose and point.

There was one candy bar that cost more than a nickel (remember, this is when dinosaurs roamed the earth). The Blue Monday, the ultimate of all candy bars, cost a dime! It was a large (back in the day I remember it being much larger than it is today) chunk of pulled cream candy covered in a semi bittersweet chocolate made locally. It was so sweet, I could not eat it all at once. It came in a shiny silver wrapper with blue lettering. You would slit one end open and when you could take no more, you would slide it back in and save it for later.

It’s a wonder I have any teeth left. I still love a Blue Monday every now and then and lament they are smaller than before. But rejoice that they still taste the same.

Like Childhood.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

What I Hide In My Trunk

Everyone knows I am looking for a job. I am looking the way I have found every single job I have gotten in the past 20 years. That is, through the paper/want ads. It is not the want ad's any longer, but Career Builder, Whatever City Help Wanted.com, Company web sites, and numerous web sites I have found along the way.

I have written letters to people I know with my resume asking for help. This worked okay, I received 4 leads from 10 letters, but then I thought I was moving to Memphis to save my marriage, and it ended up being the Nashville/Clarksville/Ft. Campbell area.

My frustration is immeasurable.

I went to a Job Fair in Nashville and ran across another ex-Beverage employee, same company, different subsidiary. She was laid off from Waste Management after leaving Major Beverage Company. Major Beverage Company asked her to come back and she said no. I said, "May I send you my resume to pass on to your boss? I know they prefer to hire someone who knows what they are doing rather than having to train someone".

Never heard back from her. Need to contact her again.

I was in tears the other night over a conversation I had with my sister. We were yakking away about Joe's new job and the area and she said that her husbands father did some contract work for a Major company in this area. "That is Joe's biggest account here!" I exclaimed.

"One of the men from the Company is on the BOD for Joe's company in Lexington."

"I know! He sat at our table at a fund raising dinner for the mayor!"

"His name is P*** M***** and he came to our wedding."

"What!! You're telling me this major officer in L**** Corp. is a friend of yours!! Darling! I will have to call him and chat him up!"

"Please don't use my name."

WTF?

I was crushed. Joe keeps telling me that I am the only sane sister in my family. Ha! The part that truly hurts is that if the tables were turned, I would have taken time off from work to help her out.

A company that does direct sales and was going to hire me on the spot. I was suspicious! For several reasons. First, they were selling air purifiers and air in their office was putrid! Cigarette smoke so state that the Marlboro Man himself may have lit one up there. I was told how much money you can make at this company. Let me say this, they did not look like the epitome of success. I'll leave it at that.

Oh, just to add this. I interviewed in the training room and was looking at the dry erase board and read this...

Step One
Create repoir

Repoir?? What the hell -rapport?- even I, the worlds worst speller, knows that is wrong!

So, what do I have in my truck?

Employment applications for Cracker Barrel, MacDonalds, TJ Maxx, etc. etc. And I have filled them out and am returning them.

I am ashamed to think that I am now trying to land a minimum wage job. And I am equally ashamed that I will be thrilled if I am offered one!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

At the Ballet



It's another Sepia Scenes Wednesday.

I'm not too sure this works as well in sepia as it does in color, but I wanted to use the photo this week. I love the way the little girl in the foreground is taking a break from the dance and how the other three year olds are doing their own thing.

And I like the motion going on with the girl to the left.

This is my grand daughters dance class that had a 40 minute recital Sunday. 40 minutes y'all! The last dance recital I went to lasted all afternoon. All After Noon. At my daughters dance recital, it went on all day. All Day!

Please check out the other's at Sepia Scenes.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Food Network Junkie

Sunday morning my Sister In Law and I watched Bobbie Flay BBQ, Guy’s Big Bite and finished it off with Rachel Ray. An hour and a half of mind numbing chatter, knives, blueberries on the grill, salmon, more BBQ sauce than you can shake a stick at, and seafood…blah blah blah blah.

We were fascinated and offered our own takes.

“I learn more stuff watching these shows. Have you heard of ceramic knives?”

SIL was not yet in a talking mood and just looked at me. “humprrrr” was what it sounded like.

But I do learn a lot and I love it. I am also in love with Guy, I want to run my fingers through his spiked hair. I want to ride in the red 1967 Camaro and visit the Diners Drive-in’s and Dives with him. I want to turn to the camera and say, “It’s money” and point at him.

I agreed with Rachael when she told me that she always makes her own BBQ sauce because that stuff you get at the store is usually just a lot of corn syrup.

I remembered my first batch of home made BBQ sauce. A friend of mine, from West Kentucky who knows a thing or two about BBQ, gave me a simple recipe a long time ago. Catsup, vinegar, honey/molasses and lemon juice.

It was so delicious that when we were finished the band-aid that I had on one of my fingers was missing – sure was good with that bar-b-que sauce-.

Tonight I did it again, only a little twist on the original basic West Ky finger licking good sauce.

One onion (a little smaller than a med) chopped up
2 cloves of garlic smashed and chopped
¼ c. vinegar
½ cup catsup
Big squirt of mustard
Worcestershire sauce - a good glop
Salt & pepper
½ c. light brown sugar
About ½ cup honey
Big squirt of lime juice (because I am out of lemons) (I would use a fresh lemon if I had one, the zest too)

I first put the onions and garlic in a pan with a glob of butter and cooked until nice and caramelized (I learned that word from Food Network!)Then I added the vinegar and cooked it until the vinegar was absorbed and very little moisture remained, maybe five minutes at most.



I put into a sauce pan and added the other ingredients and let it cook for about 1/2 hour until I had to stop myself from licking the wooden spoon.

It looked like this... (I had transferred it to a plastic container)

On to the grill for the charcoal cooking of the wings. I must have cooked them correctly because they never fired up. The sauce I apply at the end, after about 20 minutes, and coat one side, five minutes, turn, coat the other side, five minutes, then turn and coat, a minute or two, turn and coat again.

Remove and eat.

Thank God I removed all bandages before commencing to consume. Guy would have said, "That's money" if he had been here.

Monday, June 08, 2009

The Bathroom Incident

I knew I had to find the Ladies Room when I was at the grocery store across town. I thought the effort involved could be postponed until I arrived at the library. I knew exactly where they are located therefore no wandering around would be involved.

When I arrived, it was Code Red! I rushed into the large pink oasis of relief and flung myself into the first available stall. It was then I realized there was a ruckus going on down at the end.

A baby was crying pitifully. Wailing and hiccuping. It was painful to listen to. Added to that pain was the accompanying angry chatter that rode over the sobs.

"Stop it!"

"Be quiet!"

"Quit that crying!"

"It's nothing, look, it's nothing!"

The tone was harsh. The crying just continued and gained intensity. Her tone took on more force and I feared she was going to smack the child. I was feeling distraught and wanted out. Quickly. Sniffles and choppy breathing replaced the weeping. I wondered, knowing I had to be wrong, if the child was an infant. The pitch and rhythm sounded so much like a baby's.

I burst out of the stall thinking I wanted out so badly I would skip washing my hands. It was not so much the child's crying, but the unsympathetic tone and harshness of the woman's voice. There was another woman who had entered the bathroom and was washing her hands and I took the sink next to her and turned on the water. She tried to catch my eye. I avoided it looking for the towels to dry my hands when "She" came out of the last stall, she was very elegant looking, very beautiful, and yanked the paper towels from the container and began to run water over them and return to the still crying child. I turned to my left and had to lock eyes with the woman next to me. She tightened her mouth. I smiled at her, agreeing that I wanted to interfere with the scene playing out too, but felt it was not my place.

I went to the door to escape and another woman was entering and I stood back to allow her entrance. At that moment another woman came out of a stall, also witness to the wailing child incident, and rushed out the door practically knocking me aside, with out making any eye contact or apologies, skipping the hand watching ritual to break out!

It really was that heart breaking.

I returned the DVD at the opposite side of the room and was headed towards the door when She entered the library through the alarm door area. With no child! Oh, there he was, about 10 feet behind her!

He was a little tyke dressed in seersucker shorts with a little white button shirt. He was rubbing his eyes, a remarkably skinny child who looked exactly like Dill from the movie, To Kill A Mockingbird. Only a miniature.

She clearly was not his mother. A mother would not be in a public place ignoring her child, walking so far ahead of him, not holding his hand! They were of different races.

I thought to myself, "Is she the nanny?" That would explain the bathroom horror.

Just as I passed behind the child to exit, he said in a small voice, "I want to go to the Children's Room" and headed in the opposite direction of the woman.

I continued out the door and got in my car and laid my head on the steering wheel. I wish I had the nerve to give that woman a piece of my mind and give her hair a yank while I was at it.

Friday, June 05, 2009

Welcome to the Gang



It was over 40 years ago that Omega came into our family. This is the Motley Crew that greeted her arrival. Since I am so broke and really can't afford frivolous things such as real birthday cards any longer, I make my own by gluing photographs to blank cards.

I love this picture I dug up the other day. At first glance it is just a picture of five of us six kids and my Dad. As I really look at the photo I see so much more. First, when I dream about my Dad this is the way he appears to me 90% of the time. Young, happy, smiling, in black wing tips. I see my little sister dressed like a doll, she was the apple of my Grandmothers eye. In later years she and Omega would be dressed alike in dresses made by my Mom. My Grandmother, or Nana as we called her, taught my mother to sew on an old Singer sewing machine that still sits in the family room of Mom's (and Dad's) house though it no longer works. Just a relic that I am thinking of asking for and having repaired sometime in the future, hopefully when I land a job. Nana also taught me how to sew and the dress I am wearing in this picture she actually made with me! I am also wearing gladiator sandals, which I adored and loved and wore everywhere until I wore them out. My youngest brother is in the front, hogging the camera and since my Mom always took pictures with the sun behind her, we are either squinting or closing our eyes. My two other brothers are known as Irish Twins, born with-in 11 months of each other. They both wore glasses and had to have braces. How I lucked out with good eyesight (until I hit 40!) and relatively straight teeth is just pure Irish luck. Though one of my Irish Twin bro's threw a baseball at my face, a wild pitch, and broke my front tooth when I was in 6th grade. I'll never forgive him for that! Never!!

I loved that station wagon. It was a ford something or another and we had it for many many years. It had a super engine in it, since it was a Ford, maybe a 454. Joe could tell me, but he is not here. I do know that thing could fly! We would get it up to 100 miles per hour (we were teenagers!) and make the usual hour trip to Louisville in, oh, 30 minutes. I would always take the Station wagon for the drive through town, which was a loop from one Convenient store on the South side of town to the Dairy Queen on the other end of Main street. You would honk and wave at every one you knew who were also cruising the Main Drag. The station wagon was good for piling lots of bodies inside.

I can not place where we are, though it looks like the campus at UK with the dormitories in the back ground. What we would be doing there is also a mystery. I may show (give back) the picture to my Mom prod her memories. It could be the Airport.

I scanned this picture and then transferred it to a SD card so that I could print off a copy. It did not come out so good, so I went with my next selection...



.......... Omega in the Tweetie Bird pj's talking on the telephone. Omega was a precocious child, calling her much older friends at an early age.

I think she will like it. I think she will enjoy it much more than a store bought card. And I can not find the card of the little kid asleep (passed out) on the floor with an empty wine bottle clutched in his hand.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Evil is as Evil does

Yesterday I jumped into a car and made the three plus hour trip back to Central Kentucky for my step daughters graduation. I thought I would be home in plenty of time to think of something and then write about that something.

All I could think about was this. At 330pm yesterday I was unaware that my there was a graduation to attend. And all the way home (as I was out filling out employment applications and the such) I was upset and wrestled with knowing I was going to face either going on the unexpected trip or begging off. Going would be .... not only accepting that I was and always will be on the outside of my stepdaughters life...but rolling with what ever is thrown at me concerning my step daughter. By not going well, I just can't go there.

We arrived home earlier this afternoon and here I sit with nothing. I have nothing but a bag of resentment that simmers and can not under any circumstance boil over.

We have been together for 12 years and yet I am always on the outside. Some think I choose to pitch my tent here but the truth is that some stepmothers will always be the Evil Step Mother no matter what.

I wish I dared discuss it here.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Water Water Everywhere



It's time for another edition of Sepia Scenes.

Last week I mentioned the Cumberland River and while posting my entry for the week I thought, "I've always lived by water!"

Mayberry sits on the Muddy Kentucky River, well not actually on the river, but it is about 10 minutes away down a very windy road that descends into the Palisades, the magnificent walls of million year old limestone cliffs and dripping springs that turn into huge daggers of frozen ice cycles during the winter and gently deposits you on the floor of the verdant banks of the Kentucky.

Then it was the confluence of the Three Rivers in Ft. Wayne, the St Mary, the St Joseph and the Maumee. We lived very close to the Maumee which had the most magnificent River walk! I once got into hot water with the locals referring to the Rivers as Creeks (actually pronounced "cricks" in Kentucky)!

In Memphis it is the Mighty Mississippi and in Louisville (and when we did a short stint in Cincinnati) it is the Ohio.

Now those are Rivers!

The scene I photographed some time ago is a tug that sits on the Louisville side of the Ohio, seemingly abandoned and in need of a paint job.

The sepia tone would do the job nicely.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Like a Rolling Stone

In another lifetime I spent many years in this part of Kentucky, at the state college. It is located in the furthest reaches of the fertile crop lands and coal stripped plains, and it was there that I began my disastrous first attempt at higher education.


Since actively playing around in Facebook I have recently discovered the "gang" from way back then, when I was having the time of my life and flunking out of school, when time was not an enemy, the days were always bright and clear, the lakes were right around the corner, the keg parties were numerous, the joy of youth knew no bounds, I had no direction home, like a Rolling Stone.


I pulled out one of the Yearbooks I kept from that period (because I keep everything) and spent an hour or so Sunday afternoon leisurely turning the pages and recognizing the faces, whispering the first names to myself, or the nick names, then checking and 100% of the time I was correct.


People took getting their pictures for the year book so seriously! Some of them dressed up in suits. I wondered if their mothers requested this, as I do not think I knew anyone who wore a suit then. At least not that kind of suit. Yet, as I turned page after page I noticed some of the shenanigans that was taking place. I laughed at the number of people who had their pictures taken twice, in different clothing. There were many of them!


I especially lingered over this page......





I wouldn't go so far as to say I had a crush on one of them. Let's just say when ever I would see him on campus I would sigh and wish I was the sort of girl he would notice.

Many many years later, in Lexington at a honky tonk I worked, he walked in and sat in my section. I was dumbstruck that out of all the gin joints in the world, he would walk into mine! I came out from behind the bar and approached him and the party he was with, "Don't I know you from somewhere?" I asked. (Originality is my middle name.)

He looked up at me and said, "Isn't that suppose to be my line?"

As it was, he was married but asked me out anyway. I am proud to say, despite my disappointment, I declined or else this would a good story.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Revisiting Memphis

"Where are you all moving to?"

"Memphis!"

"Oh, you poor thing!"

This was the exchange I most encountered several months ago when I thought I was headed to Memphis. My husband had taken a promotion that required him to stay in Memphis and I stayed in Indiana, well because we had just moved there seven months before! Then he receives another promotion and is transferred to Middle Tennessee!

The thing about Memphis is all moot now, but for a city that inspires images of a gaiety on Beale Street, the duck walk at the Peabody, a trip to the most famous mansion on the Mississippi, Graceland, the best BBQ and an annual event in May to prove it, Memphis sure gets a bum rap when it comes to destinations for a vacation....unless you love Elvis.


Yesterday I was talking to a friend who was asking me about Memphis. He was asking me about the various landmarks one finds there, Graceland, Sun Studio, Beale Street, the Lorraine Motel. Had I been there?

Ten minutes later..........I concluded the impressions of my experience with a, "I can't believe that I retained all that!"

Fact of the matter is, both Joe and I were dumbstruck by the Civil Rights Museum at the Lorraine Motel. We spent two days immersed in the history that sits so close to downtown Memphis. First we toured the Lorraine Motel and the exhibits on the first day. The second day we crossed the street and entered the Boarding House where James Earl Ray rented a room on the second floor and waited for his moment.

I will not fill this post with the history of the events that unfolded in April of 1968, most of us know it well, but I will encourage anyone who visits Memphis to find the Lorraine and enter into one of most challenging times our nation has ever experienced. And in many ways we still are challenged.

Seeing the Freedom Rider's Greyhound, sitting on a replica of the city bus that Rosa Parks made history in, seeing the jail cell that MLK spent time writing a famous letter while doing his time, to look into the faces of those who gave their lives in the name of freedom just leaves you with a sense of the enormity of injustice and prejudice in this country and how far we have come.

Because if it were not for MLK and his rhetoric of change without violence, who met his end in the worst type of violence, riddled with hatred and controversy and shrouded in speculation and unanswered questions some 40 years later, we might not live in a country who can elect a black President.

When standing at the threshold, looking into the bathroom of the Boarding House and realizing that the window, that small square porthole that James Earl Ray balanced his rifle on the sill, one can feel the sorrow and shame that lingers there. Lingers from all the visitors that look and squint and realize that room 306 of the Lorraine sits across the street and on the April day, some 40 years ago, he squeezed the trigger.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Be Bold - And Mighty Forces Will Come to Your Aid

I awake with the dream still imprinting on my sub-conscious state. I was interviewing with a potential employer of the nontraditional variety. I met him somewhere in Surreal Land, being the altered campus of Murray State University as he left the Sig-Ep house. I caught up with him and began to spill out my best "elevator speech" and his cell phone rang.

He took the call and began to walk away from me. I followed him and the moment he ended his call I began again with the clumsy question, "Are you hiring at your company?" and he then gave me an on the spot skill assessment test.

I had to fill in the "a's" in a sentence and I was handed a large sheet of paper. I was momentarily caught off guard and had not listened to the sentence so that I could repeat it. I turned to my husband (who had materialized behind me and is always telling me I do not listen) and asked for him to repeat the sentence. He just shook his head.

I attempted the beginning and knowing it was useless began to plead my case to the potential employer. Making my excuses....

I awoke and upon opening my eyes this thought rushed into my head.....

"Get out of your comfort zone......"

And so, whatever that dream meant besides pay closer attention, today I embark on getting out of my zone. I have to shake off the longing for someone to call me and offer me a job...any job. I would wait tables as Crackerbarrel if they asked.

And I am going to step away from the computer. If it's on the job/career boards, then everyone and their Grandmothers are applying.

I must be Bold.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

I'm Always Home! I'm Uncool.

I am flip flopping with committing to the NANANANABLOGPOOPOO again. Basically, blogging daily for a month.

It will be good because I will become accountable even if to no one but the blog. I am realizing that if I have to report daily on several issues, the most pressing being the JOB QUEST, then I will have to schedule out my plans for the employment search instead of this willy nilly half hearted attempt at securing income intake. (income intake, I like that).

Also, I have determined I am unemployable because I have turned into an uncool old coot and need to shape up. Therefore I am undertaking the 100 day challenge, since the elliptical machine in the garage has thrown down the gauntlet, and I am going to loose this 20 pounds that is causing potential employers to discount me as a middle age old hag who does not take care of herself.

I am 10 days in! I am giving myself a break from the unrealistic goal of doing them consecutively. I have discovered that with the MP3 player I exercise with a lot more enthusiasm and vigor than listening to books on CD's. Those seconds were dragging into hours! With the switch I jumped from 22 minutes to 30 the next day.

As is my nature to allow myself to become totally distracted, I have been following with interest (and amusement) the press' attack on Susan Boyle. Amusement because they never once kicked old Paul Potts around but give them a lady and a middle age woman and they have gone nuts!

As I listened to her sing MEMORY from Cat's I just fell in love with the song. I'm certain I must have heard it before, but I also realize I am probably the only person who had never seen CATS. So, I checked out Elaine Paige singing the song and found myself crying.

For the love of God, what a beautiful song. (I also sobbed out loud when I saw Phantom of the Opera back in the day) and I have downloaded as many versions as I can find. Barbara Streisand is ....well, ..........

I found the original lyrics were changed because they were thought to be suicidal. They are heart wretchedly beautiful.

(Discarded Lyrics)

Touch Me, is there no
one to touch me
It was easy to love me
in my glamorous past
As I leave you a shadow of
the light I once as
May my memory sleep at last

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

City Cemetery Sepia Style



I find myself always looking for a shot for sepia scenes. Today I saw the cemetery on the hill overlooking the Cumberland River. I found the entrance and stumbled into this very old resting ground with a spectacular view. From the west, a thunder storm approached which gave a surreal feel to the surroundings, softening the light and the air was alive with electricity.

On the corner in the eastern corner stood a smattering of old CSA graves adorned with both the American and Confederate flag. I researched and found out that some 300 odd soldiers were buried behind the Female Academy. A landslide exposed many of the soldiers remains and they were transferred to the City Cemetery and laid to rest.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Sepia Junk Yard



I really like this site Sepia Scenes! I took this picture while living in North Indiana. There were numerous junk yards scattered through out the roads and routes I drove. This made me pull over, a car sticking out of the dumpster! Originally I colored the car yellow, but this time I thought I would just add a light blue sky.

Rolling with the Hoity Toity

The remnants of yesterday haunt me this morning. I have an odd feeling that teeters on despondence. My shoulders are slumped, there is a heavy feeling on my chest. I truly dislike feeling so defeated.

I dropped off an employment application and a resume yesterday. I was not prepared for an impromptu interview. I was wearing the most unflattering outfit. As a matter of fact, I have no business type or "make a great first impression" type clothing for the summer months! And if I do, I no longer fit in them and have probably slipped them into the Goodwill bags I dropped off last month. I'm positive I did. The bright spring blazers .... what was I thinking!!

So, the manager of the retail jewelry store is a beautiful amazon who emerged from the repair section of the store clad in a skin tight black sheath and spike heels. She looked over my resume and application....really looked it over and glancing up at me says, "What have you been doing for two years??"

I should be prepared to answer this question and sometimes I am but I was so caught off guard, wearing the wrinkled white linen pants that I survived Hurricane Wilma in and a skin tight red T with a gossamer blouse over the T to hide my rolls of fat.

I blinked and said, "Farting around...."

She resumed reading and then asked,"Like vending machines..." I nodded. "If I were a club, how would you sell in your beverage?" (I worked for a major beverage corporation in another life, so it seems).

"A Club? Well, you wouldn't want a vending machine, you would need bag in the box."

"Not a club...", (oh boy, I thought) "...but a club that sells video games."

(oh that sort of club, I though to myself) I began to get nervous, how did I do it? It was then that my mind began spinning at a rapid speed trying to find the words to tell her that I did not do that type of selling, that I did business to business sales and would be prepared with a list of questions, several testimonies and more than likely their business was a chain that already had our product...

...but she wanted me to do the old, "Sell me this pencil...."

Shit.

I stumbled through something that sucked.

Could I pass a back ground check?

I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Guess what, my husband informs me that we are going to a dinner in two hours! Shit again. I laid on the couch and fell into a hazy semi-consciousness with dancing soda bottles performing the can-can across the living room floor.

At the bottom one of the bags that did not make it to Goodwill I find my old Charo outfit. I slip it on and because of the style and the outrageous colors, it actually makes me look slimmer and it definitely makes me feel better.

Off to meet the Sheriff, the Mayor and one of the Board of Directors of Joe's company at a fancy dinner party on the River.

The wine was flowing and I did feel better.


(May 21 with spy camera)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Project 365 with a Cell Phone

Or....why didn't I think of this before!



Last year I took on this monumental project which requires you to take a picture every day for 365 consecutive days, preferably the calender year. I struggled through about three months. It's hard to carry around a big old Nikon 50 with you every where.

Now I find out my cell phone will work just fine, because after all, it is like a spy camera! If only it did not make that annoying shutter type noise!! I felt the need to cough to cover it up yesterday while at the Career Center filling out an application for employment.

Every day life becomes more adventurous and fun.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Sense of Urgency


Side Trip to Tiny Town Produce (beware, I have learned to send my cell phone pictures to my e-mail then save them! Little crooked, but I like it. Over exposed but it was a very bright afternoon.)


I hear this question from my husband quite often over the past two years, "What do you do all day?"

If I were the honest type I would tell him this....I make coffee then sit in front of the computer for several hours. Sometimes I will attempt the crossword puzzle only if it is Monday because they tend to be easier on Monday, then I will do the SUDOKU puzzle, then I will read the paper, then I will think about what I should be doing, i.e. looking for a job, so I get back on the computer and peruse Career Builder, then I slip over to Bloglines and then I will go to Craigslist. Then I will be startled to see it is closing in on noon and I have yet to brush my teeth. Then I will brush the teeth, wash the face think about taking a shower, but now I have no time and I go to Walmart, ALDI, maybe take a side trip somewhere like Goodwill to see if anything is interesting there, then I will cruise by the Dollar Movie theatre and see if anything good is showing and plan to see it sometime during the week, then I go home, check the computer to see if I have any job offers or interest piqued from the resumes I sent out earlier, I check the snail mail, send out bill payments and maybe a card or two to my mother and others, then I relax and maybe read something from the novel/travel book I am currently reading...blah blah blah. It's a busy day!

Sometimes I do take a shower.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Quest for Job

So I ambled on down to the Career Center in Clarksville because I could not figure out how to apply for their job listings via the website.

And, I found out that you have to show up at the Center to apply!

I filled out the two pages, front and back, application and returned to the line to hand over my papers. Along with SS card and a picture ID. I was again sent back to the tables to read the "job openings" and list up to and only three jobs that I am interested in.

I quickly filled those in, since I had identified them earlier in the day on their web site, and returned to the line to once again, hand in my "application".

I was told to sit down and wait till until my name was called.

With a heavy heart, I sought out a chair that was not attached to one of the round tables that supported the books with the job openings and the desperate people. Myself, being one of them.

A guy sitting at the nearest table smiled at me and raised one of his eyebrows. Isn't that the secret signal for "I am a smart aleck"? I smiled back and as I sat I asked him how long he had been waiting.

"I came in at 1 and signed in, had lunch and came back."

Since I am unemployed I have stopped wearing a watch. Isn't it funny those things that are ritual and second nature are quickly thrown aside and forgotten. So I had no watch to look at to see what time it was and how long he had been waiting. I sighed.

We had a nice chat and I learned a lot of important and relevant things. One being that the local University, Ausin Peay, is offering a special degree for people wanting to gain employment with the MEGA corporation that is building THE MEGA factory on the north side of town. If I understood, you need some sort of Chemical Business degree. He stated that he already had a business degree which made it OK for me to state I had a college degree too! He thought that if you already had a four year degree, getting a two year Associate Degree in their Chemical Business curriculum wouldn't be too difficult.

And so it went until my name was called. In surprise I marched towards the counter...again....and the semi interrogation began.

In the middle of it she says, "I see from your drivers license that you are from Indiana. I am too."

(Not we all know that I am from Kentucky and that because of my husbands job(s) we were transferred to Ft Wayne in 2005 and then to Louisville in 2007, elected to buy a home across the river, and therefore are technically only Hoosier.)

"Where abouts?" I asked.

"Up around Ft. Wayne."

Now here I am, 500 miles from Ft Wayne, the only place in Indiana I truly have lived and meet up with a bureaucrat in the Career Center of Clarksville Tennessee who hails from the same area.

And Indiana is a big state with lots and lots of people.

"You have to be kidding" I gush, "We were living in New Haven!" (a township that is part of Ft Wayne)

"Get out! I had my hair done in New Haven! At Duce."

"No way!!Me too! Who? Not Micheal!"

"Yes! Michael!!!"

I'm telling you, the longer I live, the smaller the world becomes. (I hope it helps me get a job.)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Where did I put that darn Camera?



The camera was dusted off and carried/concealed in my Pink Birthday Purse (which could house an elephant... I love large carry-all's) for the trip to downtown Clarskville last evening for the celebratory anniversary meal.

Since I have been neglecting the camera, the flash did not fire and the pictures are very disappointing, but I am determined to return and click happily away as soon as it stops raining.

In the meantime I submit this offering to the Sepia Scenes website. I took this a long time ago at the Mayberry Train Museum. My daughter and I (back when she was younger) took several rides on this train. The Halloween Train, the Civil War re-enactment when Morgan's Raiders robbed the train to name two off the top of my head.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Screwed Up Big Time

I can not figure out how to upload my old Hippie Gypsy picture from Photobucket. As many times as I try it does not happen. So I am depressed because I want her back. I like Alphawoman and all missed her, but I will be the first to admit I am wishy washy and not that I have AW back, I want Gypsy back.

Such is life, never truly getting what you want.

Oh, by the way, I am back on line. It only took a week and a half. I now have DSL and it is okay, so far I do not see any major differences. I was taking the 15 minute trip to the library in town. I like escapism. Now that it is easy to write an entry, I am void of material.

Why? Queen of the Non-Stop, open the flood gates? Because I just want to bitch bitch bitch. And I realize it is no good. But, I can't help myself.

The SIRIUS does not work. This is bad, because I love SIRIUS and can not stand to listen to it as it stops and starts and searches for the satellite. I almost cried today. But, this is good because I have shifted through my CD's and am now listening to Ashley MacIsaac who I have been neglecting for sometime now. John Prine, Lila Downs (oooohhhhhhhh....I forgot how much I love this genre!)

I am being invaded with ants! No matter what I do, they come back. I have sprayed (which I hate to do because of the cat) cleaned with the vengeance of a scorned lover, and have the house smelling like vinegar because I read somewhere they hate it and will not return. God, I hate invaders!

And today is my anniversary. I am going out tonight and I have nothing to wear.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Toonces the Cat

Yesterday I transported the three legged cat from Louisville to Tiny Town.

I have never traveled any great distance with a cat in the vehicle before. My only experience prior to this was hauling WildThing to the vet after being bit in the butt on several occasions while living in Mayberry or hauling WildThing home from the Human Society when he was picked up for loitering and thrown into the Cat Slammer. WildThing had a habit of madly running around the car and trying to get under my feet and inhibit my driving! I always had a very young Bridget with me back then. She was little help. I imagine WildThing freaked out whenever he found himself in the car because he thought he was on his way to the vet for shots, surgery and stitches. And of course, the neutering, which no way effected his nocturnal and wandering wily ways.

WildThing. What a cat.

The Three Legged Cat is of totally different temperament. I had him in a tiny carry bag and he cried so pitifully and looked at me with such big eyes that I let him out about 20 minutes into the trip. He checked out the car then lay down on his mustard colored blanket that he loves and had claimed as his own. He watched the windshield wipers for a spell, then noticed the moon roof and watched the clouds. When night fell, he too decided to take a nap.

Suddenly he jumped up and crawled into my lap. I rubbed him behind the ears and murmured words of comfort to ease his confusion. Then, he decided he wanted to drive. Toonces the cat immediately came to mind and if my memory serves me correctly, he always wrecked!

But, Three Legged Cat was easily lured back to the passenger seat and endured the rest of the ride with minimal disruptions.

Joe and TLC had a joyful reunion that consisted of wine, turkey and exploration of the garage. The cat was made to feel at home immediately and slept with a smile on his furry face.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Another Road Side Attraction

This morning as I drove down the major connector road to the other main connector road I noticed an old guy walking a tiny dog down the sidewalk in front of the 19th century houses that line the main thoroughfare.

He was wearing a denim jacket with the sleeves cut off, a black short sleeve t-shirt underneath, a leather cap on his head, Levi's with a chain attaching his wallet to his belt to thwart and discourage theft. Under the black leather cap, his grey hair was pulled back into a pony tail that spilled over his collar and traveled half way down his back.

Damn, I thought to myself, we have landed in the place where old motor cycle gang members retire. As I looked around it became even more evident that this was true. Rail Roaders' and Aging Harley guys.

I have been meeting the locals, one at a time. Since the town's population is slightly over 1400, I should have it completed in no time. Today, after a night of tremendous thunder storms and numerous tornado watch issued, which I gloriously slept through waking only long enough to shout out "DAMN" at the loudest claps of thunder to roll over and resume dreaming.....I ambled over to the the Storage Units where I am once again forced to rent one because I have too much stuff.

The owner is Jr. Johnson, past sheriff of this fine community. A small man who I imagine was no nonsense at one time. He was very nice and now knows everything about me that brought me to have to rent a storage area. He sent me down to the local hardware store to pick up a heavy duty lock from Boogie.

I've yet to go, saving Boogie for later.

Next there was Ed, the BBQ smoker guy who has a small shack by the side of the road. I passed it, famished last Sunday, and quickly found out if it is Sunday in this here parts, not much is open if you do not travel into Clarksville. As I flew by his road side attraction I noticed the Motor Cycle Gang of about eight to twelve bikes lined up in the gravel parking lot (I am always reminded of Pee Wee Herman sashaying out of the Biker Bar only to knock over the row of Harley's lined up)and took note. As I flew back by a little later on I slowed down and pulled in. The neon light was still on flashing "OPEN" and in I went.

He is old. And by old, I mean in his 80's or quite possibly his 90's. He sits behind a make shift drive thru window and seemed surprised that I wandered in. "My waitress is gone for the day" he told me with sorrowful eyes weighed down by enormous purplish bags. "That's fine, I just would like something to go".

I was so hungry I slapped together a sandwich in the parking lot, cold slaw on BBQ with hot sauce served on a hamburger bun.

It was heaven! Sweet and smoked and the best ever pork BBQ I have ever tasted. I went back in to tell him how it was like magic and he talked about UK Basketball, since my accent is not quite right, where am I from? Central Kentucky, outside of Lexington...and so it goes.

The guy who owns the Flea Market, Jimmy C., has put me open a waiting list to rent a booth space. (I thought I would sell my books at the Flea market rather than house them in the storage unit and make some money). I am number 75. "How long do you think I will have to wait?" "Maybe forever. Unless some of those before you die or leave. You see, once they grab ahold of those booths, they hardly ever give them up." "Sounds to me you should expand your flea market." "Lord no honey!! It's too much work right now."

I have yet to venture into the State Line Bar which also sits on the Main Main Drag, a small red shack of a building with a gravel parking lot. The lot is normally filled with pick up trucks and motorcycles. I think I may be fine in there, but Joe just shakes his head and hums the theme to Deliverance.

I can't wait to get in there.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Catholic School Girl Confessions - Part II

HARASSING THE RAT

(Courtesy of spending so much time in the Clarksville Public Library)

One time at Catholic High School, the library was run, maintained and policed by a Nun who went by the nickname of The Rat. My class was not only the largest ever to attend the school, (class of 120+ depending on who was expelled from Catholic or who was expelled from one of the surrounding public schools and had to attend Catholic as the only viable alternative because the other private school was just "too private" ie: expensive)we were also the smartest of any previous or succeeding! This enabled us to come up with very amusing and cunning nicknames for our teachers and staff.

We were a wicked class. Catholic was a coed school but the sexes were separated. It was for our own good, or so we were told. We were able to concentrate on our studies and not on the opposite sex. Or so the theory went. We were mixed for our language classes. French, Spanish and Latin. And my class was the very first ever in the schools history to have a coed home room. Little did we know, we were an experiment. They had decided to separate the classes into the Smart Group and the Dumb Group (I sweat to God, it went on for years) (my brother T. was just reminiscing about it last week, how he was mistakenly put into the dumb class). As I was saying, my homeroom was the smartest of the smart!

And the most wicked of the wicked.

Back to The Rat......

To enter the library you went through two swinging doors that opened out into the hallway. Our high school was built in the shape of the letter E the opened end of the E faced the parking lot and the baseball fields (it's all changed now, with the million dollar donations, the addition of a highly successful football program, the multiple Basketball State Titles and the accusations of recruiting!!). The library was one of the corners of the E. Our Homeroom was next to the library and we liked nothing better to harass The Rat.

And the Rat did not take it laying down. We had something called Conduct Cards (I sweat to God, I may still have one stashed) and she would ask and you would hand over and she would slash away points. Your conduct grade would be what was left over at the end of the quarter.

The students would race by the library door and bang on it. Rat would rush and throw open the door trying to figure out which one of the innocent faces looking back at her was the culprit.

But the major coup was when some genius stuck the broom between the two door handles and banged loudly.

We were doubled over laughing as the Rat's face appeared in the tiny windows trying to see what was holding the doors locked tight! She was red faced angry.

I have many tiny snap shots of those four years spent at Catholic, terrorizing the Nuns, being whipped into shape by the faculty and smoking in the bathrooms, skipping school and having a major crush that lingers slightly today.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Catholic School Girl Confessions- Part I

This morning I finally found a spot in the house that the SIRIUS will receive an uninterrupted signal. As I sifted through all the stuff that seems to multiply whenever I turn my back, as if I have taken the wrong turn and entered the Twilight Zone, Bob Seagers RAMBLIN' GAMBLIN' MAN began to play and transported me back to high school.

I am standing in the girls bathroom, the only girls bathroom if you do not count the one in the gymnasium. I spend a lot of time in the girls there because I am one of the clandestine smokers who pile into the stalls and share a cigarette with the other smokers in between classes. I can feel the butt clamped between my two fingers, the ash about two inches long and glowing red. We pass it around and blow smoke out our nostrils.

Myra throws open the door grabs the community fag and takes a deep drag. As she exhales the smoke, which is mysteriously also red, she begins to belt out,

" I was born lonely
down by the riverside
learned to spin fortune wheel
and throw dice
I was just 13 when I had to leave home
knew I couldn't stick around
had to roam"

We wore the typical Catholic School Girl Uniform, blue sweater, blue pleated skirt, white blouse with "peter pan" collar (whatever that was but that is what we called it)either white socks with saddle shoes or blue knee highs with Bass Weejuns (you never mixed the two!!). Our skirts were rolled at the waist to give the effect of a mini skirt. We were made to kneel to ensure that our hems brushed the floor. We spent a lot of time rolling and unrolling those hems while puff puff passing in the girls bathroom at the end of the hall way at the ready to rush out as some duty bound Nun would rush in trying to catch us.

We were all on the road to "never gonna slow" down for that "funky world".

See ya round.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Phase II

...and so I moved the big house from Jeffersonville Indiana to the smallest town ever (from now on when ever referred to as STE..not to be confused with STD) and then jumped into a car and headed to Memphis to move that apartment to STE. This has been labeled Phase II.

Upon arrival we knew that the sofa, lawn mower, refrigerator, washer and dryer and this acoustical guitar would not fit into the vehicle with all the clothes, pots and pans, clothes (did I mention clothes already!) exercise machine, pictures, vacuum cleaner...well, you get the picture.

So, we did what everyone is doing now, we used Craigslist. And we were very successful. My husband would be annoyed that his phone did not start ringing the moment he would exited Criagslist.

By the time he received the 100th phone call about the $50 Toro lawn mower, he was totally crazy.

Out biggest problem was the refrigerator. It may have had something to do with the fact it was raining relentlessly all day Saturday and Sunday. People said they were coming and then did not show. Our first price on Friday was $150. Saturday it was $100. On Sunday "LAST CHANCE" price was $75.

We cleaned the carpet and I spent over an hour in the bathroom scrubbing away at the caulking as if we made that hundred year old stuff look that bad! All I wanted at this point was to not let Louise, my landlord down. She said to me, "I know you are going to leave that apartment better than you found it." That is an understatement as I spent the first months desperately trying to eliminate the odor left behind by the trio of five pack a day smokers.

Then I posted her Kreepy Krawly on Craiglist - $150, paid $375 and only used two months!

"I am on the list at the library to learn how to use the computer", she confided to me, "I'm number 25 in line. I was number 37, so I am getting there. Lord, I'm 79 years old, they better hurry!"

We rode over to her house with the car loaded up with the last of it and handed over the keys.

"Do you still have that refrigerator?" she asked and we nodded that yes, unfortunately we did. "Well, I can't give you $150 for it, but I'll give you $125. I need to look at it first."

So we climb into the car and head back over for the inspection.

As she climbed out of her 2006 pale yellow Lincoln (watch out any body who happens to be driving south of Memphis!) she waved her readers at the half acre of lawn, "Did that grass need cutting when you all moved in?"

You have to imagine her southern accent dripping with those syrupy elongated vowels. Joe, peering at the enormous lawn as the torrential rains caused the neon green grass to appear to grow right in front of our eyes, said, "Why yes, I mowed it as soon as I moved in."

We proceeded into the kitchen where she opened the refrigerator and looked it over and nodded her approval that the deal was sealed. Then her attention turned to the stove, "Did this stove need cleaning when y'all moved in?"

I shrugged and mentally kicked myself for not scrubbing the pans under the burners as she lifted them up in disgust. "Well, I normally replace them anyway." As she moved out of the kitchen and into the living room to continue with the once over.

Once it was over and we had our deposit back and a second check for the refrigerator we were giddy with joy! Joe more so because Louise had not checked the windows. Joe, late one evening had the scare of his life. As he took out his small pistol for some absurd reason (I am not a gun person) and it went off (this is why I am not a gun person) and he shot through the curtain, the blinds, the glass, and the screen.

I can hear Louise now, "Was this bullet hole here when you moved in?"

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Come and Find Me Suckers

The first week of April I signed up to (try) and write an entry a day for a month. I knew it was risky but I thought that I could do it. I am in the middle of moving and I thought it would be a healthy distraction as well as help me focus on the interesting aspects of pulling up roots and relocating.

I began to miss days in the midst of crisis' looming and the overwhelming feeling of pressures. Yet, here I sit in an empty family room on a freshly cleaned carpet banging away on the keyboard and watching old episodes of South Park. I have the garage to sweep out, garbage to dispose of, the kitchen to clean, and the bathrooms, odds and ends to throw into the car and I am out of here!

The cat sits in the door way to the kitchen lounging on the mustard colored blanket he has taken to. I feel his confusion. Joe says I assign too many human qualities to him, but I do believe he is also concerned about things. All will end well for him. The past several days have been extremely exciting for him. He has been finding himself allowed outside albeit under supervision. He loved it under the ramp of the moving truck and swatted at all who happened to walk by. As it my nature to always have to know exactly when he is at all times, since he has the annoying habit of running out when no one is looking, he has developed another annoying habit called "Come and Find Me Suckers!". I assign this quality to him, he loves to play and has turned into the all time hide and seek champion. When our voices begin to take on that panicked pitch he will materialize like an apparition, in a nonchalant poise looking at you with slowly blinking green eyes and the touch of a smirk around his mouth.

I am going to unplug the machine and transport it to ....where is this part of Kentucky exactly? That area of Tennessee is called Middle Tennessee and we are a hairs breath from the Tennessee border, but it is West Kentucky. So, it is to the west I go.

And I am going to upgrade to the new Blogger templates so the Header may change. And I may go back to Alphawoman's Blog.

Why? Because I miss her.

All's cool. All's good.

(A Several minutes later! Wow! What a change! But, Ilike it. I will have to work on it. Alpha'a back Baby!!)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Ode To Kentucky Derby Past



Some people think it is attending the 7th game of the World Series. Others think it is being among the many at the Super Bowl. Some poor souls think it is attending the Masters. And then some will argue it is a front row seat at Wimbledon, the Indy 500, NASCAR, or the World Cup, or the Stanley Cup final game, or the NCAA championship final. Wrong wrong wrong. I am here to tell you it is a breath taking two minutes held on the first Saturday in May in a little old town called "Louavull" on a horse track known as Churchill Downs for a race called The Kentucky Derby.

I attended the 1973 race that is, without doubt, the greatest Horse Race in recent history where Secretariat blasted the mile and a quarter in under two minutes. Over 35 years later, his record stands.

In 1974 I attended the 100th running when Cannonade received the blanket of roses. I was one of a crowd of 165,000 + spectators. We were packed into the infield like the wild animals we were (back then) and no fence could restrain us! At the first turn, we knocked down the fence and rushed the rail. (if you watch to about the 40 second mark you can see me, I am the one with the sunburn).


JUMPING JESUS! Watching the entire race I realized you can see the guys climbing the infamous flag pole!! Whoever - some one, only they know - climbed the pole and "streaked" (flashed/mooned) the entire infield

It was many many years later I returned to the Derby. I thought that the incident at the 100th running would have been forgotten by that time. I believe it was 1987 and I got to see the great horse Alysheba, son of Alydar, who was always a bridesmaid and never the Bride finishing second every single race to the Triple Crown Winner Affirmed!!

People wonder why? Some people do not get horse racing. All I have to say is get to a Derby once (preferably in Millionaire Row) and you will forever understand.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Go With The Flow

As we pulled up to the Budget Rent A Truck -NOT! Center I accepted the glaring realization that the place was closed up tighter than a drum. It was several minutes after noon and maybe I was misinformed or not informed that I had to be there before noon!

A quick phone call informed me that I was at the incorrect Budget center and happily we took off for another part of the city.

"I am not going to let myself freak out", I said to my young friend and companion, "I told myself that I am going to have to go with the flow and do what I can, concentrate on one thing at a time.The whole is overwhelming."

"This is what I admire about you, how you can keep it together! I have to have it all planned out and running smoothly. If something goes wrong, I fall to pieces. I think of you when I am in situations...."

I smiled and sat a little straighter knowing that I am a positive influence on this wonderful, successful young adult!

We arrive at the true rental place and survey the several trucks lined up at the front of the parking lot facing the major artery. They did not look too bad and something inside of me relaxed. I felt relieved that the trucks were all 16 footers and not the 24 footer that I had ordered. For the past 24 hours I had dreaded having to drive the Monster Of My Imagination. But, if they did not have a 24 footer I would once again roll with the punches.

The Monster of My Imagination was parked out back.

We discretely waited for the manager to return to the store as I climbed up into the cab and turned on the diesel engine and acted like I was examining all the gages and gear shifters, the brakes.

"Shall I go get the car?" he asked innocently.

"Yes, please. That would be lovely."

As soon as that guy was long gone and my car was humming in wait, we exchanged seats and high tailed it down the road to Project get The Hell Out Of Here!

We arrived at the soon to be Old Homestead Now Rental Property, and immediately realized it was going to be a bitch to maneuver the truck around the residential street and back the Monster into the drive way. A mail box and a lone utility pole were obstacles that posed a major problem.

As I was on the phone giving directions to a hopelessly lost Step Son who was creeping along the streets in the bowels of West Louisville searching for an escape over the River into Indiana perhaps reacting to the panic in his voice, I hysterically scream at the fast approaching 24 foot rental truck (IT WILL COST $50,000 TO REPLACE ONE OF OUR TRUCKS IF YOU DO NOT HAVE IT INSURED!!)

"WATCH OUT FOR THAT TELEPHONE POLE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So much for my Step Son's ear drums.

So much for my cool under pressure persona. It was a nice illusion while it lasted.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Truckin' Got My Chips Cashed In

I awake at the literal crack of dawn by the lone wisp of the first song from the bird choir. It is still dark as before the dawn, yet there is no mistaking the day is breaking as the silly cat makes a trip over my chest. He is heavy, as I have fattened him up over the past six months. He plants himself in the open window, laying down to listen to the warm up for the symphony.

This is every morning, my life, and this is the next to the last day this perfect spring water color morning will unfold just this way.

I will meet a friend for breakfast. One of my longest long time friends. One from those very first days of college. One that has lasted through the upheavals, the change of course, the husbands, the boyfriends, the fights, the break-up, the coming back together. The friendship is rare as a fine wine. When it resumed, after a long long silence, I thought "why is this woman my friend? Would I be drawn to her now?"

Yet, she knows things about me, the "other" me. That other "me" that I think no longer exists until I am with her. She is still there, maybe not exactly hiding, but just shoved back. Back behind responsibility, behind the pain, behind the growth, behind the maturity. She use to be very skinny, smoke a lot of dope, and drink cheap Boones Farm Strawberry Wine. She was so much fun!

I also got to see my High School BFF this week. Separated by four states it is difficult to see each other often enough. I was hesitant to see her because I have gained 20 pounds. Have you heard anything more ridiculous? Seeing her, picking back up over a bottle of wine, is like going home.

The watercolor day is really beginning. Must go. Bloody Mary's are calling me!

Friday, April 24, 2009

I'm Just Not That In To Me

I gave up trying to write a post a day for a month. I just do not have that much happening that is interesting. Well, that is not the truth, it's just that I can not share a lot of stuff that is very interesting. Since I am not as anonymous as I would like. Or, I just do not have the guts.

Life is falling apart. I have a truck rented for tomorrow and no one to help fill it up and/or drive it to the destination. It appears that Joe's new immediate boss, knowing that Joe is "moving" this week-end decided to take some vacation days leaving Joe in charge of not one, but two locations!!

I like Joe's immediate boss, but not today. And I may remain angry for sometime. I am in a tight spot. Yet, I am not going to freak out and fought back tears all day long.

My friend is going to help me get the truck and load the furniture. Then, Joe's son will arrive to help later in the day. And hopefully, drive the truck to the final destination.

I have been drinking heavily all day.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Funk 49

or....I need a Wife!

I vacillate from feelings of dread to a state of apathy. From rage to fear. From disbelief to surrender. The monstrous amount of responsibilities that sits on my shoulders will crush me if I allow it. Instead, I make lists, revise them, tear them up, begin anew.

Time is running out. Everything is settled in the other new place of residence. I am ashamed to say that I had a hissy fit of sorts at the Water Company, aka City hall. Did I mention I am moving into a town on the outskirts of Clarksville, and the entire population is under 1500? When they told me I could not write a check for the deposit, that I had to present them a Cashiers Check, a Money Order or Cash, or a combination of the three, I just lost it. $150 deposit!!!!! "What kind of water do you all have here? Ponce de Leon water?" she looked at me blankly, "The fountain of youth? That would explain the outrageous deposit! Can't you do a credit check or something?"

And from behind a partition came this voice, "You're in small town now".

I wanted to smack her face. What did that have to do with anything?

It got worse. At the electric company they told me my husbands social security number did not match his name, "That will be $240 please". He raged, not at them at me! I Must have given them the wrong number, they must have key punched it in wrong. This once happened with a credit card. It's the most embarrassing thing ever!!!

Well, I just hope the Social Security office can straighten it out.

Then I argued with the people at AT&T. My Razr is obsolete. Replacing the battery would maybe work for a while, but odds are it would just resume the problem I am having now. No matter how many times I told them it was not the original battery, that I had traded with my husband because he had problems with the battery and that he depended on his cell phone for his work so I traded...they only wanted to sell me a new phone. IE, one not obsolete, one that had a key board and no, they no longer carried flip phones. Obviously, technology has left me behind. I do not text all day and I do not check my e-mail all day, I do not live and die by a PDA.

Two years out of the work force and I am truly a dinosaur. Me and my cell phone.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Angst at the Yard Sale

I have spent the prior three nights tossing and turning in angst laced dreams, anxiety and worries about the Yard Sales. I only advertised on Craigslist, no "Mayberry Sun" the weekly newspaper from the Idyllic Hometown, to drop off the announcement of impending sale that everyone in town would read, and if interested, attend.

I jumped out of bed at 5am after trying to sleep with little success. I ran to Kroger to pick up supplies. I found a helium balloon, bright red that proclaimed the announcement "SALE". Since thy used them throughout the store, I thought I could just get it for nothing! No way, $2.99 to purchase their advertising! Nuts! I posted the "YARD SALE" signs in eye grabbing electricfying colors. This was the source of my anxiety the previous night, the placement of the signs. My eyes opened and I sat up in bed and realized we have not a single telephone pole in the area as our lines (cable etc) are all under ground! How am I to advertise and lure people to my house???

Then I calmed myself with my Nine Year Beverage Career training and found plastic straps and a hole puncher and TA-DA my signs were strapped to the street sign's at both ends of the street.

Next, I began to set up. It was approximately 645am and that was when they began to come.

Post it and they will come!

I am sun burnt, exhausted, and so relieved it is over. Now, I just have the move itself to worry about. That should be worse, huh?

Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Where did all the good men go?

Yesterday and today I have advertised my "Moving Sale" on Craigslist. I have listed some of the items that I want to sell, such as the eclectic coffee table and matching end tables, the Elvis first day issues, the electric saw, stuff like that.

I also included this patio Coca Cola umbrella I have. My thinking is this, if I have not used it or looked at it or even forgotten I owned it, it goes into the yard sale. The umbrella falls into the last category. It's brand new, never out of the box.

I received an e-mail, "How much are you asking for the umbrella?"

I thought about it and e-mailed back, "$10".

She e-mailed me back, "Is it a patio umbrella!!"

Oh my, I was not asking enough, so I e-mailed back, "From your reaction, I guess I am not asking enough! It is a patio umbrella and I am going to ask $25!"

She e-mailed me back and offered $20 and since I was feeling like a weird sort of two faced Indian Giver person, I said OK. She wrote she was sending her husband over around 8pm.

A little after 8 o'clock here he comes in a little blue pick up truck. He ambles up to the door wearing overalls and a John Deere hat, his face as weathered as an old apple.

"You must be Barb's husband" I said in greeting as he opened his wallet as I opened the door. He stood on the door step, I thought he would come in as I held the door open wide, but he stopped and gave me a charming smile and handed me the $20 as I handed him the umbrella.

"It's brand new" I explained as my fingers tightened around the bill, my first sale!

He began to walk down the step, gave me a wave and said, "Just doing what I'm told" and turns and walks away.

"I wish I had one like you", I said to his retreating back.

My daughter came up behind me and said, "Just like Grandpa. Where did all the good men go? Where are they? Where can I find one?"

I just shook my head, "1940 I guess."

But, my karma for the day was in peril. I had`advertised the maple bed in Memphis, just to get rid of it because it is a king size and just too heavy, too big, just too much for $100. I got a fish on the hook immediately and she met Joe tonight.

"Now she wanted $75 for it..............??????"

So Joe thought it was $75!! Man, she got me good!!

What goes around comes around, never forget it.